Dreiko said:
Expecting a reward internally is fine, if you express that expectation then of course you're being rude and whatnot and that is an act that is worth judging but whatever hidden expectations people have in their hearts is their own business for as long as they act appropriately.
As someone who grew up in a super duper Christian country, I know the type of god fearing folk you mention. Thing is, as long as religion keeps em in check, it's better than the alternative of them going wild. Trust them or not, at least the harm they could be causing is minimized. This is the best we can hope for outside of mind-control and authoritarianism.
I do it because I find value in being nice, intrinsic value. It is basically a selfish act more so than one of empathy; I do not wish to lower myself and behaving according to every instinct one may have will inadvertently lower that person to that level. Of course I never even considered punching my friends, so it's easy for me to say since I had to expend no effort in being "not a shithead" but that doesn't make me any better of a person than someone who had the urge and suppressed it. Sometimes I also am annoying on purpose if it has more value, such as saying extremely bad puns and have people groan but then chuckle anyways. The value of comedy surpasses the "get out" response.
Classifying your better nature as inherently selfish motives rather than an empathetic, social drive strikes me as a very cynical, self-absorbed way of looking at human nature. Whatever happened to the sublime contentment of being a part of something bigger than yourself?
Besides, it still comes back to the fact that if you require a locked door to prevent you from coming in and stealing shit, if you will burglarize a house if the door is unlocked and you have a genuine shot at getting away with it, you're not a good or honest person. You're just a discreet breed of predator. Note, I'm using an impersonal form of "you" here.
What it comes down to is not whether or not you have a shadow. Everyone does and it's not a matter of suppressing it. By definition, that's what we do with our shadows. The question is why you choose not to act on it that says something about you. Your relationship with your shadow is based very much on how you feel about those dark thoughts swimming around in your imagination. The kind of person who only refrains from stealing a car because the door is locked still seems to think they're entitled to take somebody else's car and is thus the kind of person who is not to be trusted. Not saying it's easy to spot these people. But when you find you're dealing with one, get away while you have the chance.