Poll: Conan the Barbarian... REMAKE!

[DazBurger]

Most of you know it, some of you love it, most of you hate it.
Im ofc talking about the old Conan the Barbarian.
Two films starring Arnold wearing leather-speedoes, swinging swords and banging women.

Im sure you have heard of it... But have you then heard about the remake?..!?!?

My guess is that you are now thinking:"But who could possible replace such an epic and utterly hilarious in all of his seriousness - actor like Arnold (fucking) Schwarzenegger?"

I dont know who COULD replace him...
But this is the guy who is going to give it a try.

Spoiler

Jason Momoa
The rasta-barbarian from Stargate Atlantis

And here all dressed up.

The only good thing I can say is... At least he is wearing pants... But thats about it.

 

[Rarhnor]

I want it, just so I can see the rest of the Conan fanboys squirm in pain.

 

[Matt_LRR]

This is not best in life

-m

 

[JRShield]

Any of these will do:

http://www.google.nl/images?q=stupid%20muscled%20guy%20with%20long%20hair&um=1&biw=1920&bih=872

 

[Cody211282]

This is not best in life

-m

Ditto, if your going to make a remake at least have a big name actor in it.

 

[Vhite]

I can see how he is going to be sparkly vampire in black loincloth who is armed with huge Final Fantasy like sword.
Still, I would like to see what would come out of it.

 

[Cherry Cola]

most of you hate it.

No, I believe most of us love it.

Conan the Barbarian is a cult phenomenon after all.

As for the remake: Bleh. Hollywood doesn't surprise me.

 

[zHellas]

This might work. I'm not really sure. Also, the guy they're making the new Conan looks more like a villain.

Oooh! What if Ahnold is brought back into the movie as the villain?

 

[Jack_Uzi]

It was fine in the '80's to watch as a kid. So are most things that have that hint of nostalgia to it. But some things are just good enough to remember and not bring them back to life to see it for the horror it could be.

 

[WanderingFool]

Makin a remake of Conan!?

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!

 

[OmegaXIII]

I simply cannot hate anything with Arnie in, if it's not good it just becomes hilarious, case in point Commando

As for the remake though, without Arnie i can't see it working tbh

 

[Eggsnham]

I say yes, just because it looks hilariously awesome.

 

[camazotz]

For all its non-canon content the original was (imo) the best swords & sorcery film of all time. Note two things: 1: most S&S films suuuuuuuuck. 2: Lord of the Rings was not swords & sorcery, but epic fantasy. Very few good barbarian S&S flicks have been made: Conan was one. Beastmaster wasn't too bad. I would argue that some quasi-historical films fit the mold (like The 13th Warrior) so I support any effort to expand this genre, which remains my favorite (yes yes yes I am a Conan fanboi I guess).

Anyway, I'll reserve judgement on the film until I see it. And since I know the odds of finding a guy with Schwarzenegger's physique to fill the role is slim to none (not without it sucking abyssmally....see the short-lived Conan TV series for an example!) I'll accept that a somewhat more modern interpretation of Conan will have to do.

But if it turns out the Cimmerian sparkles, I'm nuking Hollywood...!

 

[DazBurger]

This might work. I'm not really sure. Also, the guy they're making the new Conan looks more like a villain.

Oooh! What if Ahnold is brought back into the movie as the villain?

Sorry mate, the villains are already chosen.

Spoiler

Our fav Avatar bad-guy as the main baddie it seems.
Stephen Lang as Khalar Zym... He looks reaaaaaal arabian I guess?

And for some reason they originally placed Mickey Rourke as Conans father, but have now replaced hom with Ron Pearlman.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816462/
The IMDB of the film.

 

[camazotz]

There are so many cool conan stories why remake one when you could make a fresh one, and why the hell did they do this when Schwarzenegger was still acting? that new shrimp is not conan.

Imagine a "Gladiator" style epic filming of Hour of the Dragon....! That would be awesome.

Hell, I'd settle for a faithful adaptation of the Pool of the Black Ones or evensomething that stitches several of the shorter tales together (like Tower of the Elephant, which very roughly inspired some of the tower scenes in the original film, but only enough to really make me wish they'd do it right).

But yeah, I donteven think they're remaking the movie, so much as just adding more nonsense about Conan and his dad to the lore (Conan never had an attachment to his father in the stories, nor was his father the sort to go and get murdered). I think Hollywood writers can't handle a complex action character who does things because that's...just...What He Does...they feel they have to attach some nonsense to the character to serve as a drive and motive outside of "slaying your enemies, plundering their treasure and raping their women."

 

[DazBurger]

I think Hollywood writers can't handle a complex action character who does things because that's...just...What He Does...they feel they have to attach some nonsense to the character to serve as a drive and motive outside of "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."

Fixed it for ya

 

[Meggiepants]

Arg! This annoys me. There was nothing wrong with the first one. It's a campy story to begin with so what is the point of making a new campy movie out of it? The old one just gets better with time. It's so goofy it's good.

And I never cared for Grunt Momoa on Stargate. I know, it's shocking, but even Arnold has more acting range than this beefcake.

 

[Taranaich]

The idea of making a new Conan film based on one of the original stories, which are brilliant and form some of the foundations of the modern fantasy genre - that I would get behind. Tons of great stories, none of which have been adapted to film despite being cinematic and action-packed, and though there might be a few problems with continuity with Conan the Barbarian, I don't think people would mind too much.

However, remaking Conan the Barbarian - or worse, just getting a bunch of hacks to recycle the plot and characters, give them different names and appearances, and talking a bunch of garbage about being more "faithful" to the original stories - that deserves a Kill It With Fire approach. It not only alienates the Howard fans, but the Conan the Barbarian fans too, leaving nobody save possibly a small number of curious non-fans interested. Guess what Hollywood in its infinite wisdom is doing?