Played them both.... tough choice, both have story and stuff, I guess the characters are a bit more complex in DDO, lord of the rings is more fun I guess to roleplay, I saw a ton of guilds just singing songs and roleplaying and stuff, also it's more immersive as you can choose your place of origin and title.
I haven't bothered with either of them, so they are not my favorites.
Other than that they are pretty similar, they have interesting dungeons unlike wow ( yes really).
The first major dungeon in DDO you will stop a dragon that is being controlled by a evil wizard, you will face traps, oh god I love the traps and puzzles in that game, just thinking about it makes me want to go back.
Writting this I say DDO overall, because of the puzzles and nice story.Really, traps and dungeons are what set it apart, lord of the rings has story and immersion but... it could have been alot better , especially visualy.It all looks.... a bit rushed.