Pick a useless super power

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Asmundr

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Mar 17, 2010
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The ability to control paper but it remains with all the properties of paper, gains nothing special beyond me controlling it, and if I try to write on any form of paper with ink it instantly turns to ash.

Good for some things but I can't fill out many forms or label my property. I also can't do the assignments giving out by my professors now.
 

SD-Fiend

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Nov 24, 2009
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Asmundr said:
The ability to control paper but it remains with all the properties of paper, gains nothing special beyond me controlling it, and if I try to write on any form of paper with ink it instantly turns to ash.

Good for some things but I can't fill out many forms or label my property. I also can't do the assignments giving out by my professors now.
Sounds pretty useful aside from the ink thing. 10 tons of paper is still 10 tons of paper.
 

Thereisbearcum

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Mar 10, 2013
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The ability to turn Aubergines into Eggplants. Just think of the possibilities!
If that is too great a power, I would definitely take on the abilities of my favourite Unskippable hero, Running Away Man.
 

TheSear

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Oct 3, 2008
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I have to go with the one from mystery men - being able to turn invisible, but only if nobody is looking at me
 

42Weasels

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Oct 26, 2012
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Immunity to paper cu- no that's overpowered....

The ability to understand, but not talk to, small dogs. "Hey, Listen!"
 

Catrixa

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May 21, 2011
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The ability to flatten any carbonated beverage instantly, or the power to change any Google ad from something I own to something I don't own, but might be interested in (I'm seriously tired of seeing video game ads for games I already own and play).
 

Tropicaz

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Aug 7, 2012
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I would like the power to make sure I always had just enough milk in the house for a tea. That would make me happy.
 

Ryan Hughes

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Jul 10, 2012
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The ability to make my hair fall out and generate enough body heat to toast a bagel on my head.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am hungry for some reason. . .
 

E3137

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Feb 13, 2013
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The ability to turn other people's beards into sausages, but they're raw and every time you eat one, you get a hair in your mouth
Or, the ability to accurately and instantly count the amount of sheep there are in a field, but the field is on the other side of the world, and it can only happen when you've just woken up and aren't going back to sleep again...
 

Groxnax

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Apr 16, 2009
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The power to be invisible... but only when I'm hopping (or jumping) around with high heel women shoes on.
 

Groxnax

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Apr 16, 2009
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The ability to shoot lightning out of my hands... after rubbing my feet on a carpet for an hour.

The ability to go one hour into the future but then I will have to go back one day in time... and thanks to the randomness of time the events of the day will not be the same.

The ability to use a random character's (from games, movies, books)abilities, but only when you are asleep.
 

HavoK 09

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Apr 1, 2010
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i got the mighty power of peeling potatoes with my thumbs, this will certainly change the world forever!
 

wurrble182

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Jul 20, 2010
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the ability to change a AAA battery to a AA battery

the ability to make fart smells erupt from my fingertips

the ability to turn edam into cheddar

the ability to suddenly have no legs

the ability to untie shoelaces at will

the ability to seduce clocks

the ability to reconstruct a cracked egg

also, i have inadvertently discovered the greatest power ever known to mankind. the ability to suddenly be having sex with any celebrity of your choice.
 

wurrble182

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Jul 20, 2010
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the abillity to always see shoes when your eyes are closed

the ability to always magnetically attract paperclips

the ability to instantly an infinite source of money, but only when moments from death
 

conmag9

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Aug 4, 2008
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The ability to conjure an angelic choir that sings whatever I just said in Latin.

Or maybe the ability to summon special effects freely. Not very useful, but my day would be more interesting.
 

Specimen-X

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Dec 7, 2011
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The power to instantly know how to use a remote when over at someone else's place. No more wondering where the volume buttons is or what that little blue buttons does. You are now master of remotes. You are: The Controller!