Poll: Are There That Many Asexuals Here?

[axlryder]

Um... Wanna run that math by me one more time?

That doesn't change anything. The fact of the matter is, inborn asexuality is way to rare to account for the tens of people here claiming they're asexual. Much more likely they suffer from an actual problem ranging anywhere from hyperthyroidism to teenage angst.

Now I'm going to pull out my Escapist-fu, and point out that, during the El Shaddai event last year, users cheating with bots were able to amass over 10000 users who had recieved an El Shaddai badge in a matter of days after the event began, thus proving that, statistically, there were at least 100 asexuals active in a period of under a week. Then add in the fact that that the number of participants is only a fraction of total users active in that time, and, as I myself have done, asexuals seeing a thread like this that questions the authenticity of their orientation would log in to defend themselves!
Even at a less active time such as right now, it is perfectly feesiable to have a handful of asexuals here to speak their voice. You, sir, have grossly underestimated the nature of this website!
*proceeds to prance around like an Escapist ninja*

I don't think there are all that many asexuals, but I do think that a lot of people have sexual oddities and simply find it easier to identify themselves as asexual than go through a whole song and dance to explain their particular relationship with sex. I have my own issues with it, and while I'm not asexual at all, I've identified myself as asexual when I felt it to be equivalent to my own condition in a specific context for brevity's sake (though never on these forums).

Please, don't do that in the future, it only confuses the matter, when asexuals haven't had their own say in the general eye yet.

believe me, the condition which I suffer from gives me a very accurate perspective on asexuality. I wouldn't draw the parallel if I wasn't certain of that. However, I've already explained my condition once on this site so I don't want to seem contradictory by calling myself asexual in other threads.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

Even at a less active time such as right now, it is perfectly feesiable to have a handful of asexuals here to speak their voice.

I didn't know the existence of something was determined by how many people screamed hard enough it does. Thanks for clearing that up.

Uh, nothing, pretty much. You are making it abundantly clear that you know nothing.

It's funny, people made the same argument back when asperger's was a thing.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

Although I think Asexuaity exists I think a sizable portion of them just want an excuse as to why they are single.

I remember someone here a while back said they were asexual for a while then stopped once they got a girlfriend...

Mmmm hmmm

Yeah, I think it's more along the lines of "Look at how much I don't care" type of teenage mentality.

For fuck sake's guys, it's not that easy to pull a relationship out of thin air. I consider myself a pretty attractive male, yet I have an incredibly hard time getting someone's attention (yes, I'm aware that is very self inflated and I just sounded like a major asshole).

Point is, it's not an easy thing to find.

 

[TheMagicLemur]

Also, a general point: Asexuality isn't necessarily written in stone. I have a friend who was not interested in sex for a long time, and essentially received a burst of testosterone in the past few years. Now he is sexually active and fine with it; two years prior the thought of an aroused vagina or erect penis made him faintly nauseous. Hormones are strange, strange things.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

Yeah, I think I'm more than qualified to call bullshit when I see it. Just like the bisexuality fad before this and the asperger's crap before that I've seen it all and this is no different. Just a bunch of angsty teenagers talking about crap they don't understand.

Regardless, it really isn't fair for you to say what I know I am is just a fad. I've never had an interest in sex, and it's not just because I haven't "met the right person" or some bullshit. Like I said, I'm sure there are people who are lying for some reason, but it's not fair to assume that everybody is.

Just like we need to know exactly how many smokers there are in the world to make an estimate on how many of them are going to die of lung cancer. Oh, and by the way, kissing is sexual by nature. Just saying.

So? Some asexuals may find romanctic gestures such as kissing and hugging to be fine, whereas the act is sex is disgusting. I'm one such person. Others may despise physical intimacy in all forms. Being fine with kissing does not mean you're suddenly not an asexual.

Aha, just like how homosexuals suddenly become heterosexuals for no reason at all. It couldn't possibly be that they weren't homosexuals in the first place but fuck, what the hell do I know right?

Except that research shows that sexuality can be fluid. I'm not saying people suddenly hop from one to another, but they may change their sexual identity based on experiences they get as they get older. Not everybody stays the same, for various reasons. Hell, I myself used to think the idea of kissing other girls was gross. Now, sometimes I think it'd be nice to do that if I wanted (which I currently won't, as I have a boyfriend, but still.)

Any type of sexuality that does not directly contribute to the propagation of the species (read: anything not heterosexual), is a defect and an aberration.

It's nothing to be ashamed of or angered by, it's simply biological fact. In no way does that imply those who fall into such a category are "lesser", simply that they are a departure from the norm and suffer from a biological defect.

It's much the same way an albinoism is a defect. No one can control it, and it doesn't make one any less of a person, but it does prevent you from performing the most basic function of all living beings.

Okay, going on thinking that I guess, but it doesn't change the fact that calling it a defect or an aberration sounds really, really rude. At least, it is to me.

Thank you Dragonizer. You put your points across very calmly and succinctly, and I hope anyone else reading your posts will feel as heartened by them as I am.

OT: If you start a thread about sexuality then people who identify their sexuality as different and warranting a comment are going to post, hence what appears to be an abundance of asexual people posting. I don't see why that's surprising in any way.

Take me for example; I'm posting here because I'm asexual and want to make myself heard. It's hurtful to see that some people think asexuals don't exist or are aberrations and I'd like to throw my hat in the ring and say they're wrong (or quote someone who can say it much more eloquently than I).

 

[DktrAgonizer]

-snip-

Haha, holy crap you're impossible. Kissing may be sexual in nature, but it's not ALL ABOUT SEX. It's also *gasp* romance. Just because I may want to kiss somebody, I want to also have sex with them? No, that's not how it works for everybody. It may be that way for YOU, but like I said, I have no desire for sex. None.
And guess what? Not desiring sex does NOT MEAN I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship. So what if what I desire is more emotional intimacy than physical intimacy? There's nothing wrong with that, and my boyfriend does happen to know sex is not something I desire, thank you very much. This does not mean I'm not asexual. You really need to closely examine the term.

Plus, you're acting like a condescending jerk, which doesn't help any of your points.

I just want to say something here: It's totally ok for you to be like that, but it is NOT ok for you to date someone who wants a sexual relationship unless you're both ok with them getting sex elsewhere. Some asexuals do that, and those people are selfish bastards. It's just something that comes up a LOT and I wanted to point that out. If any asexuals out there want a completely monogamous, romantic relationship, then you should date other asexuals.

Yes, I know. My boyfriend does know that I have no desire for sex, and he's fine with that (or at least, for now). If at any point he expresses that he wants something more, I've got no intentions of roping him into a relationship that won't give him everything he needs just because I don't happen to need it. That'd be cruel.

It is abberant in that it is not the default human behavior. It's ok to be that way, so long as you don't make the mistake of thinking that all those people having sex are the ones who are deviating from the norm.

Oh yeah, I'd never think that. I know WHY people like and desire sex, and I say good for them. I just know it's not for me, and that's cool.

Thank you Dragonizer. You put your points across very calmly and succinctly, and I hope anyone else reading your posts will feel as heartened by them as I am.

Heh, I hope so. It can be hard to tell when you're posting at 1am and when you're supposed to be doing homework, oops. I actually found myself surprised about how interested I was in keeping an eye on this topic, too.

 

[InsanityRequiem]

And what do you say of people past the age of 25 that are asexual? Your posts sound, to me and a few others I'd surmise, just like the religious nut jobs that say Homo/Bisexuality does not exist and is a choice.

That's your go to page, tvtropes? How about scooping up some actual scientific studies on the subject. Oh right, you can't. You know why? Because decreased libido is part of so many disorders that categorizing it as an actual sexual orientation would be insane, especially since we have so little scientific data on the subject.

then you do not have any sort of right to say that 100% of humanity is attractive to physical appearance.

I do have the right to express my opinion though. It's something called free speech, look it up.

Why don't you tell me the scientific facts that support your "opinion" that asexuality doesn't exist then? I'll put these links here, as they are to the abstracts to the studies I've found. Thing about scientific articles? You need to be a member to read them.

http://sexualities.sagepub.com/content/14/4/462.abstract

http://sexualities.sagepub.com/content/11/5/621.short

http://sexualities.sagepub.com/content/14/4/444.abstract

http://sexualities.sagepub.com/content/13/4/445.abstract <-- While still dealing with asexuality, this one pertains to more women fighting against the sexual world.

Yes, you got the right to say what you want. But here's the thing, what you say needs back up like what you're calling me out on. Otherwise, you are wrong.

 

[Dogstile]

Most of them have the term confused I think, after all, I see none of these people reproducing with themselves.

All jokes aside, this side seems to attract them. I just don't read everything on here without taking a large dose of salt first.

 

[Erana]

Please don't call asexuality a defect. It's no more a defect than any other type of sexuality (which is to say, it's not one at all). There's nothing wrong with me or any other ace/grey-ace/demi just because we happen to be a little different. Calling it a defect is, uh, really rude. :/

Reproduction is a critical aspect of nature, without it, life would have begun and ended on Earth in the timeframe of minutes. By way of evolution, complex organisms such as ourselves and other mammals have developed a libido, a desire for sex, a desire for reproduction. The absence of a recognizable libido results in a drastically reduced reproductive efficiency rate, meaning that you as an organism are failing in your primary task in life. Homosexuals and bisexuals such as myself are examples of such defects as well because we have reduced efficiency rates.

It's nothing to do with social views on these sorts of people, I have nothing against any of it. You can live with it and be perfectly happy, maybe even more happy than others, but we can't ignore what we really are scientifically. We can't ignore everything, and we can't allow ourselves to go and be offended at such trivial things. We are not singular beings but the collective consciousness of trillions and trillions of cells put together, and we as members of all living things collectively form an entirely new global organism in itself. We are simply cells in our own.

The world does not view such discrepancies as we do, we either fulfill our primary tasks or we don't, we as a collective entity can be viewed as defective as easily as you can call one of your own blood cells defective for not doing what it's supposed to.

The flaw in this logic is that you insist that our purpose in life is to reproduce.
But we're not just any animals, we're human beings. Implying that reproduction is inherently vital to the value of an individual is simply ludicrous, because we are social creatures. The fact alone that we have developed the state of menopause, which is most often hypothesized to occur to help women survive to help their family unit after a healthy reproductive age, attests to our being designed for the benefit of the whole.
Not to mention, homosexuality naturally occurs in all kinds of creatures, as a general percent of the population, which would more greatly suggest that its a matter of population control or to have more bachelors to contribute to the community.

Now, would you mind coming up with sources for your "scientific" facts that non heterosexuals are inherently "defective"?

 

[AndyFromMonday]

Kissing may be sexual in nature, but it's not ALL ABOUT SEX.

It's a SEXUAL ACT. It denotes SEXUALITY. What's so hard understand? You say you have no interest in sex but you're more than willing to engage in things that are sexual by nature. You're impossible to talk to, seriously.

snip

This is a direct quote from you:
"whereas the act is sex is disgusting"

You view sex as being disgusting. That is not asexuality. There, are we done?

Why don't you tell me the scientific facts that support your "opinion" that asexuality doesn't exist then?

I have never made the claim that asexuality doesn't exist. Good job pulling shit out of your ass.

Yes, you got the right to say what you want. But here's the thing, what you say needs back up like what you're calling me out on. Otherwise, you are wrong.

Except I'm not. There's not enough scientific literature to classify asexuality as an actual sexual orientation. Also, sagepub? That's your go to website for scientific studies regarding asexuality? Lol. Just fucking lol.

 

[TheMagicLemur]

Yes, I know. My boyfriend does know that I have no desire for sex, and he's fine with that (or at least, for now). If at any point he expresses that he wants something more, I've got no intentions of roping him into a relationship that won't give him everything he needs just because I don't happen to need it. That'd be cruel.

That's good. There seem to be an alarming number of asexuals who think that that is perfectly reasonable behavior, which is why I mentioned it.

It is abberant in that it is not the default human behavior. It's ok to be that way, so long as you don't make the mistake of thinking that all those people having sex are the ones who are deviating from the norm.

Oh yeah, I'd never think that. I know WHY people like and desire sex, and I say good for them. I just know it's not for me, and that's cool.

That's good. I just tend to be defensive about liking sex; as I said, I suspect that a lot of the negative attitudes about sex in the world came from asexuals who were every bit as blustering and self-righteous as that obnoxious AndyFromMonday guy.

 

[Julianking93]

I think most of them are pseudo-asexual, just people that either don't make an effort or are pretending because they feel like they don't have a chance at love.
I know that at least one of them is genuine, but the fact that so many claim to be is unrealistic.

Exactly what I was going to say.

There are a couple that I know who are genuinely asexual and find no interest in it but for the most part, the ones I've known simply attempt to make an excuse as to why they're single or can't get sex at all.
A defense, more or less.

Hell, I even had someone admit that to me once.
They only said they were asexual as either a defense against constantly being hit on or just a lie to themselves.

 

[Julianking93]

It's a SEXUAL ACT. It denotes SEXUALITY. What's so hard understand? You say you have no interest in sex but you're more than willing to engage in things that are sexual by nature. You're impossible to talk to, seriously.
.

I'll admit to not having read through your previous posts but this one caught my attention.

Kissing doesn't have to have anything to do with sex.
It's a way of expressing love to two individuals romantically involved.

Romance/Kissing =/= Sex/sexuality.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I think most of the people on this site who claim to be asexual are just saying it to be "edgy". Far too many people on here claim to be for all of them to be telling the truth. Hell, maybe they don't really know, themselves?

 

[DktrAgonizer]

This is a direct quote from you:
"whereas the act is sex is disgusting"

You view sex as being disgusting. That is not asexuality. There, are we done?

Julianking93 already has a good reply on the kissing thing, so I'll address this one.

Yes, I view sex as something I neither want nor need and due to this, I have little to no sex drive. Which is pretty much exactly what asexuality is. My personal view on the act being gross doesn't mean I'm NOT an asexual. That's just ridiculous.

 

[Signa]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I like to say I land somewhere between asexuality and Vulcan. I can't say that I have no sexuality because I do get horny, and I know I've seen sexually attractive females and not other dudes, so I know I'm not gay or bi, but sex is just so ridiculously unimportant to me. It's just easier to say I'm asexual and be done with it.

 

[Agayek]

When talking to others it's important to take the general connotations of a word into account, regardless of its factual meaning or objective accuracy. Heck, even a word which has neutral meaning in one setting could be seen as negative in another. I'd find this to be an example of the latter. I wouldn't have even brought it up, but the fact that you said "suffer from a biological defect" makes it almost seem as though you're being subtly inflammatory. I just don't want to see you unwittingly alienate yourself

Okay, going on thinking that I guess, but it doesn't change the fact that calling it a defect or an aberration sounds really, really rude. At least, it is to me.

Two things to cover here:

1) It's not an insult, it's simply a statement of biological fact. You can not like it all you wish, but the facts very rarely limit themselves to what we would like. Again, I will link it directly to albinoism. It's a genetic/developmental change that causes you to be different from the "average". It's neither good nor bad, it simply is.

2) If you're so uncomfortable with yourself and your sexuality that connotative derision that may or may not exist is enough to offend you, you may want to re-evaluate things. A bit of self-confidence does wonders for that kind of thing.

 

[TehCookie]

I think it's mostly users who don't feel like explaining their sexuality and just pick the closest option. I tend to call myself a romantic asexual rather than describe everything. Besides even if the terms people use aren't 100% accurate, it's the internet do you really need to know that much about a random person?

 

[Erana]

Even at a less active time such as right now, it is perfectly feesiable to have a handful of asexuals here to speak their voice.

I didn't know the existence of something was determined by how many people screamed hard enough it does. Thanks for clearing that up.

Here, let me help you by showing you my entire quote, as it seems you missed the point entirely:

Um... Wanna run that math by me one more time?

That doesn't change anything. The fact of the matter is, inborn asexuality is way to rare to account for the tens of people here claiming they're asexual. Much more likely they suffer from an actual problem ranging anywhere from hyperthyroidism to teenage angst.

Now I'm going to pull out my Escapist-fu, and point out that, during the El Shaddai event last year, users cheating with bots were able to amass over 10000 users who had recieved an El Shaddai badge in a matter of days after the event began, thus proving that, statistically, there were at least 100 asexuals active in a period of under a week. Then add in the fact that that the number of participants is only a fraction of total users active in that time, and, as I myself have done, asexuals seeing a thread like this that questions the authenticity of their orientation would log in to defend themselves!
Even at a less active time such as right now, it is perfectly feesiable to have a handful of asexuals here to speak their voice. You, sir, have grossly underestimated the nature of this website!
*proceeds to prance around like an Escapist ninja*

If I understood you correctly, you said that the number of people who are claiming to be asexual here is unlikely.

I replied with evidence to suggest that it is, in fact, feasible under the circumstances for this many asexuals to be on the Escapist.

I even included lighthearted comments, including one which implied that I was prancing around pretending to be a ninja, and you respond to me not only in a disrespectful manner, but one that has nothing to do with a proper discussion.

I kindly suggest you reconsider this behavior, as it is not good for the community, nor for the long term status of the individual on this website.

 

[Smithburg]

Nope, Im attracted to all sorts of stuff, even this guy |
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