Penny Arcades Gabe Apologizes

[StriderShinryu]

http://penny-arcade.com/2014/01/01/resolutions

"As a young person I imagined myself a sort of vengeful spirit. A schoolyard Robin Hood who attacked the strong and popular on behalf of the social outcasts. I?m 36 years old now though and I realize what I am is a bully."

----

Interesting stuff. I can definitely say that I see a little of myself in some of the things he says. I was never one who moved around a lot as a kid, but I absolutely was always one of the outcasts that got called out and picked on. I did have a few close friends that kept me grounded and I'm not sure what my perspective would have been had I not been in that fortunate position.

I also see a lot of value in what he says when viewing the gaming community (and the online community in general). There's a point where being picked on often does turn into acting out towards those around you. Simple trolling and joking easily becomes something more devious and dangerous. Some wise words, and I'm interested in seeing how everyone reacts.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

http://penny-arcade.com/2014/01/01/resolutions

"As a young person I imagined myself a sort of vengeful spirit. A schoolyard Robin Hood who attacked the strong and popular on behalf of the social outcasts. I?m 36 years old now though and I realize what I am is a bully."

----

Interesting stuff. I can definitely say that I see a little of myself in some of the things he says. I was never one who moved around a lot as a kid, but I absolutely was always one of the outcasts that got called out and picked on. I did have a few close friends that kept me grounded and I'm not sure what my perspective would have been had I not been in that fortunate position.

I also see a lot of value in what he says when viewing the gaming community (and the online community in general). There's a point where being picked on often does turn into acting out towards those around you. Simple trolling and joking easily becomes something more devious and dangerous. Some wise words, and I'm interested in seeing how everyone reacts.

A little context would be nice. What is he apologizing for?

Also something that he wrote in there struck a cord with me, that the association with Penny Arcade would be hurting the Child's Play charity. What a sour taste that is, that PR Bullshit, "We don't appreciate what you do so were turning down what little good you're trying to do."

It's like, past October the pornsite XHamster was trying to raise money for breast cancer, and the Susan organization turned them down. Like fuck you, ya know? Is it about solving breast cancer or is it about the PR one gets donating the money to fight cancer... but then again millions of dollars of these charities go back to administrative costs, it's all about the money.

 

[EternallyBored]

http://penny-arcade.com/2014/01/01/resolutions

"As a young person I imagined myself a sort of vengeful spirit. A schoolyard Robin Hood who attacked the strong and popular on behalf of the social outcasts. I?m 36 years old now though and I realize what I am is a bully."

----

Interesting stuff. I can definitely say that I see a little of myself in some of the things he says. I was never one who moved around a lot as a kid, but I absolutely was always one of the outcasts that got called out and picked on. I did have a few close friends that kept me grounded and I'm not sure what my perspective would have been had I not been in that fortunate position.

I also see a lot of value in what he says when viewing the gaming community (and the online community in general). There's a point where being picked on often does turn into acting out towards those around you. Simple trolling and joking easily becomes something more devious and dangerous. Some wise words, and I'm interested in seeing how everyone reacts.

A little context would be nice. What is he apologizing for?

Also something that he wrote in there struck a cord with me, that the association with Penny Arcade would be hurting the Child's Play charity. What a sour taste that is, that PR Bullshit, "We don't appreciate what you do so were turning down what little good you're trying to do."

It's like, past October the pornsite XHamster was trying to raise money for breast cancer, and the Susan organization turned them down. Like fuck you, ya know? Is it about solving breast cancer or is it about the PR one gets donating the money to fight cancer... but then again millions of dollars of these charities go back to administrative costs, it's all about the money.

It's sounds like he's reminiscing on the past blowups that happened with the strip. More specifically, things like the transgender comments he made that got him some hate mail, then he lashed out against that hate mail, which got him more hate mail, there's been a couple incidents, mostly as he says in this particular post, he seems to have trouble restraining himself from responding to criticism with attacks of his own. Basically he has a problem letting any sort of attack against him go without a response, and in many cases that response tends to involve escalating crude humor.

As for that "PR Bullshit", in an ideal world, it would work that way, and charities would be grateful for any donations, this is reality though, and that's not how things work here. Although, in this particular case, the Penny Arcade guys helped start the Child's Play charity, and willingly distanced themselves from it to prevent losing donations from outside sources, they did it to help their own charity, as was mentioned in the article, they had people donating to different charities rather than them because the charity was viewed as closely connected to the Penny Arcade Comic.

As for the XHamster thing, it is about solving cancer, the Susan G. Komen foundation had to choose between accepting the money directly from a porn site, and lose 10 times that amount in other organizations pulling out their support (largely Religious organizations, and single trust fund backers), or reject the donation in order to maintain their larger backers. With many non-profits and charities, companies and notable individuals attach their public image and name to charity organizations in order to garner support, XHamster choosing to use the actual domain name rather than a pseudonym or intermediary would mean the Komen foundation would then be required to attach that porn sites name next to its other backers. The foundation made the smart financial move that would lose them less money, and rejected the donation, it's not as uncommon as you might think. If the people who run the porn site want to actually help fund cancer research they are still perfectly capable of doing so through intermediaries that won't end up with a porn website listed in a charity database for the public to view. You may not care, but many backers and organizations do, especially religious organizations, there are thousands of charities and non-profits to choose from for almost any issue, so those major backers will gladly take their money to another charity, rather than see their name or organization listed next to a porn website.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Hmmm...in of itself, fairly meaningless. If he were to back this up by changing how he acts in future, however...

 

[Kyrian007]

That was an amazing read. Escapists, I'd like to confess something as well.

I was the other kind of bully.

I was the jock that ran with the popular preppy crowd and stuffed "nerds" into lockers. I made jokes at the expense of people not "as popular" as me, and was someone who constantly "tore someone down" as opposed to helping anyone. Not wishing to unfairly stereotype anyone here (after all I'm an Escapist all the way back to 2010 and before) but I'm sure I was exactly the kind of person most of you hated most during your own school days (or do for our younger friends.) I was exactly the kind of person who would have wound up fighting with Gabe.

I changed, for the better. For one, I have a lot more fun now. I like reading sci-fi/fantasy, watching anime, playing video games (and not just brogamer stuff,) and cosplaying at cons. For two, (and more importantly) my friends are better people than my former ones. I'm so proud of everything they've accomplished and am humbled that they chose to accept me. For the benefit (I hope) of anyone who can identify with the type of person Gabe says he is and wants to change... I say 2 things.

You're better than I was. You were fighting to hang on to your last bit of self-esteem... I was trampling other's to maintain my own. And worse, I teaming up with others bent on doing the same thing when often you were fighting alone.

And if you, like Gabe, want to change to be something better and more positive. It won't be easy. You have to give up a lot of resentment and pent-up rage. Rage and resentment that me or someone like me helped put there. I'm sorry. I had an easier path to change. Anything good I did, any person I helped along the way, made me better than I was. Changing is easy when you realize anything is better than what you were and represented. So in hopes it makes it easier for you... look back a paragraph. You may want to change, and that is very commendable, but you are better than they are. Stronger. Smarter. You can do it.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

http://penny-arcade.com/2014/01/01/resolutions

"As a young person I imagined myself a sort of vengeful spirit. A schoolyard Robin Hood who attacked the strong and popular on behalf of the social outcasts. I?m 36 years old now though and I realize what I am is a bully."

----

Interesting stuff. I can definitely say that I see a little of myself in some of the things he says. I was never one who moved around a lot as a kid, but I absolutely was always one of the outcasts that got called out and picked on. I did have a few close friends that kept me grounded and I'm not sure what my perspective would have been had I not been in that fortunate position.

I also see a lot of value in what he says when viewing the gaming community (and the online community in general). There's a point where being picked on often does turn into acting out towards those around you. Simple trolling and joking easily becomes something more devious and dangerous. Some wise words, and I'm interested in seeing how everyone reacts.

Just read it. Admirable sentiments and it feels sincere. This is the kind of self-realiziation that can be incredibly hard to come to (indeed, a great many people stop well short of it), let alone share in a public forum. So, kudos to him.

The dynamic of "bullied nerd turns into bully adult" is one I've seen play out a great many times, both in the community in general and in my personal acquaintances. I'd go so far as to say it's something of an epidemic. Gabe coming clean like this probably won't help that much, but it's a step in the right direction.

 

[Something Amyss]

Words can be fairly meaningless, and while I'm sure these are heartfelt at the moment, I wonder if they will last.

This is the guy who said within a few days' time that he wanted PAX to be a safe place, and then told people if they weren't okay with his attitude they could leave. Either is fine on its own, but the two are sort of hypocritical. Mike's apologised before, and I'm betting he'll keep doing so. But will he actually do anything about it?

It's like, past October the pornsite XHamster was trying to raise money for breast cancer, and the Susan organization turned them down. Like fuck you, ya know? Is it about solving breast cancer or is it about the PR one gets donating the money to fight cancer... but then again millions of dollars of these charities go back to administrative costs, it's all about the money.

I just want to point out that the Susan G Komen foundation is pretty shitty. I mean, fighting breast cancer is a good thing, but they've been mired in all sorts of crap over the years and they rarely look good for it. This isn't the first time they've refused a donation, and they've cut off support for some dumb reasons in the past.

They are, however, the biggest and most noteworthy charity. Hopefully Xhamster delivered the donations elsewhere.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

http://penny-arcade.com/2014/01/01/resolutions

"As a young person I imagined myself a sort of vengeful spirit. A schoolyard Robin Hood who attacked the strong and popular on behalf of the social outcasts. I?m 36 years old now though and I realize what I am is a bully."

----

Interesting stuff. I can definitely say that I see a little of myself in some of the things he says. I was never one who moved around a lot as a kid, but I absolutely was always one of the outcasts that got called out and picked on. I did have a few close friends that kept me grounded and I'm not sure what my perspective would have been had I not been in that fortunate position.

I also see a lot of value in what he says when viewing the gaming community (and the online community in general). There's a point where being picked on often does turn into acting out towards those around you. Simple trolling and joking easily becomes something more devious and dangerous. Some wise words, and I'm interested in seeing how everyone reacts.

A little context would be nice. What is he apologizing for?

Also something that he wrote in there struck a cord with me, that the association with Penny Arcade would be hurting the Child's Play charity. What a sour taste that is, that PR Bullshit, "We don't appreciate what you do so were turning down what little good you're trying to do."

It's like, past October the pornsite XHamster was trying to raise money for breast cancer, and the Susan organization turned them down. Like fuck you, ya know? Is it about solving breast cancer or is it about the PR one gets donating the money to fight cancer... but then again millions of dollars of these charities go back to administrative costs, it's all about the money.

It's sounds like he's reminiscing on the past blowups that happened with the strip. More specifically, things like the transgender comments he made that got him some hate mail, then he lashed out against that hate mail, which got him more hate mail, there's been a couple incidents, mostly as he says in this particular post, he seems to have trouble restraining himself from responding to criticism with attacks of his own. Basically he has a problem letting any sort of attack against him go without a response, and in many cases that response tends to involve escalating crude humor.

As for that "PR Bullshit", in an ideal world, it would work that way, and charities would be grateful for any donations, this is reality though, and that's not how things work here. Although, in this particular case, the Penny Arcade guys helped start the Child's Play charity, and willingly distanced themselves from it to prevent losing donations from outside sources, they did it to help their own charity, as was mentioned in the article, they had people donating to different charities rather than them because the charity was viewed as closely connected to the Penny Arcade Comic.

As for the XHamster thing, it is about solving cancer, the Susan G. Komen foundation had to choose between accepting the money directly from a porn site, and lose 10 times that amount in other organizations pulling out their support (largely Religious organizations, and single trust fund backers), or reject the donation in order to maintain their larger backers. With many non-profits and charities, companies and notable individuals attach their public image and name to charity organizations in order to garner support, XHamster choosing to use the actual domain name rather than a pseudonym or intermediary would mean the Komen foundation would then be required to attach that porn sites name next to its other backers. The foundation made the smart financial move that would lose them less money, and rejected the donation, it's not as uncommon as you might think. If the people who run the porn site want to actually help fund cancer research they are still perfectly capable of doing so through intermediaries that won't end up with a porn website listed in a charity database for the public to view. You may not care, but many backers and organizations do, especially religious organizations, there are thousands of charities and non-profits to choose from for almost any issue, so those major backers will gladly take their money to another charity, rather than see their name or organization listed next to a porn website.

I mean that's still entirely my point though, the fact that they'd would compromise the goal .... Either of them really, Komen or the other backers. Is it about fighting breast cancer or is it about making people KNOW your fighting breast cancer. One's admirable, the other is repugnant.

GLADD is another organization that I know of to compromise their "goals" in the sake of publicity. The way they treat author Bret Easton Ellis, or how they extorted money out of Kevin Smith so they wouldn't protest all the gay jokes in Jay & Bob: Strike Back. You'd think if the gay rights actually mattered they wouldn't be paid off but there you go.

So why bother donate to charity then and worth through organizations that are all about bullying and making money? I've gone off on a thread derailing tangent but it really burns me up.

 

[Eamar]

Hmmm...in of itself, fairly meaningless. If he were to back this up by changing how he acts in future, however...

Agreed.

It's nice to see, I guess, but as someone who's personally felt very uncomfortable giving PA traffic, and even thought twice about supporting Child's Play on account of some of the stuff he's come out with, I have to say I'll believe it when I see it reflected in his behaviour.

Here's hoping, though, and good luck to him.

 

[thehermit2]

I've been bullied and I've been a bully. I barely remember being bullied, but I am haunted by the times I bullied others. One of those annoying traits of human nature that occasionally crops up is that when you perceive someone as stronger than yourself you may try to emulate that person, whether consciously or subconsciously. As you grow older your perception of strength changes, and you may question those behaviors that you felt made you strong.

 

[Something Amyss]

GLADD is another organization that I know of to compromise their "goals" in the sake of publicity. The way they treat author Bret Easton Ellis, or how they extorted money out of Kevin Smith so they wouldn't protest all the gay jokes in Jay & Bob: Strike Back. You'd think if the gay rights actually mattered they wouldn't be paid off but there you go.

They weren't paid off; the money they "extorted" from Kevin Smith went to a charity, a third party, and the only "benefit" they directly received was mention in the credits of the film. The outrage over them taking money or whatever is unjustified.

I would also find it particularly weird that GLAAD would be so willing to work with the WWE but not Kevin Smith. It doesn't pass the smell test.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

GLADD is another organization that I know of to compromise their "goals" in the sake of publicity. The way they treat author Bret Easton Ellis, or how they extorted money out of Kevin Smith so they wouldn't protest all the gay jokes in Jay & Bob: Strike Back. You'd think if the gay rights actually mattered they wouldn't be paid off but there you go.

They weren't paid off; the money they "extorted" from Kevin Smith went to a charity, a third party, and the only "benefit" they directly received was mention in the credits of the film. The outrage over them taking money or whatever is unjustified.

I would also find it particularly weird that GLAAD would be so willing to work with the WWE but not Kevin Smith. It doesn't pass the smell test.

They were paid off, Zach.

Homeboys were like "Were going to ***** about the movie you're making unless you give us money... if you give us money, make all the gay jokes you want." Which really, doesn't that go against the entire spirit of the organization? Shouldn't it be... Ya know, "No, we don't want money Mr. Smith, we want the cock sucking jokes out of the film?"

and Ha... Yes, the fact that they endorsed the Billy/Chuck wedding angle... I mean they didn't give a damn enough to actually pay attention to the fact that Billy/Chuck were bad guys who's ambiguous homosexuality was one of the major reasons they got any heat. Or that WWE pulled "Hot Lesbian Action" angle in the lead up to the gay marriage. The entire thing had farce written all over it.

To be fair, with WWE no matter what GLADD did it was only going to benefit WWE. With Kevin Smith, they're negative publicity could of legit hurt the movie's opening... And it's a Kev Smith film so it already had the whole world fighting against it. .

 

[Amir Kondori]

What a real piece of open and honest writing. Refreshing to read. He didn't release it immediately after a controversy, in fact the only big controversies that got any press, well gaming journalism press, are maybe half a year ago?

You know those apologies people make when they get caught saying something stupid and terrible, like "nappy headed hoes" or the guy who plays Kramer said the N-word? Those apologies where you can tell the person making them just wants to get this over with and get on with their life.

This read as the exact opposite. I know there will be many doubters, that is what people do, especially on the internet. I don't know if he will change any of his behaviors. But I was move by what I read there.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Sounds legit. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Something Amyss]

They were paid off, Zach.

No, they weren't. You're rationalising. Working backward from a conclusion and trying to frame things in a way that supports it.

and Ha... Yes, the fact that they endorsed the Billy/Chuck wedding angle... I mean they didn't give a damn enough to actually pay attention to the fact that Billy/Chuck were bad guys who's ambiguous homosexuality was one of the major reasons they got any heat. Or that WWE pulled "Hot Lesbian Action" angle in the lead up to the gay marriage. The entire thing had farce written all over it.

Well, I wasn't talking about that, but the fact that they were willing to work with WWE after that should be even more telling.

Or we can ignore that and assume they're just a political organisation out to make money. But then, wouldn't WWE both be an obvious target and a cash cow at this point?

 

[Something Amyss]

Let's just say, Gabe's realization that he's a bully is not news to everyone.

I wonder if it'll make anyone reflect, though. I don't think it's the people who know he's a bully who need to hear it the most.

That being said, I don't want to give them my money because Mike's a pretty big douchebag. This doesn't impact my thoughts on Child's Play, though.

 

[lord.jeff]

I read the title and my first thought was what'd he do this time? It's good to see that he wants to take steps to better himself and I wish him success in his venture.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

They were paid off, Zach.

No, they weren't. You're rationalising. Working backward from a conclusion and trying to frame things in a way that supports it.

and Ha... Yes, the fact that they endorsed the Billy/Chuck wedding angle... I mean they didn't give a damn enough to actually pay attention to the fact that Billy/Chuck were bad guys who's ambiguous homosexuality was one of the major reasons they got any heat. Or that WWE pulled "Hot Lesbian Action" angle in the lead up to the gay marriage. The entire thing had farce written all over it.

Well, I wasn't talking about that, but the fact that they were willing to work with WWE after that should be even more telling.

Or we can ignore that and assume they're just a political organisation out to make money. But then, wouldn't WWE both be an obvious target and a cash cow at this point?

Aren't they both?

WWE is doing a whole Anti-Bullying campaign, and then Vince gets on TV and mocks JR's bell palsy.