Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 - The Worst Movie of 2015

[Albino Boo]

Kevin James and Adam Sandler REALLY need to stop making films -_-

You know what's the weirdest thing? Adam Sandler has 3 Netflix Original Movies in production right now. 3. On Netflix, which is known for its quality control on par with HBO.

Sandler's movies consistently make money. As a percentage return on investment his films do better than some blockbusters. Thats why Netflix have his movies because enough people like them. God knows why, but there is no accounting for taste

 

[RJ 17]

Well of course this was going to be absolute garbage. There hasn't been a funny "Fat Guy Being Fat" movie since Chris Farley died...and even he only had two that were any good.

Even so, give it some time and this will get a cult following. Comedy = Tragedy + Time, so just like The Room, the legendary terribleness of this movie will come full circle with people wanting to see it just to experience the soul-wrenching awfulness for themselves.

Case in point:

0% on Rotten Tomatoes. 0% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!

That's worse than many infamously bad movies like Catwoman. I'm so shocked. I'm even more shocked seeing all the reviews of it being so hilarious to read. They seem just short of "this film gave me cancer of the soul" or "I no longer have reason to live when such filth sees the light of day"

But with such awful reviews and no recommendations to watch...I feel compelled to watch it now, even if I'm getting the impression this isn't a "so awful, it's entertaining" kind of film.

See? It's happening already.

 

[Lightknight]

Kevin James and Adam Sandler REALLY need to stop making films -_-

Or at least start making good ones. They're both talented actors, they're both sometimes funny, but it irks me that they always resort to the lowest common denominators of humour.

That is the thing, isn't it? Adam Sandler in particular can be a really good actor, a talented song writer and even a pretty good singer.

But he goes for the brows so low they might as well be pubes. So, his talent is wasted.
It really is quite a shame.

This comes with a BIG citation needed, but I remember hearing somewhere that the reason that Adam Sandler makes mostly low-brow movies these days is because his low-brow films which are poorly received do better at the box-office than his 'better' stuff. And its a shame, because when Adam Sandler is good, he's really good.

Exactly, to contribute to what you're saying. Let's take this move for example, I've never seen a movie score this badly. An actual 0 on rotten tomatoes?

And yet, it's already made $4million above the $30 million budget and it only released this past weekend. To put that in perspective, that's already more than a 13% return on investment in one weekend. So it literally cannot flop from here on out. The investors already have to be kinda happy with a return that Wall street usually doesn't hit in a year.

His movies are low budget and high return. Complaining about Adam Sandler making them is like complaining about someone running a successful business that doesn't impact you at all.

So will we get to see the Adam Sandler of movies like Reign Over Me again? Ones where he makes you care about his character and forget that he's Billy Madison all grown up and doing movies?

I really hope so but not likely. He and Don Cheadle were superb in Reign Over Me and it only made $2 million on top of its $22 million budget. That was a movie that made a critical score of 61% on Rotten tomatoes (consistent praise for Adam and Don) but with over 80% fan approval. And yet it was still a pretty big flop. I mean, I loved the film and everyone I knew that had seen it did too. That's the same critic score as The Hobbit (five armies) but Reign Over Me had a higher audience score by a fair margin.

So yeah, compare this to the 0% critical reception, 50% audience score that Paul Blart just got and already a successful return.

 

[happyninja42]

They're both talented actors, they're both sometimes funny,

Really?

Ok, I'd grant you Sandler in some of his earlier movies, though that might just be nostalgia for back when I was much less mature than (at least I want to believe) I am now.

But, Kevin James? I've never seen a single thing he's been attached to that was remotely humorous. If all of his works were instantly purged from existence, nothing of value would be lost.

I don't know about if you would find it funny, but the movie "Here Comes the Boom" was a pretty good one. There were some comedy bits in it, they were ok, but I liked it for the fact that it was a reasonably serious roll for Kevin James. If you haven't seen it, I'd say give it a look. It's probably not going to change your overall opinion on Kevin, but you still might find the movie good.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

They're both talented actors, they're both sometimes funny,

Really?

Ok, I'd grant you Sandler in some of his earlier movies, though that might just be nostalgia for back when I was much less mature than (at least I want to believe) I am now.

But, Kevin James? I've never seen a single thing he's been attached to that was remotely humorous. If all of his works were instantly purged from existence, nothing of value would be lost.

I don't know about if you would find it funny, but the movie "Here Comes the Boom" was a pretty good one. There were some comedy bits in it, they were ok, but I liked it for the fact that it was a reasonably serious roll for Kevin James. If you haven't seen it, I'd say give it a look. It's probably not going to change your overall opinion on Kevin, but you still might find the movie good.

I liked "Here comes the Boom", but it was mostly in spite of Kevin James that I liked it. Bas Rutten was much funnier than him in the movie, Henry Winkler was a way better actor, and Salma Hayek was...Salma Hayek.

 

[MCerberus]

Someone I know who actually watched this thing on a bet:
"It's like someone is desperately trying to make Idiocracy a documentary"

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Spoiler: Well, crap. :c

Exactly, to contribute to what you're saying. Let's take this move for example, I've never seen a movie score this badly. An actual 0 on rotten tomatoes?

And yet, it's already made $4million above the $30 million budget and it only released this past weekend. To put that in perspective, that's already more than a 13% return on investment in one weekend. So it literally cannot flop from here on out. The investors already have to be kinda happy with a return that Wall street usually doesn't hit in a year.

His movies are low budget and high return. Complaining about Adam Sandler making them is like complaining about someone running a successful business that doesn't impact you at all.

So will we get to see the Adam Sandler of movies like Reign Over Me again? Ones where he makes you care about his character and forget that he's Billy Madison all grown up and doing movies?

I really hope so but not likely. He and Don Cheadle were superb in Reign Over Me and it only made $2 million on top of its $22 million budget. That was a movie that made a critical score of 61% on Rotten tomatoes (consistent praise for Adam and Don) but with over 80% fan approval. And yet it was still a pretty big flop. I mean, I loved the film and everyone I knew that had seen it did too. That's the same critic score as The Hobbit (five armies) but Reign Over Me had a higher audience score by a fair margin.

So yeah, compare this to the 0% critical reception, 50% audience score that Paul Blart just got and already a successful return.

That was kind of depressing.

There has to be some kind of backlash though, right? The movie did well opening, but there's no way it will live on, right?

There's got to be some long term effects.

Spoiler: Otherwise, I'll feel like this guy.

[https://imageshack.com/i/id2xYfj7j]

OT: Thanks for the warning!

 

[JenSeven]

Guess the sponsors won't be happy with this one
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/140313-Sponsored-Paul-Blart-Fast-and-Furious-Trailer

Maybe choose better sponsors next time round?

 

[Aerosteam]

This is the worst birthday present ever.

 

[TakerFoxx]

I'm just stunned that this thing exists. It's like that Cats and Dogs sequel that came out a couple years ago. Was there really that much demand for a Mall Cop 2?

 

[Evonisia]

And thus, every other film of 2015 breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

Jim Sterling, when setting up the star system for The Escapist, called the 0.5 the Dread Half-Star. This film was given less than that, and it's almost tragically beautiful.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/video-games/editorials/7149-What-Our-Review-Scores-Mean

I know that score was for games, but I've always been under the impression that MovieBob (and now Marter) have just tried creating a film-equivalent that's just not been published to The Escapist as a guide.

 

[Arpegus]

Guess the sponsors won't be happy with this one
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/140313-Sponsored-Paul-Blart-Fast-and-Furious-Trailer

Maybe choose better sponsors next time round?

I'm still thinking that the sponsored article on April 1st was a joke. Maybe even an April Fools joke in taking money for this movie and STILL giving it a terrible review.

 

[Pyrian]

You reviewed this dreck and no mention of Ex Machina? C'mon, know your audience.

 

[Marter]

You reviewed this dreck and no mention of Ex Machina? C'mon, know your audience.

Full review next week when it's in wide release. 3 wide releases this week means they get priority over something that's in 30 theaters (and won't even be out in my city until May 8th!).

 

[Pyrian]

You reviewed this dreck and no mention of Ex Machina? C'mon, know your audience.

Full review next week when it's in wide release. 3 wide releases this week means they get priority over something that's in 30 theaters (and won't even be out in my city until May 8th!).

Huh. My apologies. I didn't realize it was a small release.