Poll: Do you get more flirty attention when you're in a relationship?

[WolfThomas]

So I've been in a relationship for about eight months now and I love my girlfriend very much, but I've started to notice something. Now I'm not the sharpest at picking up signs from the other sex, but I've noticed females respond far more positively than when I was single. And I was trying to work out why? For the record I'd never act on it, I just find it intriguing.

It's not simply has girlfriend therefore must be good enough to get her, as many don't know I have girlfriend until I very quickly bring it up in conversation. Partly it might be I now buy clothes with her advice so the day of faded jeans, runners and terrible shirts are over and I shave a lot more. But on the other hand I have put on a bit of relationship weight so there's that.

I think it might be that in single life at the back of my head when I talked to most women, I was considering them for a partner, so I would avoid disagreeing with them or joking about them so that I wouldn't risk offending them. Now because I've "already won" in a sense I don't really care about that, if they're talking shit I'll call them on and I'll give them a good-natured ribbing if they do something stupid. Which paradoxically probably makes me look more confident.

Or maybe my details have been uploaded to the global female hive-mind. I don't know.

So have you noticed this happening to you when you're in a relationship?

Appologies to the forever-alone crowd. It'll get better. Unless you're asexual, than I guess nothing to see here carry on living your life.

Edit: Took out the opposite sex bit for all the LBGT out there. Same question more or less attention from your target demographic when you're in a relationship.

 

[DugMachine]

Same amount really. Some women will try to flirt and I'll try and steer the conversation away from that or excuse myself as I don't enjoy flirting (even playfully) when I'm in a relationship.

 

[Fappy]

I don't really think it makes that much of a difference. I had a lot of girls hit on me/become interested in me while I was dating my first long term girlfriend likely because it took place over a two year period of time and I was coming into my own at the time. Now that I've been with my current girlfriend for well over a year I haven't really had many girls flirt with me or anything at all... none come to mind anyway.

 

[BeeGeenie]

I think it's fairly normal.

The fact that you're not interested in them would be subconsciously interpreted as a sign that you have higher social value than they do, and naturally they would want to get with that.

There's a reason people say "All the good ones are taken." It's a matter of how we perceive social status.

And nothing drives the price up like scarcity.

Captcha: cold shoulder. Yes captcha, I know that feel.

 

[Evil Top Hat]

I think it's fairly normal.

The fact that you're not interested in them would be subconsciously interpreted as a sign that you have higher social value than they do, and naturally they would want to get with that.

There's a reason people say "All the good ones are taken." It's a matter of how we perceive social status.

And nothing drives the price up like scarcity.

That was... surprisingly thoughtful.
I really don't have anything useful to add, as being a 16 year old that's short and looks like an 11 year old I don't get much interest from the opposite sex, I just felt compelled to highlight how true this is. It links in with the OP in many ways, that being disinterested and uncaring of somebody's feelings towards you may show in subtle ways, thereby placing yourself on a higher ground to them from a social standpoint.

It depends largely on the differences in how you act in the "single" or "taken" phases. If you're used to not caring what people think I imagine it would be much the same response, but if when single you find yourself trying to be nicer and more agreeable to women then I imagine that would make you appear less headstrong than you otherwise would.

 

[Chemical Alia]

I just got out of a nine-year relationship last week and am now single. I'll compare and contrast, but so far I haven't noticed anything different.

 

[Padwolf]

Hmm I'm not too sure, it kinda feels like I get more attention. It could just be I'm more aware of it. I don't know.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Not really... I'm a rather reticent individual when out at the best of times, so it's case of comparing not much with 'not much'. I hardly went out as it was when I was in a relationship... and even less when I'm single.

However, the reverse is true... I'm naturally chattier with girls/women who are either married or have boyfriends... *shrug*

 

[corvuscorrax]

I would say it has no real effect.

Most girls do not engage with me because I have a somewhat intimidating personality not to mention dashing good looks.

 

[Berithil]

Never been in a relationship so..

 

[EeveeElectro]

That's not surprising. When you first get into a relationship you start looking after yourself more to impress your spouse. I wear make-up and nice clothes but when I get comfortable I won't wear make-up unless going out somewhere fancy. Sometimes I won't shave my legs for a while either, LOL.
Also you start realising the attention more because most people want to be careful about not upsetting their partner.

I will say a lot of people I've known don't have much dignity when it comes to hitting on me and giving me unwanted attention. A lot don't know what no means either...

 

[XMark]

Yeah, this is a pretty well known phenomenon. I'm nerdy and awkward as hell, but when I was in a long-term relationship, the amount of female attention I was getting was actually kind of uncomfortable.

And of course, when I was single again, the strange magical attractiveness field around me dissipated.

But yeah, when you're not looking for someone I guess you're not quite as nervous around the opposite sex, and it makes for a passable imitation of confidence

 

[Phasmal]

I don't know.
To be honest I wish I could figure out when people are flirting with me in the first place, but usually I only realise someone was even the tiniest bit interested after I get told by someone else or after a laughable amount of time has passed.

But I guess its not likely because I tend to go most places with my boyfriend anyway.

 

[GTwander]

Of course.

Nothing gets a woman more interested in you than the scent of another woman.
It means they get to backstab and do dastardly things, which is the ultimate kink for them.

 

[MetalMagpie]

No. I get less attention when I'm in a relationship. This is probably because I stop flirting with people (which I sometimes do without really realising it when I'm single).

But I'm a woman. So maybe it works differently for men.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I think it has to do with comfort and confidence.

When a person is single, they're (typically) looking for a new relationship or hookup. While seeking a partner, we (humans) are generally a bit nervous and concerned with how we act - which often backfires, making a person seem less confident and therefore less attractive.

However, when a person is in a relationship, that person is no longer worried about impressing other people. The person in a relationship is confident in him or herself, and has no need to worry about what others thing. This air of confidence makes them seem more attractive.

I've seen this happen with both men and women, so it isn't just a "women are weird" thing guys.

No. I get less attention when I'm in a relationship. This is probably because I stop flirting with people (which I sometimes do without really realising it when I'm single).
But I'm a woman. So maybe it works differently for men.

It doesn't. However, if you intentionally stop flirting (why?) then that would also have a (negative) affect.

Also, to be fair, I've noticed that when I'm out with a male friend (even if we aren't in a relationship) I get less attention because guys register me as "taken". Phasmal said something similar above.

My comments above specifically refer to one on one conversations with no attempt to change the way one behaves.

 

[Tharwen]

I just got out of a nine-year relationship last week and am now single.

Oh wow... I won't pretend to understand what that's like, but I hope it's not going too badly for you.

-A complete stranger on the internet

 

[Kae]

Not sure, the only relationship I've had was in high school and when I was in high school all of the girls were always flirting with me, but not because they liked me, because they knew I didn't like it, I don't remember it increasing much though, in fact I'm pretty sure it was less because her friends stopped doing it, though I don't think this counts since it's sort off a strange situation and the intent was to either scare me or annoy me, so it probably doesn't count.
[sub][sub]I got mad if people touched me or called me cute, so of course everyone did it X_x[/sub][/sub]

As for now, well girls flirt with me much more than I'd like to, but then again anything's too much for me and I would rather if they didn't, in any case I don't really go to many social events, so I don't get a lot of flirting other than that girl that works at the grocery store nearby who offered to buy me, which I guess it's kinda flattering and it's clear that it was just a simple pick up line, but I found it kinda creepy.