Pick-Up lines!!!
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Excuse me, mam, but my dick just died. Would you mind if I bury it in your ass?
Do you sleep on your stomach? Do you mind if I do?
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
That's all I got.
Do you sleep on your stomach? Do you mind if I do?
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
That's all I got.
"Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up."
"Hey sexy I want you to have my kids, in fact you can have them right now they're in the car outside."
Only two I got that haven't been used already.
"Hey sexy I want you to have my kids, in fact you can have them right now they're in the car outside."
Only two I got that haven't been used already.
I think you stole that from "Doctor Who"zen5887 said:
My personal favorite is "Is it hot in here or is it just you?"
'I'm on a scavenger hunt and I need to find a used condom by noon tomorrow.'
'Did it hurt... when you fell from heaven?'
'Can you help me? I'm trying to think of a good pickup line.'
'You gave me wood. Would you like it back?' *brandishing a piece of wood is optional*
EDIT: 'Excuse me, young lady. Could I ask you, were we tortured and then burned at the stake as Agnostic Cathar Heretics by the Spanish Inquisition during intimately linked previous lives in the early 12th century?'
EDIT2: "You know what I've never been able to figure out?" "What?" "Your phone number."
'Did it hurt... when you fell from heaven?'
'Can you help me? I'm trying to think of a good pickup line.'
'You gave me wood. Would you like it back?' *brandishing a piece of wood is optional*
EDIT: 'Excuse me, young lady. Could I ask you, were we tortured and then burned at the stake as Agnostic Cathar Heretics by the Spanish Inquisition during intimately linked previous lives in the early 12th century?'
EDIT2: "You know what I've never been able to figure out?" "What?" "Your phone number."
"I lost a contact on my bed can you help me find it?"
"We've been together for years you dont have con..."
"JUST GET ON THE BED!"
Only one I used.
Or say in a deep voice,"SHOWUS YOUR TIIITS."
"We've been together for years you dont have con..."
"JUST GET ON THE BED!"
Only one I used.
Or say in a deep voice,"SHOWUS YOUR TIIITS."
HAHAHAHAHA! That made me laugh out loud. That's good. Very good.Joshy8632 said:
Okay, remembered a couple more:
1. Hey baby, did you push my power button 'cause your turning me on?
2. Hey baby, are you Egyptian 'cause you just erected my Obilesk?
3. Hey baby, are you sexy or am I just really horny?
4. You know, having sex burns fat, not that you need to.
5. I have this rash on my dick and my arms hurt, can you rub the lotion in for me?
And if you're a woman:
Is that a stack of pennies in your pockets or do you just want to come home with me?
Will post if I remember more.
"Want free tickets to the gun show (motion to arms)"
"Don't tell the cops, I don't have permits for these guns (motion to arms) "
"Is it ok for me to carry these pipes on the plane? (motion to arms)"
"Get in the trunk"
"Does this taste like roofie to you?"
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Don't tell the cops, I don't have permits for these guns (motion to arms) "
"Is it ok for me to carry these pipes on the plane? (motion to arms)"
"Get in the trunk"
"Does this taste like roofie to you?"
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I'ma fuck you with a rake."
I've never used that one, but I have told my friends, that are girls, that and they found it funny.
But all of the ones I can think of are already in use, and I don't wanna type repeats.
I've never used that one, but I have told my friends, that are girls, that and they found it funny.
But all of the ones I can think of are already in use, and I don't wanna type repeats.