Poll: AM I WRONG FOR BEING ANGRY!!!! (UPDATED)

[twaddle]

okay i have given up making a name for myself on this account so i feel i can say anything.
Me and my gf have been dating for 3 years. I love her and care about her but were in college. Seperate University's to be exact.
So while on facebook i recently discovered that she went to a club. I'm cool with that, i go to clubs and pubs too. She was dancing. I'm fine wit that too. she was dancing with a guy. I'm not that ok with that but i'm not overreacting about it either.

She was bent over grinding her behind against his Crotch in a photo!
Okay. Line crossed. Now i'm pissed
I trust her, i love her with all my heart,i know she would never cheat on me, nor i to her.
I want to know if i'm justified in my anger. Am I? Tell me if i am or if i'm not and what i should say to her after we cool down. Were on spring break so we will be able to see each other and i don't want this getting in between us.

EDIT: She has just told me that the guy was gay and she wouldn't mind if i did it beacause she trust me just like i should trust her and it was nothing. I don't know how to respond at this when i call her back.

 

[zombiesinc]

Yes, you're justified in your frustration, but not necessarily how you may choose to deal with that towards her. Although she's done something I believe any partner would be upset about, you don't have the right to be rude or yell to her in response. Not saying you would, but that caps lock'd title makes me cringe.

Communicate with her, let her know how that made you feel, why you think she shouldn't do things like that, etc. I'm sure if you're mature, calm and straight-forward when you explain this she'll see where you're coming from, and refrain from such things in the future. If after your explanation she can't see where you're coming from and doesn't agree, then you'll have an issue. Hopefully it doesn't go that way. Best of luck.

 

[icame]

I vote maybe. I understand the annoyance of someone your in a relationship with hanging around with guys while your not around, but Remember that this annoyance can make you jump to conclusions. I'm not saying your wrong in being angry, certainly not. You just need to be calm and talk to her about, and explain your frustration. She will understand, if you 2 are as close as you say. Talk to her about the photo, and at least let her try to explain...Though i doubt theres much to explain.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

okay i have given up making a name for myself on this account so i feel i can say anything.
Me and my gf have been dating for 3 years. I love her and care about her but were in college. Seperate University's to be exact.
So while on facebook i recently discovered that she went to a club. I'm cool with that, i go to clubs and pubs too. She was dancing. I'm fine wit that too. she was dancing with a guy. I'm not that ok with that but i'm not overreacting about it either.

She was bent over grinding her behind against his Crotch in a photo!
Okay. Line crossed. Now i'm pissed
I trust her, i love her with all my heart,i know she would never cheat on me, nor i to her.
I want to know if i'm justified in my anger. Am I? Tell me if i am or if i'm not and what i should say to her after we cool down. Were on spring break so we will be able to see each other and i don't want this getting in between us.

Well, if you're not angry, your avatar sure is.

Don't think she would never cheat on you. If she crossed that line once, she might try again and go farther. You need to confront her about it and tell her how you feel. In a calm way, but confront her.

Believe me, as someone who has been cheated on in four out of the five relationships he's ever had, it sucks to get cheated on.

 

[Hollock]

the whole grinding dance style can kind of just happen, there's videos with toddlers doing it online. My point is, it's reached a point where it's not necessarily sexual. But you should tell her you saw them and weren't happy, but not furious. She might look at you like a puritan getting mad at seeing all these ladies gallyvantying about in pantaloons if ya catch my drift.

 

[Nerdygamer89]

okay i have given up making a name for myself on this account so i feel i can say anything.
Me and my gf have been dating for 3 years. I love her and care about her but were in college. Seperate University's to be exact.
So while on facebook i recently discovered that she went to a club. I'm cool with that, i go to clubs and pubs too. She was dancing. I'm fine wit that too. she was dancing with a guy. I'm not that ok with that but i'm not overreacting about it either.

She was bent over grinding her behind against his Crotch in a photo!
Okay. Line crossed. Now i'm pissed
I trust her, i love her with all my heart,i know she would never cheat on me, nor i to her.
I want to know if i'm justified in my anger. Am I? Tell me if i am or if i'm not and what i should say to her after we cool down. Were on spring break so we will be able to see each other and i don't want this getting in between us.

Definitely justified. That being said, the worst thing you can do is blow up at her about it. What I would do is ask how she would feel if you were to dance with another girl like that. Chances are, that's all you'll have to say to make your point.

 

[twaddle]

Definitely justified. That being said, the worst thing you can do is blow up at her about it. What I would do is ask how she would feel if you were to dance with another girl like that. Chances are, that's all you'll have to say to make your point.

she said she would not care because she trust me and i trust her. oh and she said the guy was gay

 

[Paksenarrion]

Post pictures of you grinding against Matt Damon, and sing the accompanying song.

 

[Nerdygamer89]

she said she would not care because she trust me and i trust her. oh and she said the guy was gay

There's your answer then. I'm slightly suspicious of any woman who would say they wouldn't care if their man got all "up close and personal" with another woman on the dance floor. But then, I don't know her.

 

[dmase]

Facebook is such a good thing. Check the tag on the photo of her, get the guys name and look on his facebook. Most people put their sexual preference just to make sure she isn't lieing, if she is, that trust is gone.

 

[ultrachicken]

I'm a bit suspicious of her saying that she'd be fine with you rubbing your junk on another girl's ass, but you know her better than I do.

 

[rutger5000]

Dude those are your feelings, you don't need to justify those. You do have to handle them maturely. Talk with her about it, don't be angry but just explain how you feel. Maybe apologize for sounding a bit jealous. You can't be angry though, in her eyes she didn't do anything wrong. The fact that it hurts you lies with you, it's not her fault. That doesn't mean that you can't talk about it. She should be considerate to your feelings, so if you don't like that sort of thing you could talk about it. Though yeah grinding doesn't mean anything, I only visited America once but even I know that.

 

[Random Encounter]

I feel your anger was justified. If she had seen you in a photo like that she would be equally angered.

 

[AnAngryMoose]

It doesn't matter if the guy was gay or not. That's just too fucking far. I know that I'd be livid if my girlfriend did that. I think your anger is completely justified, but don't flip out at her. You need to calmly (no shouting) tell her that it was completely out of order. Be stern, but not angry when you talk to her

 

[twaddle]

Yes, it is. Though you should talk to her about this, even if the guy is gay. It still irks you and causes frustration within you, and I believe you two should work that out as a couple. Discuss it and see where you both stand on it, and try to find an agreement. You are sure of her & she is sure of you, so I believe finding common ground here won't be difficult for you two. Just talk it out with her and see where you two are on the subject. You can go from there!

I hope this helps!

Dude those are your feelings, you don't need to justify those. You do have to handle them maturely. Talk with her about it, don't be angry but just explain how you feel. Maybe apologize for sounding a bit jealous. You can't be angry though, in her eyes she didn't do anything wrong. The fact that it hurts you lies with you, it's not her fault. That doesn't mean that you can't talk about it. She should be considerate to your feelings, so if you don't like that sort of thing you could talk about it. Though yeah grinding doesn't mean anything, I only visited America once but even I know that.

i feel you both are right. Her mom is going to pick her up tommorrow so i plan to swing by her home b4 she leaves and put a few mementos and gifts in her bed so when she gets home and walks in her room that will be the first thing she sees. Later, after i'm sure we have cooled down, i will try to get her to sit down and have a heart to heart discussion about things like this and i will also try to get to her school more often to see her. Thanks for the advice people.

 

[Zaverexus]

Regardless of the guy's sexuality that just something you don't do, out of respect for your significant other. And regardless of whether she would mind if you did it, it doesn't sound like you would do it, that's the difference.

 

[inquisiti0n]

I don't see how anyone can accuse you of overreacting when you haven't done anything. I mean, your post doesn't detail anything other than you being justifiably angry but it's not like you've yelled at her or smashed something.

Unless some people here consider an overreaction to be making a thread on an internet forum in caps lock...

 

[Sandernista]

I don't see how anyone can accuse you of overreacting when you haven't done anything. I mean, your post doesn't detail anything other than you being justifiably angry but it's not like you've yelled at her or smashed something.

Unless some people here consider an overreaction to be making a thread on an internet forum in caps lock...

I put maybe before even reading it, but I wish I could change it to no.

OT: Not at all, its definitely normal to be jealous and I think you're handling it very well!

 

[inquisiti0n]

btw i just realized the poll is wrongly worded.

It should be "Yes, Get over it" and "No, she crossed the line." As it is right now, it's just confusing.