Poll: Any Romantics out there?

[Dramatic Flare]

Nope, you're wrong. I would fuck or date none of my female acquaintances, excluding two. One of these is my ex, so I can't say I wouldn't fuck her because I have. The other one is one who has earned great respect with me and I am currently courting. I'll agree there are some I'd prefer to never talk too again, and this is mostly because they were a ***** when I was perfectly polite. I'm not polite all the time, not even close, but I know when I am and when I don't deserve harsh treatment.
And here's the problem with those three options: this isn't mind fucking. It's testing. Any psychologist will agree with me as well as my old ethics teacher, who was a woman that believed in the righteousness of the human spirit. This is something most women do regardless of whether they are are aware of it or not. If I was living somewhere near you, I would offer to go to a bar or some other place people go to get picked up/pick up with you and prove it. This even happens to me at my work, because it's the place I'm most confident it's the place I get the most attention from female coworkers or customers.
And the problem again is that men don't realize they are being tested, even if they have healthy levels of self-esteem. The whole "does this make me look fat?" is something that men just deal with, not something that makes them walk away instantly.

Well, I don't know what to say. Either you have had some bad experiences that have left you excessively bitter, or my life and my associates are the best the world has to offer.

Possibly a mixture of both. I'm just fed up with manipulation and, because of the way I act, every woman whom I meet thinks I'm a toy or a friend, but never a date. Gets old.

Sorry for the amount of bile in that last post. Given the chance, I'd take out maybe 10% of it.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

I'm about as unromantic as it gets, unfortunately. I can't stand seeing people do foolish things over chemical and hormonal imbalances they call "love." I'd rather keep my wits about me than do something stupid for love.

Plus, love puts the power to hurt you greatly in someone else's hands. I'd rather not make myself that venerable.

hate to break it to u man, but if u don't shoot u can't score, simple as that.

You don't understand his point. He does not want to score. He would rather keep his own mind working on his own stuff instead of trying to sort out someones elses life and his.

Nickname: Solid Snake attitude, Someone who gets their job done and worrys about screwing later. Non video game nickname would be someone who does not think with their penis.

 

[Easykill]

Peoples' obsession with sex disgusts me. I mean, it's great and all; but not worth the way people ignore their morals to get it. I've pretty much decided I will die without ever having a girlfriend. During the time I like someone, and my crushes usually last a few years, even if I know for sure it's pointless, will never go out with anyone else. The people I like aren't usually people I talk to on a regular basis, and I will not ask someone out who I do not really know, I lack the guts. Also, in order for me to like you, I need to at least be a bit attracted to you physically, and I will never, ever go out with an airhead or person I don't like much just for their body. Not much room left.

 

[Dapper Ninja]

I am a romantic, but I am incredibly hopeless for three reasons:

1. I am unbelievably socially awkward. Here's a conversation I recently had that resembles most others:
Girl: Hey.
Me: Huh? Oh. Uh... hey.
Girl: What's up?
Me: Huh? Oh. Um. Er. Uh... I'm... okay... I guess. (walks away awkwardly)

2. I lack the ability to start a conversation. Just about every time I speak to someone without them speaking to me first, everything I say comes out as barely distinguishable mumbles.

3. I rarely notice when someone is trying to be nice to me and I usually respond coldly, sometimes without even realising it until after I've said it.

Sometimes, I really hate being me.

 

[jockslap]

I am a romantic, but I am incredibly hopeless for three reasons:

1. I am unbelievably socially awkward. Here's a conversation I recently had that resembles most others:
Girl: Hey.
Me: Huh? Oh. Uh... hey.
Girl: What's up?
Me: Huh? Oh. Um. Er. Uh... I'm... okay... I guess. (walks away awkwardly)

2. I lack the ability to start a conversation. Just about every time I speak to someone without them speaking to me first, everything I say comes out as barely distinguishable mumbles.

3. I rarely notice when someone is trying to be nice to me and I usually respond coldly, sometimes without even realising it until after I've said it.

Sometimes, I really hate being me.

HAHAHA ur Julian! (Julian is my friend, the dude is like the murmer master, we where joking around and decided if he was being mugged it would go something like: "gimme all ur money!"
"meh")

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

I am a romantic, but I am incredibly hopeless for three reasons:

1. I am unbelievably socially awkward. Here's a conversation I recently had that resembles most others:
Girl: Hey.
Me: Huh? Oh. Uh... hey.
Girl: What's up?
Me: Huh? Oh. Um. Er. Uh... I'm... okay... I guess. (walks away awkwardly)

2. I lack the ability to start a conversation. Just about every time I speak to someone without them speaking to me first, everything I say comes out as barely distinguishable mumbles.

3. I rarely notice when someone is trying to be nice to me and I usually respond coldly, sometimes without even realising it until after I've said it.

Sometimes, I really hate being me.

I would so take that instead of my incredibly deep voice. If I do not speak loud enough its really hard to distinguish what I say. Getting teased through all of middle school and I bet high school too. I sound like a grown ass man lol.

My conversation skills usually involved snide remarks which then leads to a conversation which I have no part in.

 

[jockslap]

I am a romantic, but I am incredibly hopeless for three reasons:

1. I am unbelievably socially awkward. Here's a conversation I recently had that resembles most others:
Girl: Hey.
Me: Huh? Oh. Uh... hey.
Girl: What's up?
Me: Huh? Oh. Um. Er. Uh... I'm... okay... I guess. (walks away awkwardly)

2. I lack the ability to start a conversation. Just about every time I speak to someone without them speaking to me first, everything I say comes out as barely distinguishable mumbles.

3. I rarely notice when someone is trying to be nice to me and I usually respond coldly, sometimes without even realising it until after I've said it.

Sometimes, I really hate being me.

I would so take that instead of my incredibly deep voice. If I do not speak loud enough its really hard to distinguish what I say. Getting teased through all of middle school and I bet high school too. I sound like a grown ass man lol.

My conversation skills usually involved snide remarks which then leads to a conversation which I have no part in.

haha, they picked on you for having more balls? cuz im pretty sure that's what gives the deep voice. wish i had that "problem" as is im deep and nasal.

 

[Dapper Ninja]

HAHAHA ur Julian! (Julian is my friend, the dude is like the murmer master, we where joking around and decided if he was being mugged it would go something like: "gimme all ur money!"
"meh")

Coincidentally, I also have a friend by the same name like that. You're not me from an alternate universe/time, are you? I'll know if you are! I'm a terrible liar!

 

[Moira Mab]

(Not worth quoting all the quotes)

@"spreading her legs": No, you don't have to butter it up, but yes, it was incredibly foul. I take an offense to it because you made it sound like that's how all girls are, and that's a bunch of shite. There are some stupid, stupid girls out there who think that "The Hills" is really how life is, and they aren't worth even a little bit of your attention. If you honestly can't talk sense into this girl that you want but doesn't see you that way, than aren't you just as hung up on her as she is on whatever jerk she goes back to?

On a slighted related note, while you guys call it cuddle *****, it's really emotional attachment. Psychobabble: women seek emotional relationships, using people as sounding boards and talking about personal issues primarily. Men tend to have more "action" relationships, centered on mutual activities (gaming, sports, w/e). When was the last time any of you had a heart-to-heart with a guy friend about things like these irl? It usually doesn't happen, and when you do start talk to a woman you like about emotional things, it's something important, novel, she's got to know I like her now! But for her it's just...normal. Unless you upfront present yourself as a suitor (for lack of a better term) you'll be filed into that friend category (which does exist, with a few subcategories haha).

Also, real studies prove that men are more likely to have an idealized opinion of love, and fall in love easier, and women weigh in other factors as more important (financial security, safety being near the top)


/text wall

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

Ugh, "Romantics" make me want to kill myself. Especially "High School Romantics"-- bunch of starry-eyed douchebags... writing poetry and all that bullshit. I just want to scream at them, "You're going to dump that ***** by the end of Senior year!" GOD.

So, to answer your question... no, I'm not a romantic. "Love" to me is just friendship with sex added to the mix. Friendships seldom last forever. Sex is always awesome.

 

[theklng]

i'd like to say thanks to those people in this thread who have made me aware of my possibilities of going into coaching for these sorts of things.

for those of you with confidence issues, one way or another; let me just put it quickly: overcome your fear. you have a fear of talking with someone, then practice it until it goes away. i too started with introversion and mumbling. now i'm dealing with other problems, such as too many women. i actually wish this was exaggerated, but i've recently had the dubious pleasure of having a choice between two women. so, what happened? i sat down and addressed the issue, how my confidence was pretty much non-existant and how i could help this. the root of the problem? myself; or rather, the lack of myself in "me".

the one person that will always stick with you is yourself. you need more self appreciation to get more self esteem. you need to be able to not just back down and away, but deal with what you're presented with. do things for yourself and not for others. nobody cares what everyone else thinks. shrug off their judgment. they have forgotten about it within a few minutes time, and so should you.

define yourself as an individual, not as a nobody or an object. show yourself that you have enough balls to handle anything coming your way. when you've accomplished this, people will notice a difference; but more importantly: so will you when you speak with them.

 

[Khedive Rex]

Me? A Romantic? What an absurd hypothesis.

You'll forgive me, but I find the entire gamut of ways that humans interact with each other backwards and alienating. You people are a weird and self-defeating hoard.

This is the Escapist though so I suppose I do have to provide evidence for my assertions.

Spoiler: Evidence

Firstly, men and women do not understand each other. Honestly you all aren't that different or even that complicated but on a basic level you really refuse to relate. Besides not understanding each other though, on balance you don't even seem to like each other that much. Read through this thread (or one of the many before it) if you want evidence of this. All the men seem to personify women as alien creatures who delight in tormenting poor lovestruck men while demanding superior unfair treatment. Women seem to personify men as bloody stupid infants who can't be bothered to consider the emotional needs of their partner for thirty seconds if theres anything in a twenty mile radius they can fuck.

Amazingly though, all of this resentment is thrown to the wayside the same second two people decide to rub lips. Suddenly their partner is supposed to exemplify perfection or, if not, they are at least expected to slide all their undesirable qualities under a hypothetical carpet and pretend they never existed. A person who, in essence, you still don't understand or empathise with particularly is supposed to become the "other half" of your life.

And then they're shocked and appauled when the tower of cards collapses? Can I humbly suggest that this collapse was inevitable from the start? That the fact people are happily willing to call their exes explitives to anyone who'll listen or (in extreme cases) actually go out of their way to physically or emotional harm them is evidence that they never actually cared for them and their wellbeing to begin with?

And yet, this sort of interaction happens on a daily basis between millions of young lovers. They all think it's meaningfull and they all are sure that their love is special seperate and entirely different from anyone elses, when in fact this kind of interaction is commonplace and benal.

This is a socially acceptable arrangment? Heck, this is a socially desirable arrangment?!

... You'll forgive me. I use to think I was a misanthrope but in reality I'm just far to apathetic for my own good. I look at everything for what it is and no one has been able to logically explain to me why human interaction makes sense (in general, though I've only covered romanticism and dating in this post). Don't get me wrong either, I've dated before and Thor knows I'll do it again. Theres only one reason to do it though and no point in pretending otherwise.

Dating gets you high.

Kissing the girl, holding her, feeling that connection; it's a rush. No drugs as good as the ones your body makes itself. Unfortunately, they make you just as stupid.

 

[MsDevin92]

I think I'm too odd to be considered an option in this poll...Sure, I'll get all gushy over romantic media like a love song or an old fairy tale, and there are people who I think are cute and have had crushes on, but I feel so awkward and out of place in a couple because however private it is, it's still a sort of social situation. And I suck at those. And because it's a social situation CROSSED with strong emotional feelings, I'm more likely to screw up and become all depressed.

So I sate myself by fangirling over couples in cartoons or staring at screenshots of arrtractive video game characters. >_> *shot*

 

[Hyzenthlay]

Haha..My boyfriends one of the awkward guys. I think that example conversation is almost an exact replica of our first conversation. If you get to know someone well it stops being a social situation and you don't need to think about what you say as you dont need to impress them...I used to be that awkward to.

 

[dalek sec]

I've given up on trying my luck at dating in general because to me the rewards don't even come close to risk's one has to take now a days. You might be able for a few days but in time like most things it'll go bad and turn to dust with enough time. The one main thing that drives me insane is that none of my friends or people I talk online with have been able to give me a real reason as to why I shouldn't give up about this stuff and why is it so important that I try it out or why I shouldn't just pack it up and become a shut in.

 

[mojojowjow2007]

i am a bit of a romantic but not an obsessive one cus thats just sickening. i think being romantic when appropriate is better than being a poetry reading, rose giving, dinner making fool 24/7. it would get boring very quickly

 

[Blayze]

I have no charisma whatsoever, a voice I find annoying (Seriously. When I hear myself over TS, I find myself cringing), a tendency to slur my words and mumber no matter how hard I try to speak clearly, no game -- "inner" or "outer" -- etc, as well as a lack of confidence (Apparently).

In short: The only way it seems I'd ever be able to date successfully would be to become a completely different person. I'm looking into the possibility of forced amnesia.

 

[dalek sec]

I have no charisma whatsoever, a voice I find annoying (Seriously. When I hear myself over TS, I find myself cringing), a tendency to slur my words and mumber no matter how hard I try to speak clearly, no game -- "inner" or "outer" -- etc, as well as a lack of confidence (Apparently).

In short: The only way it seems I'd ever be able to date successfully would be to become a completely different person. I'm looking into the possibility of forced amnesia.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has problems like this in real life. I feel your pain my friend.

 

[theklng]

Me? A Romantic? What an absurd hypothesis.

You'll forgive me, but I find the entire gamut of ways that humans interact with each other backwards and alienating. You people are a weird and self-defeating hoard.

This is the Escapist though so I suppose I do have to provide evidence for my assertions.

Spoiler: Evidence

Firstly, men and women do not understand each other. Honestly you all aren't that different or even that complicated but on a basic level you really refuse to relate. Besides not understanding each other though, on balance you don't even seem to like each other that much. Read through this thread (or one of the many before it) if you want evidence of this. All the men seem to personify women as alien creatures who delight in tormenting poor lovestruck men while demanding superior unfair treatment. Women seem to personify men as bloody stupid infants who can't be bothered to consider the emotional needs of their partner for thirty seconds if theres anything in a twenty mile radius they can fuck.

Amazingly though, all of this resentment is thrown to the wayside the same second two people decide to rub lips. Suddenly their partner is supposed to exemplify perfection or, if not, they are at least expected to slide all their undesirable qualities under a hypothetical carpet and pretend they never existed. A person who, in essence, you still don't understand or empathise with particularly is supposed to become the "other half" of your life.

And then they're shocked and appauled when the tower of cards collapses? Can I humbly suggest that this collapse was inevitable from the start? That the fact people are happily willing to call their exes explitives to anyone who'll listen or (in extreme cases) actually go out of their way to physically or emotional harm them is evidence that they never actually cared for them and their wellbeing to begin with?

And yet, this sort of interaction happens on a daily basis between millions of young lovers. They all think it's meaningfull and they all are sure that their love is special seperate and entirely different from anyone elses, when in fact this kind of interaction is commonplace and benal.

This is a socially acceptable arrangment? Heck, this is a socially desirable arrangment?!

... You'll forgive me. I use to think I was a misanthrope but in reality I'm just far to apathetic for my own good. I look at everything for what it is and no one has been able to logically explain to me why human interaction makes sense (in general, though I've only covered romanticism and dating in this post). Don't get me wrong either, I've dated before and Thor knows I'll do it again. Theres only one reason to do it though and no point in pretending otherwise.

Dating gets you high.

Kissing the girl, holding her, feeling that connection; it's a rush. No drugs as good as the ones your body makes itself. Unfortunately, they make you just as stupid.

good sir, i believe you have found the most effecient way of posting on a forum, ever. catering both to those who don't want to read and those who want to read. i congratulate you on finding this perfect syntax, although it does in the end mean nothing.

to the rest of your point: i agree. feelings and instinct do not belong in this world per se. the universe does not care about you, so why should you care about it?

however, other people view it differently. there are distinct personalities that assume positions of thinking versus feeling, and these will always conflict with each other. your perspective is of the thinking perspective, whereas a feeling person will say that the feelings are a vital experience.

i'd go into depth with this, but considering the broad range of this psychological topic, it would take me a day or more to write a proper essay upon the subject. and time is a luxury i can't afford to waste too much off in the current state of my life.

 

[JMeganSnow]

So let me get this straight. You think that I should, on a usual basis, hold the door open for you and be sensitive to the fact that you are a woman when talking to you in the office, and that you think I should go out of my way to treat you better (like, say, not cussing with) than just a guy I share a cubicle with, but then when it comes promotion time you and I should be equal, although the only thing you've done to reciprocate me going out of my way is a smile here and there.
Do you see the double standard yet?

And I am so confused by your second paragraph. When did personal economics become a job as a firefighter?

So not cussing and opening the occasional door consists of "going out of your way" and somehow makes you a worthier human being, but a woman taking time out of *her* day to express appreciation *doesn't*? Do you see the double standard THERE?

Idiot. No wonder you're having such a tough time comprehending my firefighter analogy. One of the areas where women of the feminist type complain most stringently about "discrimination" against women is in tough physical jobs where most women just aren't up to the work. (The women who CAN do the work generally aren't interested in it.) So instead of accepting that there are always going to be a lot more male firefighters, they demand that women be held to lower standards than men in hiring practices until "parity" is achieved.

How this is going to help someone trapped inside a burning building I do not know, but a woman will Have A Job and apparently that's all that matters to feminists. Since most personal economics consist of having a job, the analogy is pretty damn apt.