Poll: Confidence?

[tahrey]

TL;DR version:
Basically it puts me in mind of those who go "Depression? Buck up and get over it. I've felt sad before, but I put on my DVD of Transformers and felt a hell of a lot better almost immediately". No. You haven't actually been depressed. I was probably in a similar ignorant mindset before getting REALLY down. It is actually a medical condition ... it fucks with you on a PHYSICAL level. That's why antidepressants are needed for the worst case, though I'm glad I never quite needed that (one doc, a lot later, tried to get me on them when I was actually fairly stable; the box is still sealed at the back of the cupboard). It's not something you can think yourself out of - but the desire to no longer be in that state... no, it's not even that, but the realisation that no good can come of it, and a change could be interesting... plus the knowledge of how to remove yourself from it is definitely useful. Time, and work, and often help, is what's needed.

And I'm just glad I went through that and came to that realisation before one of my friends got it oh god so much worse, so I didn't end up being that dick who says "huh... what do you have to be sad about? cheer up, for fuck's sake".

You think you've had depression, you think you're missing confidence, heck - from a mistake i've made before with a friend's mother - you think you've had migranes. Oh no, you haven't. You'll know when you have. And you'll have no desire to ever be in that state again ... though that can be dangerous in itself if you don't have any knowledge of how to approach it other than "don't do that!!!". That's how you get phobias, and panic attacks, and avoidant behaviour; if you then realise that's where it's coming from, it may just be the trigger to get you angry enough at your betrayal by your own body and mind to briefly lift out of that state and resolve to get something done. Knowledge is power.

 

[Smooth Operator]

It is a choice, but it also a skill, in other words you need training to master it and negligence of training will lead to even greater confidence issues.

Let's say it's like dancing, it is a simple choice to do it or not, but if you are new to it you probably suck ass.

 

[Gruchul]

Confidence is not a choice. It is changeable, but you can't really force it that much, it will develop on its own. Bravery is a choice though, and the two things are linked to an extent.

 

[rutger5000]

snip...

First off I feel like I offended you, I want to apologize for that. I didn't mean to talk down on people who lack confidence.
At first I wanted to give this long explanation about how I see things, and try to defend my point. But before I posted I read your reply again, and I realized something. I don't understand you, and I doubt that you can understand me. We are looking at things from completely different angles. So I'll try something different, I'll try to open up myself further as I normally would, and then maybe you can understand what I meant to say.
When I need to face a challenge and I don't have the confidence for it. I reflect on each and every negative feeling that is the source of this un-confidence, this is a time consuming and painful process. Then I either use logic or lying to push all those feelings away (I've a lot of practice on this, so this goes down a lot quicker). After I'm done I'm confident, I 'maned up' and I dare to face the challenge, but eventually I'll be crashing back to reality and all those negative feelings are back. That doesn't matter though, because I've faced the challenge so I don't need the confidence anymore. It's a difficult thing to do, but I can do it. So for me it's a choice.
Last year I needed to do this on a daily basis and it was freaking terrible. I really felt depressed and tired the entire time. But I needed that confidence to make something of my live. So I pushed through.
Now a days I don't have to do it that often anymore. But the examples I gave all come from my own life and are less then a week old. (I could use logic to chase the fears away and that's easier, so it wasn't that bad.)
Now I was curious, am I alone in being able to create some kind of artificial confidence for a period of time. Or is everyone able to do it, and wouldn't that help to solve problems caused by lack of confidence.

 

[vento 231]

Nearly everything mental is overcomable, I was the most insecure person I had ever met two years ago, but if you tell yourself your good, you will naturally be awesome.