Your going to have to be yourself at some point, doing this from square 1 will stop that inevitable shit storm from growing and hitting you when you finally fess up.
Poll: Be yourself: bad advice?
- Thread starter Doclector
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One thing i'd also like to express is that even though being yourself can lead to people not liking you, as long as you are not breaking the law no one should ever force you to not be yourself. Some people I've met seem to think that they have a right to be comfortable around other people, when really it's just all in their head. It's even gone as far as beating up people because they were afraid of their own self image.
I find that most people interpret "be yourself" as "be as unique as possible", so they end up striving to be different - or to at least appear as such - in any way that they can manage. I personally think that the best advice that you can give is "learn how to act in certain social settings". Seems vague, but it's a lot more appropriate and a lot more useful when dealing with middle/high/post-secondary schools.
Let's see your two options;Doclector said:
1. Be yourself and get beat up, but then after they turn 18, get them thrown in jail and continue on with your life.
or
2. Be a walking lie so you can fit in with intollerant assholes and have a mid life crisis because you lose sight of who you are along the way and never be truely happy.
Soo.... why on earth would you even concider #2?
Be yourself, but don't be a dick about it.
Be knowable, but not a know-it-all.
Peruse your interests, but remember most people aren't interested in them.
Be outgoing and friendly, not spastic or clingy.
And always remember this, a woman's vaginal depth is 3 to 5 inches on average. The g-spot is located about 50% of the way in at the top. 5 to 6 inches is enough to get the job done nicely, plus the outside is where a lot of girls get off. If you're really worried, date a short girl and always warm the engine first.
Be knowable, but not a know-it-all.
Peruse your interests, but remember most people aren't interested in them.
Be outgoing and friendly, not spastic or clingy.
And always remember this, a woman's vaginal depth is 3 to 5 inches on average. The g-spot is located about 50% of the way in at the top. 5 to 6 inches is enough to get the job done nicely, plus the outside is where a lot of girls get off. If you're really worried, date a short girl and always warm the engine first.
Let me quote my old teacher on Aristotle and say "there is no good moderation of a bullet to the head."Jamboxdotcom said:
OT: Fuck individuals. There needs to be a certain level of homogenuity for a society to function. Consider language. What if we all just decided to make up our own private, magical language that perfectly expresses the way we feel. Nobody would understand your beautiful expressive language and we'd all be shooting at each other with blow guns. Trust me, it would happen!
The nature of society demands the sacrifice of certain individualistic elements. Its a good sacrifice honestly, what is a man without his relationship to other people? All of that being said, there will occasionally be individuals with such energy and force of will that they warp society to fit them, even if its just a little bit. Truly such people are gods among men, able to brave the sea of drones and make their own voice heard. They certainly don't go unchallenged though.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that yes, you should be afraid to be yourself. Everyone should, and those with only their individualistic garbage should be afraid most of all. Those however with something worthwhile to contribute should be afraid to, but they should brave their fears and MAKE the world hear what they have to say.
I've found that not being yourself, and doing things like trying to please a boss who's bad at his job works out bad in the end anyways. So don't buckle down just cause someone is holding themselves above you. Because in the end they'll get their way and shaft you anyways.
I had two bosses at a Boy Scout Camp one year, they were the high adventure director and assistance director. despite trying to do well they still got the camp director to transfer me to woodcrafts (they like working on their own). Funny thing is The director and instructors there were the people they belittled and made fun of, in front of the campers. But things got better, since the woodcrafts people liked me. And to top it all off my old bosses let a 6 year old kid on the high adventure course that is only for 14 years old scouts and up, who have been prep-ing for that event all week. So he got into trouble in the end.
I had two bosses at a Boy Scout Camp one year, they were the high adventure director and assistance director. despite trying to do well they still got the camp director to transfer me to woodcrafts (they like working on their own). Funny thing is The director and instructors there were the people they belittled and made fun of, in front of the campers. But things got better, since the woodcrafts people liked me. And to top it all off my old bosses let a 6 year old kid on the high adventure course that is only for 14 years old scouts and up, who have been prep-ing for that event all week. So he got into trouble in the end.
Basicilly there is IMHO a huge difference between ebing yourself ie keeping your core values and "youness" and acting without any restraints. Part of me is my morals and my social mores, they are integral to me and part of my identity. Likweise I would imagine the same applies to you OP.
So as others have said there is no reason to act like an ass. Part of our identity is how we react to challenges and how we m,anage ourselves. This is linked to the dynamic of improvement that drives us forward, this whole thing of "That girl may have turned me down but by exercising more I'll do better next time". Always be prepared to improve yourself.
I tend to think though that you are a teen. Don't worry about it, everyone struggles with identity as a teenager. Personnally I would hope you take this as a lesson to be both diplomatic in your use of language and how much you reveal about yourself as well as possessing the strength of will to retain core aspectsa of your personality.
Or you could never differ and thus stand out for being the most boring person imaginable.
So as others have said there is no reason to act like an ass. Part of our identity is how we react to challenges and how we m,anage ourselves. This is linked to the dynamic of improvement that drives us forward, this whole thing of "That girl may have turned me down but by exercising more I'll do better next time". Always be prepared to improve yourself.
I tend to think though that you are a teen. Don't worry about it, everyone struggles with identity as a teenager. Personnally I would hope you take this as a lesson to be both diplomatic in your use of language and how much you reveal about yourself as well as possessing the strength of will to retain core aspectsa of your personality.
Or you could never differ and thus stand out for being the most boring person imaginable.
Being yourself is good advice when interpreted correctly.
As advice in general, WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN.
What does "being yourself" even entail? How can you NOT be yourself? I get that the idea is that it's better to live without peer pressure, but honestly so much of your life already is imitation.
I follow to the extent that I don't give a damn about fashion and social pressures. If you want to make fun of me because I don't obey arbitrary unsaid social rules, then screw you.
As advice in general, WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN.
What does "being yourself" even entail? How can you NOT be yourself? I get that the idea is that it's better to live without peer pressure, but honestly so much of your life already is imitation.
I follow to the extent that I don't give a damn about fashion and social pressures. If you want to make fun of me because I don't obey arbitrary unsaid social rules, then screw you.
if i would be myself i wouldn't be where i am today
i had to make a lot of drawbacks and suppress my real personality
and i will have to do it even more in the future
for some though it works perfectly because by accident their personality matches with social expectations
i had to make a lot of drawbacks and suppress my real personality
and i will have to do it even more in the future
for some though it works perfectly because by accident their personality matches with social expectations
From personal experience, you probably did this in either an aloof, condescending, arrogant, or dismissive (of others priorities) way.Doclector said:
It's what most nerds get wrong in highschool. Once I realised that smarter/more academic =/= better my life improved.
I usually be myself, but if I have something to gain from being someone else, I will leap at the opportunity.
It isn't that it's bad advice, it's just that people so often use it as an blame-shifting excuse when they're being a dickhead - "well, I'm just being myself; if you don't like it, that's your problem". Well, no, it's not. Much in the same way as people excuse their tactlessness and/or obnoxious views by saying "well, I'm just being honest!". There's things called decency and moderation, 'be yourself' is not licence to ignore them.
But, yeah: taken in the sense that it's usually intended - roughly "don't pretend to be something you're not for the benefit of others", it's absolutely sound advice.
But, yeah: taken in the sense that it's usually intended - roughly "don't pretend to be something you're not for the benefit of others", it's absolutely sound advice.
There's a standard and criteria for eveything, and each individual can choose to follow it or go against it. Most of the time going against the standards of society will lead to negative effects, but every now and then society is changed by rebellion towards the system of the norm.
Call it the Elvis Presley Syndrome.
Call it the Elvis Presley Syndrome.
Be yourself is good advise, but there should be different "yous" as it were, for example, I am my self at work but that doesn't mean that I act the same around my friends. It is know how to act in certain situations, it doesn't mean its not you just another side to you. people are not 1 dimensional creatures that have just one way of being