I'm another tee-totaller, but that wasn't always the case.
I remember, probably about ten years ago, I was at a party at a friends house. It was late and I was steaming. My friend Sam, thinking me easy prey in my inebriated state, challenged me to a game of Soul Edge. Despite having never played the game, I eagerly accpeted, a combination of cheap whisky and even cheaper larger fuelling my confidence.
Controller in hand, I picked a character, I think it was Voldo, and the match began. My inexperience soon got the better of me as my health was quickly whittled away. When my opponent asked if I wanted a rematch, I could see the impish glee in his broad face. With a grin that could only be described as 'shit-eating', I took up the controller again, picked another character and destroyed him.
Convinced it was simply a fluke, he tried again. Tried, and failed. I proceeded to decimate him in seven consecutive rounds until he threw the controller down in disgust and I roared in drunken triumph.
Incidentally, that's also how you dress up a quite dull anecdote