Pick a useless super power

[Vausch]

Having infinite, correct knowledge about every and any subject

but only on the Internet.

 

[mrhappy1489]

The power of having ridiculously fantastic hand writing in any language. Watch and be amazed as I write a's in any font, from helvetica to times new roman.

 

[introverted_surd]

A Mitchell and Webb sketch had a good one.
Telekenetic powers over biscuits and nothing else.

 

[Socius]

Hard choice I'd say but I'll have to either chose the abillity to turn cucumbers into pickles on touch, or the power to phase through unlocked doors.

 

[schiz0phren1c]

the ability to guess last week's lottery numbers.

 

[s0p0g]

the ability to remember every captcha i ever answered, do answer and will answer
captcha agrees and says: seems legit xD

Spoiler

That post is from April 2nd... how did you do that?

I would like the ability to fly up to two inches above the ground.

i have another useless superpower, which is to create forum posts from the future, in the future, but now... or something xD

edit: also, you and i are in the same time-zone; as the timestamp seems to be the local time it makes perfect sense

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

The ability to turn everything valuable like oil, precious metals, jewels etc. into dog shit. My superhero tag line would be taking down capitalism...one turd at a time.

Well, that sounds like
*puts on sunglasses*
a pretty shitty power

The ability to instantly grow my toenails by 200%.
The ability to instantly make things dirty after just having cleaned them up. Expect I can do that only to my own things.

 

[Kirchhoff42]

I will become invincible when no one is looking.

 

[thespyisdead]

hmmm... i want to have balls of steel! that way i can hurt people just by saying kick me in the balls! but only if they kick me

 

[Alluos]

The ability to melt butter with but a thought!
Although it could prove useful for getting into tight spaces... but otherwise not really.

 

[Not Matt]

i shall be...

Spoiler: *drum role*

[HEADING=1] CAPTAIN MEH[/HEADING]​

[HEADING=2]with the power to make people exceedingly bored .[/HEADING]​

Good for: making the villain so bored he abandons the evil plan and goes home.
alter ego: high school English teacher
my kryptonite: dinner parties

 

[DanielBrown]

Slight chance this has already been posted, but I'll throw it out here anyways:

I'll go with the 75% levitation ability. Gasp at my almost levitating powers!

 

[wintercoat]

I pick resistance to ice cream headaches! Villains beware! The Eye Screamer's days are numbered!

 

[A Weakgeek]

Making myself invisible. But only to myself, so everyone else could still see me.

 

[SonofaJohannes]

The power to control the shape of my shadow. Pretty useless, but it would keep me entertained for a while.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

The ability to skip any length of time where I would otherwise be doing some menial task or nothing important. In other words, all buses and trains come on time and I get home immediately. If I have something I want to do during that time, I can choose not to skip it.

Wasn't that the plot to the movie Click?

I wouldn't know, I didn't see it.

Having looked it up, no, the powers in that movie are far more broad and useful than merely skipping useless time.

 

[CriticalMiss]

The ability to sit comfortably for hours at a time!

 

[unindexedsearchengine]

I'd be a living. breathing key-gen. I could have online-passes for any game pop up in my head at will. One hitch, is that i can only "generate" codes that have already been redeemed/activated.

 

[byte4554_v1legacy]

Basically, pick a super power that would give you no quantifiable advantage over anyone else.

Personally, I'm torn between selective wiping of my own memory (I could rewatch or reread anything for the first time every time) or having theme music play in my head and the heads of those around me. With an addition of the "KO!" sound effect if I ever knocked someone out, and hit/combo counters visible.

That'd be awesome.

The theme song thing would be amazing, and the memory wiping thing...if anyone can actually do that (I'm sure that someone in the world can) then I'm pretty jealous. I'm a big reader, so that'd be pretty sweet.
As for mine, The ability to randomly turn things in to fine clothes, and garden and household tools and appliances...that vanish when sold or used by anyone they are not intended for. Oddly specific, I know, but pretty funny. Bam, your toilet is a top hat! Kapow, your laptop is a chainsaw! Shazam, your calendar is a George Foreman!

 

[byte4554_v1legacy]

The ability for everyone around me as well as myself to spontaneous bust into a musical number. I'm not gonna lie, I'd use it at least once at a convention - pony, video game, or otherwise.

That would actually be pretty sweet. The movie/play would practically write itself