Ok i didn't know what title to put as i am in bit of an emotional state right now and don't want to ruin anyone's day with it. This isn't the sort of thing that i feel comfortable asking here, but it is a while till my next appointment and isolation is making things much worse, alongside various other growing factors, it feels like a sharp decline recently and nothing i try seems to make it better or bring any joy whatsoever. Been trying to go outside, but burst into tears at the slightest hint of an emotional though/sound/sight and it doesn't stop like the average cry does. It goes on and sometimes i find myself making a whimper noise out of helplessness. Alcohol does nothing but make it worse, i refuse to go down the pathways i used before to soften the blow. Am trying to get over this to live a normal life again, but all my ambitions have disappeared along with self belief. I never thought it could get this bad for an invisible illness and speaking about it makes me feel like people will think i am an attention seeker, isolating me further.
Basically, this is more of a desperate plea for some advice and what can stop this heavy pain. In the past i would have done anything to make this go away, but now i am trying to deal with it responsibly, it has got a bit more complicated and when i sit down to do any work, my brain decides to start thinking of bad memories which snowball quickly. Before this turns into a repeatative incomprehensable ramble, i should get to the point. Has anyone any tips on getting the mind out of these horrible loops? Recently i have felt no desire even for games/films/music. It is almost like my soul has died, i needed that passion for a lot of life. I really need it back as it is my only drive. Has anyone any experience with this? I am makimg an emergency appointment with Dr tomorrow either way, it is a secret hell to feel this way. Sorry for rambling on and sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it is tricky to remain composed for such accuracy, especially on a phone. Thankyou for reading anyhow, if you did make the mistake of clicking the spoiler warning.
Basically, this is more of a desperate plea for some advice and what can stop this heavy pain. In the past i would have done anything to make this go away, but now i am trying to deal with it responsibly, it has got a bit more complicated and when i sit down to do any work, my brain decides to start thinking of bad memories which snowball quickly. Before this turns into a repeatative incomprehensable ramble, i should get to the point. Has anyone any tips on getting the mind out of these horrible loops? Recently i have felt no desire even for games/films/music. It is almost like my soul has died, i needed that passion for a lot of life. I really need it back as it is my only drive. Has anyone any experience with this? I am makimg an emergency appointment with Dr tomorrow either way, it is a secret hell to feel this way. Sorry for rambling on and sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it is tricky to remain composed for such accuracy, especially on a phone. Thankyou for reading anyhow, if you did make the mistake of clicking the spoiler warning.
TLR... Any advice on making oneself feel better in times of seemingly helpless sadness and fear? I do usually a lot of creative hobbies but cannot start on anything alone without the brain automatically going to dark places. It feels like it is physically degrading me now. Sorry for this pointless ramble, but thankyou for your time, either way. (I don't appear to get notifications for posts on these, so apologies for sporadic gaps between replies).