ORLY? News

[feather240]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/09/03/health/cbsdoc/main5284646.shtml?tag=contentMain;contentBody

ORLY?

That's right people, all those people obsessed with loseing weight and being healthy might get eating disorders.



http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/27/earlyshow/health/main5269114.shtml?tag=contentMain;contentBody


ORLY?

That's right people, weight and mass may not be the same thing. Muscle could weigh more than fat, shocker.


http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=5268809n&tag=contentMain;contentBody

ORLY?

That's right people, eating to much sugar may be bad for you.


http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/26/health/main5266774.shtml

ORLY?

That's right people, the tobacco company is evil, and is targeting third world countries. It's a huge surprise, since this is the first time they've done that. *cough*

I hate the news now, and some people learn from it. I found these in health class. Every single one of them was found by accident. Is the human race this stupid, or do we just have a great sense of humor? Got any dumb news you would like to post? Post it, I'm sure we would all like to see it.

 

[Code Monkey]

Dude, Google "Fox News and "Error"
You will not be dissapointed with the smorgusboard of failure.

 

[Dys]

Some of them really are. A few years ago there was a story in the paper documenting the findings of a multi-million dollar government study claiming that fat kids often have trouble fitting in with skinny students in school. Really, no fucking shit? It cost millions of taxpayer dollars to drop that bombshell?

A 30 cent phonecall to any teacher in the country could have given the same result, with just as much validity, yet we somehow felt we needed some bullshit psychology experiment to prove the complete fucking obvious. Hey, here's another shocker, fat kids are less likely to play sports, can I have a few million dollars for my insight now?

 

[eatenbyagrue]

Some of them really are. A few years ago there was a story in the paper documenting the findings of a multi-million dollar government study claiming that fat kids often have trouble fitting in with skinny students in school. Really, no fucking shit? It cost millions of taxpayer dollars to drop that bombshell?

A 30 cent phonecall to any teacher in the country could have given the same result, with just as much validity, yet we somehow felt we needed some bullshit psychology experiment to prove the complete fucking obvious. Hey, here's another shocker, fat kids are less likely to play sports, can I have a few million dollars for my insight now?

Quoted for truth, awesome and sarcasm.

Makes me think they keep a group of scientists on retainer just to say stuff like that. It all reminds me of a Far Side strip I saw some years back, involving a group of scientists testing old idioms ("A watched pot does not boil", "a rolling stone gathers no moss", etc.)

 

[feather240]

Some of them really are. A few years ago there was a story in the paper documenting the findings of a multi-million dollar government study claiming that fat kids often have trouble fitting in with skinny students in school. Really, no fucking shit? It cost millions of taxpayer dollars to drop that bombshell?

A 30 cent phonecall to any teacher in the country could have given the same result, with just as much validity, yet we somehow felt we needed some bullshit psychology experiment to prove the complete fucking obvious. Hey, here's another shocker, fat kids are less likely to play sports, can I have a few million dollars for my insight now?

Actually I'm going to look that up. *waiting* Nah, couldn't find it, sorry. Apparently Jocks are jerks though, and that isn't a stereotype at all.

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Dude, Google "Fox News and "Error"
You will not be dissapointed with the smorgusboard of failure.

It might not be the same thing I got, what you're thinking about. But still.

"I'm... On... TV."

 

[feather240]

Dude, Google "Fox News and "Error"
You will not be dissapointed with the smorgusboard of failure.

It might not be the same thing I got, what you're thinking about. But still.

"I'm... On... TV."

Where's the "I'm... On... TV." thing? Can you link it to me?

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Where's the "I'm... On... TV." thing? Can you link it to me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqPJNqmc5Cw

 

[feather240]

Where's the "I'm... On... TV." thing? Can you link it to me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqPJNqmc5Cw

Was that fake? The You-tube comments say so, but You-tube is a breeding ground for trolls.

 

[Lord George]

See this is why you get your news from something like the BBC.

 

[IxionIndustries]

Hmm.. Well.. I was watching this National Geographic video that was supposed to be about the Incas in my spanish class..
Turns out it was a documentary about the stupidest archaeological team I've ever seen.

You see, they found this skull with holes in it, and said "Hmm... I think these are bullet holes! Maybe the Spanish conquistadors had GUNS!"

The funny thing is, this documentary was done in 2004, 2005 or something. I swear to god, I had seen, in one of my history books that was printed waaaaay before that, had an article that talked about all the weapons the Spanish used to conquer South America, which included GUNS!

It really agitates me when scientists go through all that fucking trouble to figure OBVIOUS things out.

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Where's the "I'm... On... TV." thing? Can you link it to me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqPJNqmc5Cw

Was that fake? The You-tube comments say so, but You-tube is a breeding ground for trolls.

Honestly, I don't know. I think it was, because someone would have commented on it otherwise, but still. It's humorous either way.

 

[TSED]

Yeah guys!

Let's make fun of scientists who spent years in university earning their degrees!

Let's make fun of scientists who are taught to question everything without proof as otherwise knowledge stagnates and commonly believed falsehoods remain unquestioned!


Let's make fun of people smarter than we are just because they said something that seems obvious to us! It's not like they're highly trained professionals doing their job or anything! Nope! Anyone can figure out that fat kids are made fun of and have proper statistical analysis of this! Everyone knows every word ever penned by any historian is complete unadulterated truth! Everyone knows we understand absolutely everything about everything!


Seriously, shut up. Some one needs to do the 'obvious' so that we can begin changing things for the better. This is how western societies are set up - we can't just go and do things because we have a hunch. You don't like it? Go found a theocracy or something.

 

[feather240]

Yeah guys!

Let's make fun of scientists who spent years in university earning their degrees!

Let's make fun of scientists who are taught to question everything without proof as otherwise knowledge stagnates and commonly believed falsehoods remain unquestioned!


Let's make fun of people smarter than we are just because they said something that seems obvious to us! It's not like they're highly trained professionals doing their job or anything! Nope! Anyone can figure out that fat kids are made fun of and have proper statistical analysis of this! Everyone knows every word ever penned by any historian is complete unadulterated truth! Everyone knows we understand absolutely everything about everything!


Seriously, shut up. Some one needs to do the 'obvious' so that we can begin changing things for the better. This is how western societies are set up - we can't just go and do things because we have a hunch. You don't like it? Go found a theocracy or something.

It's because this has all been proven before, or the news screwed up. Yes it's their job to research it, but if they don't find anything new it doesn't need to be reported. If it turns out enough sugar causes you to bloat with helium than I'll read it. If it says that I'll get diabetes I'll say "duh". If they don't discover something new we don't need to hear about it in the news. ( I paid a hundred dollars to some anyalists to evaluate your paragraph. They believe I disagree with you.)

..but in all seriousness I only meant that if we already think we know something there is no need to reassure us. The scientists can check it, but if nothing new is discovered the news doesn't need to tell us we were right, unless their is skepticism.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

people like to point out the obvious?

ORLY?

we kinda know that,as well as the fact that scientists love to waste money on useless experiments for example: in this video they taught monkeys to riverdance,cool but utterly uselessI had an urge to pull that out with all the people talking about how scientists waste time.

 

[TSED]

It's because this has all been proven before, or the news screwed up. Yes it's their job to research it, but if they don't find anything new it doesn't need to be reported. If it turns out enough sugar causes you to bloat with helium than I'll read it. If it says that I'll get diabetes I'll say "duh". If they don't discover something new we don't need to hear about it in the news. ( I paid a hundred dollars to some anyalists to evaluate your paragraph. They believe I disagree with you.)

..but in all seriousness I only meant that if we already think we know something there is no need to reassure us. The scientists can check it, but if nothing new is discovered the news doesn't need to tell us we were right, unless their is skepticism.

... Only there are frightening amounts of people who DON'T know this stuff. I've talked to a lot of them. This being in the media helps to educate them.

News flash: you are not every target audience. And using new techniques on old knowledge to discover if it worked just like how you thought it did? Yeah, that's such a bad thing, even though it will often (usually?) turn up "yep, just what we thought."

The academic world is quite different from the 'real' one. It has its flaws, yes, but I'd rather take it as it is with those flaws than risk turning it into state-sponsored doctrin-spinning.


@Monkeys: Fake. That's so cropped and edited you cannot miss it.

And even if they did... That's actually valuable. It means that chimps can learn how to do complex cultural acts which have no 'use' in their tribal lives. If chimps can do it, the next step is to learn how far that ability goes... And bam. You'll discover something about brain structure with some rigorous cross-examination. Some experiments are just stepping stones.

 

[Andronicus]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/27/earlyshow/health/main5269114.shtml?tag=contentMain;contentBody


ORLY?

That's right people, weight and mass may not be the same thing. Muscle could weigh more than fat, shocker.

This article seems to indicate that doing exercise to lose weight is a complete myth, which is, once you actually read the article, complete rubbish. The reason exercise (may not) help you lose weight is not because it simply doesn't work, but because people are too stupid to realise that 30 minutes of pilates isn't going to allow you to eat whatever sugar and/or fat infused foods you want and still lose weight. Sure exercise makes you hungry. So what? Doing exercise isn't going to stop you losing weight. It's filling your diet with fat and sugar that will make you fat.

I hope these people start reporting actual facts. Although, to be fair, the actual information in the article was, as has been said above, pretty retarded to begin with, so I suppose they needed some kind of suitable hook to get people to read the damn thing.

 

[gentleben]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/26/health/main5266774.shtml

ORLY?

That's right people, the tobacco company is evil, and is targeting third world countries. It's a huge surprise, since this is the first time they've done that. *cough*

A corporation can not be evil, it works solely for the benefit of its shareholders.

 

[captainwillies]

Is the human race this stupid?

no just evil