Phrases That Indicate Something That Will Make You Mad.

[Scarim Coral]

Let's see-

Mum "I need to look/ search for..." (anything computer related). She always come in bad timing like when I'm gaming to look for something online like some postcode or some online form. This take bloody ages as she read throught it instead of the specific page area! Such a waste of my time!

Any one of my family member "Have you try/ search/ apply for?". I'm so tried how my family can act like a bad job agency! I am capable of looking at a job myself thank you and you pestering me is not helping!

Also from anyone of my family "You should go out...". I don't give a danm that I'm not an social butterfly and outgoing like my bro. I'm perfectly fine that I'm antisocial reject who want to be shut in all the time and it's not a form of an outcry. I am in control of my social life and it is only I myself that actually want to change his lifestyle not them nor will I ever changed to pleaed them!!!

Bro "Have you thought about". Yeah my bro can shut it!!! He has no idea how lucky he was at getting a job right after Uni while I am in the recession generation therefor he can never try to understand me. Yes my current situation is not my ideal outlook but as someone said, you have to make the best of it!

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

"Can you show me how to use _____________"

Usually related to computers, a new tablet, printer, a smart phone, camera, some other piece of technology; just because I can use my computer in a way that looks like I know what I'm doing doesn't mean I'm a technological wizard that shares a magic connection with all things electronic.

On the same note...

"Can you fix ___________ for me?"
"My __________ isn't working"

I'm not your free tech support, you can learn how to do it the same way I did, I have faith in you.

 

[SeanSeanston]

Ooh, I just thought of one:
"Rape culture".

How deep in how many layers of deluded narcissistic ****wittery and conspiracy theory must someone be to talk about "rape culture"?

It doesn't even mean anything; it's just people trying to fabricate an elaborate conspiracy and a thing that doesn't exist to exploit a problem that does exist for their own political agenda.

 

[deleted_by_strongbad]

So these are less things I hear verbatim and more the implied or summarized statements, but same principle.

"So I know you said x [requires y|should not be used for z|will cause problems if given a|etc] but..."

or

"So that thing you said conditionally wouldn't be a problem, we ignored those conditions, and..."

 

[Sleepy Sol]

What ___ next will ___ you. And other typical clickbait articles that litter the internet and go viral for whatever reason. Luckily, I can kind of ignore that manner of crap pretty easily. But when I see those sorts of articles linked on FB by not-friend (acquaintance) friends I just have to roll my eyes.

Having a hard time picturing the click bait you are referimg to and as a fellow hater of click bait bullshit that surprises me. couple of examples plix

Try looking at sites like Buzzfeed or Clickhole and look at the general headlines? Buzzfeed probably isn't as horribly awful as the example of the wording I gave, but it's got plenty of stuff that seems designed to incite reactionary responses. Or just plain internet cliche article titles.

 

[Queen Michael]

"[Verb] yourself [adjective]!" Way too common in Swedish tabloid papers and women's magazines. Like "Sit yourself thin!" or "Walk yourself happy!" or "Euthanize yourself incontinent!"

 

[Barbas]

"To be fair..." Unless you're going to follow that with something interesting and entertaining enough to read, like "...sometimes I just like to stick things in my ass", you can probably assume I have stopped listening at this point.

"I like/love how..." Do you really? I had no idea. Shall I do it again, then? Yes, several more times sounds good.

What ___ next will ___ you. And other typical clickbait articles that litter the internet and go viral for whatever reason. Luckily, I can kind of ignore that manner of crap pretty easily. But when I see those sorts of articles linked on FB by not-friend (acquaintance) friends I just have to roll my eyes.

I'd be tempted to read it if the writer had a breakdown and decided to substitute the usual title for "What goddamn next will fuck you".

 

[viscomica]

"Are you busy?" If you had to ask then yes, I was.
"Do you want my opinion?" Didn't ask for it, but go ahead.
And I absolutely hate when people ask "are you pmsing / on your period?" assuming that just because you are angry it just means either one of the two or that you're hungry.

 

[Johnny Impact]

"You just need to ______." This applies whenever it's used, but when it's a response to me telling folks I don't date......die. Just die.

Why it's infuriating: My sister, happily married for 12 years, doesn't need me or anyone to tell her that her spectacular good fortune is "just a patch, it'll be over someday." Even if that were true it would be rude to say it. I have a friend who's only attracted to psycho bitches. I would never casually tell him to simply change his preference, like it's a switch he can flip. How arrogant, right? How presumptuous, how dismissive, how impossibly complicated to dictate the terms of someone else's love life! And yet everybody is fine with playing counselor, disregarding every experience I've ever had as "just bad luck," throwing out trite one-liners as if that will fix everything. Only maybe 30% of the people I know have happy relationships. The successful ones should be smart enough to know that what works for them doesn't necessarily work for anyone else. The unsuccessful ones should know to keep their fucking traps shut about things they fail at. I already know how to fail, and no one can tell me how to succeed. I've dealt with this crap for longer than I dealt with women.

"Blah blah mind-blowing blah blah clickbait." Oh, thanks for lying about the subject of the article. I'll be sure not to go to your site ever again.

"That comment is highly offensive to the _____ community" and other SJW crap. Couple things:
1) If I offend someone, it means they listen. Listening to the other guy is part of civilized conversation. Unfortunately it's the only part SJWs get right.
2) If they disagree, the proper response would be to defeat my statement with reason. Righteous indignation, hurling Googled statistics, straw man arguments, ad hominem, and tu quoque are not reason.
3) Nobody has the right never to be offended. Go ahead and tell me I'm insensitive. All I will ever have to do is fire back that you're too sensitive. The best part is I'm right. Being a SJW means you are regularly deeply offended by casual comments made by total strangers on the Internet. This indicates an irrational inability to accept disagreement and move on, which is a hallmark of immature minds everywhere.
4) Don't waste your time chasing me for an apology. You won't get one. I use words that are real. I don't do bullshit. I don't do touchy-feely. I don't dress things up in euphemisms. I'm not going to start just because you're thin-skinned.

 

[Barbas]

"[Verb] yourself [adjective]!" Way too common in Swedish tabloid papers and women's magazines. Like "Sit yourself thin!" or "Walk yourself happy!" or "Euthanize yourself incontinent!"

It's never anything interesting like "Wank yourself unapproachable!"

Oh well...

Spoiler: At least The Onion understands the ranting darkness in me.

 

[sageoftruth]

"Please don't hurt me, I have a _______"

I don't care, why are you telling me? I didn't ask about your life, geez.

I'm confused. Why would anyone say that unless you were holding them up with a gun or a knife in a shady back alley?

 

[sageoftruth]

Anything with "Sheeple" or "Butthurt" in it.

The first implies that I'm speaking to a "special snowflake" who thinks conformity is the only reason people don't conform to his style of behavior.

The second implies that I'm speaking with either a troll or a supporter of troll culture.

 

[FPLOON]

"You need to [insert action that's subjective anyway] because [reason(s)]..."

Why are you telling me how I should live my life, huh? What if I don't want to be part of the majority that does this? This goes double (even triple) if absolutely no one is, was, or even will get hurt because I going against the majority and shit... What are "you" my mother?

 

[lechat]

What ___ next will ___ you. And other typical clickbait articles that litter the internet and go viral for whatever reason. Luckily, I can kind of ignore that manner of crap pretty easily. But when I see those sorts of articles linked on FB by not-friend (acquaintance) friends I just have to roll my eyes.

Having a hard time picturing the click bait you are referimg to and as a fellow hater of click bait bullshit that surprises me. couple of examples plix

The kind of title like "This person tried to rob a store. What happened next will shock you". One of many ways to get me to block your site on facebook. But, I think the most annoying has to be "doctors hate this one weird trick that cures cancer".

Argh should have known that, It's my least favorite after "you won't believe these 20 _____. number 5 is my favorite"
I have literally blocked sites on facebook and deleted sites on flipboard because of this.