orphan has found a new home in my favorite movie list

buddee1

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Jan 11, 2009
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I have been waiting for the movie Orphan to come out. I was begging that it would be an at least half-way decent movie, thankfully Orphan was one of the best psychological horror movies I have seen in a while.
The has a back story is strange as it is clouded in dialog. As far as i can tell Kate Coleman, a former alcoholic with two children hoping to adopt a third, was passed out drunk as one of her children, Maxine Coleman a five year old with brain damage leaving her deaf, because of this she can read lips and knows sing language, falls through the frozen lake in front of there house giving her brain damage. After this her and her husband John Coleman, the husband of Kate and father of there two children, have one more child Daniel Coleman, a tween focused on his friends and refusing to learn sign language because he is embarrassed of his sister. Before all this however Kate has a miscarriage leaving them wanting another child. That other child is Ester, a strange Russian nine year old with a strange and clouded past. This is the one thing that i did not like about this movie, i really hate when the back story Isn't clear.
the story is odd John and Kate (possibly plus eight?) adopt Ester and try to raise her as well they can, however, when a child who made fun of Ester at school "slips" and breaks her ankle while she is around Kate starts to get suspicious and takes Ester to a therapist. All the sudden a few very bad things start to happen, the car gets put into neutral and starts to coast down hill with Maxine still in the car and Daniel is trapped in his tree house while it is set on fire, Kate becomes very suspicious however John still doesn't understand this even after its ..just...OBVIOUS! After doing some research on Ester, Kate finds that the orphanage she was raised in when she was in Russia doesn't even exist.
If you don't want to find out how the movie ends than don't read on
An orderly from the mental institution she was raised in (just... don't ask)says that she is not a nine year old girl at all
(sigh) She is in fact a 33 year old woman
At this point I just thought "Wow they just jumped over so many sharks."
As this is going on Ester is trying to seduce John (again...don't ask) while Kate rushes home. When she gets home she finds John dead and Ester looking for Maxine. A fight gets onto the ice with Maxine trailing behind. Ester drops a gun that Maxine picks up, while aiming for Ester she hits the ice, Kate and her fall through. Kate climbs through the hole she and Ester made, with Ester holding on to her leg saying "help me mommy"
with Kate replying "I'm not your fucking mommy!" and kicks her in the head causing her neck to break and die in the ice.
Over all i give this movie a 9/10 the only flaw being the back story.
 

HT_Black

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May 1, 2009
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Pardon me, but I've a very serious question (no, really!):
Was that a review, or a plot summary? ...I just don't know what to make of that; please tell me.
Moreover-- was Orphan something to come out recently, or something old? Because, believe it or not, I'm rather intrigued and can't remember hearing about it before.
Mind your punctuation as well, lad.
 

buddee1

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Jan 11, 2009
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HT_Black said:
Pardon me, but I've a very serious question (no, really!):
Was that a review, or a plot summary? ...I just don't know what to make of that; please tell me.
Moreover-- was Orphan something to come out recently, or something old? Because, believe it or not, I'm rather intrigued and can't remember hearing about it before.
Mind your punctuation as well, lad.
yeah it really more was like a plot summary and yes the movie orphan came out about a week ago
 

Lost In The Void

When in doubt, curl up and cry
Aug 27, 2008
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Since I've seen the movie before I'm Ok with this summary, but this may be a huge spoiler to those who have not seen the movie, there fore I recommend editing your title to say that it includes spoilers.

On topic I have to say I did enjoy the movie, though the final line between Ester and Kate really spoiled it for me, and I would've liked more epilogue. Other then a few little problems, it was a good movie, and I recommend seeing it.
 

Advent Antigone

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Jun 13, 2009
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Maybe it's just me, but does Orphan not seem like a complete rehash of the Silent Hill movie storyline in parts?
 

AmrasCalmacil

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Jul 19, 2008
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That sounds... Very odd. It's probably not helped by the structuring of the review though. More capital letters and more spaced apart paragraphs may have helped.
 

Aac18

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Mar 21, 2009
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Advent Antigone said:
Maybe it's just me, but does Orphan not seem like a complete rehash of the Silent Hill movie storyline in parts?
It does sound very similar, and after the horror that was the silent hill movie I think I'll give this a pass.
 

BoVinE

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Sep 25, 2008
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What did shark jumping have to do with Ester being 30ish? I have honestly never heard that phrase.
 

buddee1

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Jan 11, 2009
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BoVinE said:
What did shark jumping have to do with Ester being 30ish? I have honestly never heard that phrase.
jumping the shark means to resort to ridiculous plot lines.
 

fanklok

Legendary Table User
Jul 17, 2009
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well the commercials didnt make it look to good and this summarry makes it look not that good ill pass on it but the hurt locker looked good care to watch that and summarise it for me?
 

WithHisHat

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May 27, 2009
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Franky I'm going to have to disagree with you. I thought The Orphan was a frustratingly bad movie that does things no piece of cinema should ever do. Considering you already ruined the plot (if you can call it that) I'll just go ahead and list every horrible thing this movie does.
Obviously SPOILERS!
-Shows a still birth in the grossest way possible
-kills a nun
-physiologically damages a deaf child (there is a ridiculous amount of this in the movie)
-has said innocent child firing a gun
-9-year old trying to have sex with 30 year old
-9-year old catching married couple having sex
-up close bird killing
-child smothering

The very little horror in this 2 hour movie is all just, "jump out and boo!" garbage. You don't feel scared at whats to come you feel aggravated at how helpless everyone is. I wouldn't recommend this to my worse enemies.
 
Jun 8, 2009
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I know this is old but I gotta understand something.

buddee1 said:
she is not a nine year old girl at all
(sigh) She is in fact a 33 year old woman
"She is not a nine year old girl at all. She is in fact a 33 year old woman."

..Not a nine yearold girl at all. She is in fact a 33 year old

....She is in fact a 33 year old.

......In fact a 33 year old...

........A 33 year old.

...........33.

She's a midget with a 9 year-old face and high-pitched voice? I just don't understand at all. Like.. Eeeeeh.
 

CrafterMan

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Aug 3, 2008
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I saw the trailers with a couple of mates and we shat ourselves laughing, looked so ridiculous..

Also, even for a plot summary it is just poor writing, paragraphs help!! :)

-Joe
 

scnj

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Nov 10, 2008
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After reading that 'review', I'm glad that I had no plans to see the film. A very spoilery plot summary with a score at the end does not make a review. You need to give us your opinions on why it was good or bad etc.
 

ThaBenMan

Mandalorian Buddha
Mar 6, 2008
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FYI, this is how you make spoilers -

[ spoiler ]whatever you want in the spoiler box[ /spoiler ] (except with no spaces between the brackets)

And was it even necessary to include the spoilers like you did? I wasn't really planning to see this movie, but some others may have. It's just good form when writing a review to try and avoid any major spoilers.
 

SebZero

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Jul 30, 2009
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Ugh that stillbirth scene at the beginning was the worst part of that movie...
 

tenk51

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Aug 21, 2008
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that sounds just awful, the fact that a grown woman can not deal with a 9 year old girl is not made better by the fact that the girl is actualy a 30 year old midget.