PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds Developer Challenges Epic to Battle Royale

PsychicTaco115

I've Been Having These Weird Dreams Lately...
Legacy
Apr 10, 2020
5,950
14
13
Country
United States
PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds Developer Challenges Epic to Battle Royale

Taco News Network is where Buzzfeed goes to get sources for its Top Ten Lists. It's where Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olbermann come to discuss topics for their shows. It's where nightly news becomes nicotine for the everyman. We dig to find the truth where none may be and bring it out of the murk to you for your intellectual pleasure.

//cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/library/deriv/1425/1425334.jpgAfter firing the first shots, PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds developer Bluehole has challenged Epic Games to real battle royale combat to determine who will remain at the top of the leaderboard of the massive multiplayer battle arena genre.

The proposed game is simple: 50 employees of each company will fight to the death until one remains. Contestants will have weapons ranging from an empty soda can to a working replica of the Gears of War chaingun.The winning company will then get to keep their game while the other must take their game off the market and delete the source code.

"I think we've got a better chance than most give us credit for. Most of our staff have been trained to survive out in the wild if there was ever an apocalyptic event. I've never eaten the flesh of another man before but you bet your ass I'd do it for an event like this," said Fortnite director Darren Sugg.

Cliff Bleszinski, former design director at Epic, was unable to comment whether or not he would be able to be a participant. He has however tried to promote Lawbreakers during this ordeal, hoping to net a total of four new players to their player count.

Permalink
 

tippy2k2

Beloved Tyrant
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
14,027
913
118
Now I don't know the man and have no fact in this basis but Cliff Bleszinski seems like the kind of guy who would LOOOOOOVE to do a Battle Royale kind of thing.

I'm not sure why I think that. Maybe it's his name. His name sounds like the kind of name that would jump at the chance to fight a bunch of people to the death. I bet that's it...
 

vallorn

Tunnel Open, Communication Open.
Nov 18, 2009
2,307
0
0
cikame said:
I'm confused, is this fake news stuff supposed to be funny?
It's called satire, Fake News is what NewClassic posts.
 

JenSeven

Crazy person! Avoid!
Oct 19, 2010
695
0
0
cikame said:
I'm confused, is this fake news stuff supposed to be funny?
From those that have been posted in the news section, the trend indicates to no.
 

Squilookle

New member
Nov 6, 2008
3,590
0
0
Given that this is posted in the actual news room, I guess it's.... not meant to be funny?

Either way, they should just stop. This is utterly embarrassing for them.

This is not the Onion.
 

Neverhoodian

New member
Apr 2, 2008
3,832
0
0
Don't listen to the haters Taco. Keep doing your thing, I've got your back. Lord knows it's leagues better than the blatant ads that used to clog up the feed.



PsychicTaco115 said:
Cliff Bleszinski, former design director at Epic, was unable to comment whether or not he would be able to be a participant. He has however tried to promote Lawbreakers during this ordeal, hoping to net a total of four new players to their player count.
So...double the player base?
 
Aug 31, 2012
1,776
0
0
Keep it up Taco (I mean the articles, not your penis, do what you like with that) I got a chuckle out of that (only one, but it's a start). You listened to the criticisms and made this one gaming related. Jimquisition got a lot of shit at the start, he listened to (useful) criticism and it got a lot better.
 

Squilookle

New member
Nov 6, 2008
3,590
0
0
Hey I'd be fine with the article if it wasn't put in the news section. Either the news room is 100% satire or 0% satire.

You can't blur the lines on this one.
 

ineptelephant

New member
Sep 22, 2017
3
0
0
I didn't particularly feel the first two articles of this style, but I'm still smiling from this article as I type this. Good job.

And don't worry about the people telling you to stop altogether because they don't like it. People said the exact same thing about the Jimquisistion and that got significantly more appreciated (and in my opinion better) within just a few weeks. Keep at it and I feel this could be great.

I will be reading these articles even if the comment sections are 90% people failing to understand that humour is subjective.

Edit: desperate attempt to fix grammar.
 

Bindal

New member
May 14, 2012
1,320
0
0
Can we please leave the made-up non-sense out of the actual news section?

This is just sad, seriously. I come to the news section for NEWS - not unfunny fiction.

ineptelephant said:
And don't worry about the people telling you to stop altogether because they don't like it. People said the exact same thing about the Jimquisistion and that got significantly more appreciated (and in my opinion better) within just a few weeks. Keep at it and I feel this could be great.
There is a difference and it's a pretty important one: The Jimquisition NEVER tried to make anyone think that it's a 100% serious attempt at news by hiding in the news section where it doesn't belong.

This thing is not only not funny (which most people agree on), it's also where it doesn't belong.
The news section should exist for one thing and one thing only: Actual news. Not reposts of old content and not this "thing". Unless the entire website is decidated to this kind of humor (which, in case of the Escapist, it clearly is not).

So, in the future if they really want to keep this something to post, post it as blogpost, not as news.
 

JUMBO PALACE

Elite Member
Legacy
Jun 22, 2020
3,546
5
43
Country
USA
PsychicTaco115 said:
He has however tried to promote Lawbreakers during this ordeal, hoping to net a total of four new players to their player count.
Fucking savage dude.
 

CellShaded

New member
Aug 8, 2009
174
0
0
As funny as these TacoNews posts might be to a handful of you, they really don't belong in the News section. At all.