Poll: Are There That Many Asexuals Here?

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

Unless there is a medical, physiological or serious psychological condition, anyone who claims to be asexual is lying. They might be lying to other people, they may be lying to themselves but whatever the reason for it, they are lying.

What sensible reason would anyone have to lie about such a thing? And by sensible, I mean something that isn't an excuse for something else.

Ask them, they're the ones lying. Possibly because they're teens who are trying to establish their identities/sexuality, seek approval from their peers and try to stand out from the crowd, usually by being "cool" or something that isn't "the norm". The only thing that one can say for certain is that in the absence of a medical or serious psychological issue (serious enough to have physiological effects) as I said above, any human being claiming to be asexual post-puberty, is lying.

 

[Hap2]

Unless there is a medical, physiological or serious psychological condition, anyone who claims to be asexual is lying. They might be lying to other people, they may be lying to themselves but whatever the reason for it, they are lying.

What sensible reason would anyone have to lie about such a thing? And by sensible, I mean something that isn't an excuse for something else.

Ask them, they're the ones lying. Possibly because they're teens who are trying to establish their identities/sexuality, seek approval from their peers and try to stand out from the crowd, usually by being "cool" or something that isn't "the norm". The only thing that one can say for certain is that in the absence of a medical or serious psychological issue (serious enough to have physiological effects) as I said above, any human being claiming to be asexual post-puberty, is lying.

You realize it makes more sense to take the entire quote in context and address the main point, instead of ignoring it because it does not fully agree with your claim that "everyone is lying". Let me quote it for you:

What sensible reason would anyone have to lie about such a thing? And by sensible, I mean something that isn't an excuse for something else. It's immensely difficult to find a romantic partner that isn't interested in sex, and there's always the very huge risk that one may never find anyone and have to cope being alone. To top that off, if an asexual goes into a relationship with someone who isn't ace, compromises for both partners often have to be made; sometimes they work, often they don't, resulting in stress and unsatisfactory conditions for both parties in the relationship. Then there are asexuals who have libidos, but have no sexual attraction or interest in others, can you imagine how annoying it would be to have a libido that isn't directed to anything, it just goes off whenever it feels like, due to the dopamine high sexual release can bring and the body thinking it needs its fix, much like an addiction, even when it is entirely unwelcome and the person isn't interested?

If people are romanticizing asexuality, they need to stop. It has its problems just as any other sexuality does. I do not use the term lightly, and I only use it as a point of reference to make communication of my needs in a relationship clear. It does not define me. It is not a 'toy'. And assuming that every person is lying, is just mere delusion.

As I said, being asexual has its own set of problems and issues, especially for those looking for an intimate relationship, it should never be romanticized. There are plenty that are adults as well, it's not confined to teenagers. I know a few much older than myself, middle-aged, and some even older than that, that have been married and have had kids, but the relationships didn't work out because they weren't attracted to their partners sexually. One cannot fake sexual attraction where there is none, I've tried, it doesn't work.

You must remember that the defining trait of what makes a person asexual is not a low libido, or sex drive, or a lack of interest in sex (e.g. repulsion, disinterest, etc.). Rather it is a lack of sexual attraction, (or natural sexual inclination, whatever you wish to call it) to all genders and sexes. Straight people are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, gay people to the same sex, bi to both, and asexuals/aces to none.

Now, I am no teenager, I am well past puberty, I have spent a couple of years of thorough introspection and experimentation before using the term in reference to myself, and as far as the doctor is concerned I am both mentally and physically fit. As I have said before, I only tell others I am asexual when I am asked, or when I wish to explain my needs in a relationship, or when topics such as this one pop up and I feel the need to answer questions and clarify. On all accounts, I seem to be the antithesis to your claim that all asexuals are "lying teenagers seeking attention or someone with mental/physical problems".

I suppose then the next step would be proof, but if one is rational, one would see how impossible that is in the case of sexuality, as the only thing we could measure is behaviour, and that is quite difficult enough on its own to get anything certain from, let alone to try to do so through a forum. For how do you measure and confirm a lack of sexual attraction? Many asexuals date, and seek out intimate and romantic relationships with others. Yet the relationship doesn't hinge on sexual attraction to their partner.

Unless you have a definitive way of proving that people are not what they say they are, then your claim that "everyone is lying" is a redundant one, and just as ridiculous as those that are using 'asexuality' as a status symbol. Personal experience should never be used as if it were universal, as it would be just as ridiculous and stupid for me to claim based on my experience that "everyone is lying, sex is never important for a relationship", when that clearly isn't the case.

 

[repeating integers]

I am asexual.

I take a look at the world and see just how many people are mesmerized by sexuality and I'm sick to my core. The more I think about how pathetic the human race is the more I want to puke. Humans are suppose to evolve not remain as neanderthals for all eternity. Since the beginning of humanity, since the very first neanderthals walked this planet, the human race has failed to change beyond natural instincts. Humans continue to wage pointless wars, argue over irrelevent matters, screw pretty much anything that moves, would rather celebrate for absolutely no reason than do something productive.

I've known what sex means since quite a young age. Ever since then I have understood the meaning and reasoning behind sex. Primary function is to breed children. At first it wasn't such a big deal until the world started taking a turn for the worst and over population became a problem. That was the first straw.

The second straw was finding out how young people began to have sex at. There are no words to describe how disgusted I am about that.

The final straw is when people confuse love with lust. Two people in love with each other permanently for the rest of their lives, that is undoubtedly love. People that have sex with one person one time, few months or so down the line have sex with someone new and repeats said process several times in their life with the primary objective being only to say "I've screwed this many chicks." That's lust and anyone that actually does that needs to be killed.

Since then I've abolished all sex from my existance. Including anything sex related such as hugging, kissing and so forth. I don't allow people to get near me and hug me or even kiss me on the cheek. I'd sooner kill myself than allow corruption to seep into my soul and drag me into a pit of hell that is called the human race.

As a side note I understand that there are many forms of corruption, that I'm well aware of them and abolish them as well.

And as a on topic statement. The majority of people that actually say they're asexual are lying. I'd say one in every few thousand. I would even go as far to say one in every tens of thousands.

I think the responses to this post (and every other post you've ever made, you clever bugger) prove that people on the internet really are incapable of detecting sarcasm and/or parody.

Anyway. I have no doubt that there are a few asexuals here - but I think most who claim to be asexual aren't telling the truth, even if they don't realise it. I've seen an awful lot of people claim to be asexual on these boards - as in, a suspicious number (one guy said he admired the female body "from an artistic perspective as I am asexual"... haha, nice try).

 

[Hap2]

Anyway. I have no doubt that there are a few asexuals here - but I think most who claim to be asexual aren't telling the truth, even if they don't realise it. I've seen an awful lot of people claim to be asexual on these boards - as in, a suspicious number (one guy said he admired the female body "from an artistic perspective as I am asexual"... haha, nice try).

Asexual doesn't mean blind you realize. I myself find both the male and female form to be aesthetically pleasing. Just because you are not sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean you must see them as being ugly.

Do you need to want to have sex with it to find a sunrise beautiful?

 

[FamoFunk]

I think the majority of people lie, or don't really understand the meaning.

Same with other things like ADHD or Asparagus. It happens on the internet.

 

[repeating integers]

Anyway. I have no doubt that there are a few asexuals here - but I think most who claim to be asexual aren't telling the truth, even if they don't realise it. I've seen an awful lot of people claim to be asexual on these boards - as in, a suspicious number (one guy said he admired the female body "from an artistic perspective as I am asexual"... haha, nice try).

Asexual doesn't mean blind you realize. I myself find both the male and female form to be aesthetically pleasing. Just because you are not sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean you must see them as being ugly.

Do you need to want to have sex with it to find a sunrise beautiful?

Fair enough with the sunrise (mind you, the Beatles might have something to say about that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWlLPJG9Cvg]), but what made me suspicious was why he felt the need to qualify it at all. There's nothing shameful about admiring the female body, asexual or not.

P.S Are you the poster I'm thinking of? You look vaguely familiar...

 

[DeadFOAM]

I'm sorry, you misunderstand me.

I'm not saying everybody who is a virgin/single has an excuse or even NEEDS one. I'm saying that some people that claim to be asexual are using it as one. Like you said, being single/virgin in our culture is "looked down on." Instead of just saying "Yes, I'm a virgin/single," I think some of the people under the label are using it as a way to deflect attention from themselves.

I don't think I'm doing a great job of trying to get my point across.
I am not trying to equate "worth of a human being and social skills with their sex life."

Sorry, it wasn't particularly directly that at you.

More just using that as an excuse to explain my issues with how sex is treated in society.

Ah, no worries mate.

I do share your distaste in how our society handles sex though.

 

[Hap2]

Anyway. I have no doubt that there are a few asexuals here - but I think most who claim to be asexual aren't telling the truth, even if they don't realise it. I've seen an awful lot of people claim to be asexual on these boards - as in, a suspicious number (one guy said he admired the female body "from an artistic perspective as I am asexual"... haha, nice try).

Asexual doesn't mean blind you realize. I myself find both the male and female form to be aesthetically pleasing. Just because you are not sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean you must see them as being ugly.

Do you need to want to have sex with it to find a sunrise beautiful?

Fair enough with the sunrise (mind you, the Beatles might have something to say about that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWlLPJG9Cvg]), but what made me suspicious was why he felt the need to qualify it at all. There's nothing shameful about admiring the female body, asexual or not.

P.S Are you the poster I'm thinking of? You look vaguely familiar...

I post in a lot of threads about sexuality, I have a philosophical interest in it in general. Though I haven't been on these forums for quite some time, so it is doubtful it was me you were referring to. And what you have quoted isn't exactly rare to hear either amongst asexuals: finding others aesthetically pleasing and there are even some who base whom they go out with on that (asexuals obviously can be just as shallow about looks as anyone, we're humans after all, as looks are often what we all see, and often judge with, when we first meet others).

If they were trying to qualify it as you say, it is likely because a lot of people assume that because one isn't attracted to a person sexually, they cannot be attracted to someone because of their looks. The individual in question probably wanted to distinguish it from sexual attraction, as I believe for most people that aren't aseuxal, being attracted to how someone looks and having some kind of sexual interest likely aren't always separated, or perhaps one follows from the other. It's not exact for anyone I suppose, as it has to do with feeling and experience, something that for the most part here would be relative and not easy to pin down with words.

All I can say is that in my case, how a person looks has never affected me in a way where I immediately had, or grew, to have any kind of sexual interest in another person. Including people in prior relationships that I had been infatuated and intimate with. I can find other people nice to look at, but not necessarily for the same reasons as someone who is also sexually attracted to the person. Hence it's more of an aesthetic appreciation.

This is all very convoluted however, and doesn't exactly play out as words describe (feelings and experiences rarely, if ever, do). As I am sure non-asexual people can have an aesthetic appreciation and not be sexually attracted to a person as well. Hence why it is just easiest to say "not interested in others sexually, period" than to pick every little feeling apart (tried that once, it isn't fun). Many people seem to view the labels as absolutes that govern throughout all of one's behaviour. I however do not, and more or less take a position similar to that of Foucault's, in that there are bodies and pleasures and the labels are more a matter of convenience than one of identity.

 

[Monkeyman O'Brien]

Claiming you are Asexual sounds a lot better than admitting you are a loser who could not get a date if you had a few grand poking out the fly of your jeans.

 

[BOOM headshot65]

I dont know. Maybe some people say it for lack of a better defining word. For instance, I say I am Asexual, but really I dont think I actually am, because I do have romantic intrest in women, I have a girlfriend, and I would have sex to produce a child (and think that sex should wait until marriage), I have no problem with kissing or cuddling, but other than that, the actual act of sex is something completely unappealing to me.