Poll: Do you think spanking is wrong?
- Thread starter Durxom
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Yep, I'm riding on this train here. I was a little shit, I got the belt, slipper, cane, fist, boot and everything else and I'd say I turned out okay. Though I don't think any child should really have to go through that much and I'd never do anything like that. However a tap on the hand isn't something I have a problem with, not much of a problem with a good old spanking if there's a really good reason for it.child of lileth said:
I think discipline is necessary for raising a child. Even physical discipline from time to time. Some times just telling them off doesn't work. Especially when they realise those little threats are empty. I've seen it happen with some of the kids I grew up with whose parents didn't agree with physical discipline. Worked for a while and then they just turned on their parents, told them to "Fuck off" shoved them out of the way and at times even attacked them. Jeez if I ever attempted that I wouldn't be here talking to you today.
That being said I don't feel it should be used all the time and there should definitely be a line put down that you don't cross. Physical discipline should be used as a last resort only method. Some times it just crosses into child abuse.
While I've seen up close the opposite and the extremely harsh discipline I received never taught me that it's okay to hit others. I'd say the results vary between the child and the environment around them. As said in my above post, the friends I hung around with had parents who wouldn't lift a finger against their child and yet they where the ones bullying and attacking their own parents and many of these children now grown up are violent and some have even been sent to jail because of it. However the environment I grew up in was and still is full of crime.Jfswift said:
Exactly.child of lileth said:
The thing with kids is that they don't follow reason.
Sometimes they WONT listen to you no matter what you say or do, and Spanking them is the only way to get their Attention.
I don't think Spanking is wrong but, you cant abuse it.
I also think that after spanking your child you should sit down with them and make sure they understand why they were spanked.
I still remember jumping off the roof of my dads garage, when he told me to get down, I think I didn't even hit the ground he was already giving me a hiding lol. Ahhh happy days.
I don't think people should spank their child, it's not proven to be effective and there have been a few studies which show that it might make children more aggressive. I haven't heard any long term effects from good studies, and I don't think its the governments place to intervene if its not a significant danger to the child's well being.
"it" lol......Housebroken Lunatic said:
I believe its not necessary, but, desperate measures you know...i would physically punish my children if they misbehave, i would give them chances of course, repeated offense=the cane. When i was being brought up, the cane was the primary form of discipline. Teachers and parents use them extensively.
And yes OP, where i live now, its illegal to smack children here. There have been cases of this law being abused though. 1 that i remember particularly involved the mother being brought to court for punishing her child. Who tipped the coppers off????? Her beloved son of course.....
Yeah, sometimes it just needs to be done, like when my girlf- OH! This was about spanking your children >_>
Ehem... I wouldn't do it myself, but i guess that it's still necessary from time to time of the kid is completely hopeless and doesn't listen to words.
Ehem... I wouldn't do it myself, but i guess that it's still necessary from time to time of the kid is completely hopeless and doesn't listen to words.
No. I don't think hitting a child is right. Though, good lord, they make it hard some times...
I was spanked as a child. Didn't enjoy it and all it did was make me fear my dad. I'm not sure if it contributed, but I have depression, so... Yeah.
I was spanked as a child. Didn't enjoy it and all it did was make me fear my dad. I'm not sure if it contributed, but I have depression, so... Yeah.
Beating your kids to teach them manners should not be banned. It's parents right to raise their kids however they feel is best. Kids are not reasonable creatures. If you don't show them who's in charge they cannot possibly grow up to be responsible (there are exceptions). I bet these adults that are against beating kids were abused by their parents and they don't understand shit about normal families. I'm proud to say that each time I got the belt I deserved it. Kids have to learn that for bad behavior there is a suitable punishment.
Hitting isn't nearly effective as using their name in a stern voice. The problem with kids isn't the kids, it's the parents. The parents don't know how to discipline them with body language and tone alone, so the kids run around doing whatever they so please.
I watch parents today compared to how I was raised, and I laugh sometimes. Moms and dads say their names like "Katie, don't do that!" But not in a stern way. They do it near or exactly the same tone as "aww, you just said something stupid, which was cute."
The children take it AS such, and don't know they're doing wrong. Children don't interpret words, they interpret tone.
Even still when my mom calls me, I can tell if she has a headache and I need to shut up and just listen to her talk. When we're trained by our parents, we won't run out of control.
Another thing is that parents can't pick their battles right; a mom I know won't let her kid do ANYTHING, most likely out of fear. The kid is about 11 months old, and she won't let him bang a spoon on a table. Why? It's noisy.
Sorry, but he's not even 1. He won't know why, nor can he ASK why. It'll just confuse him. If you use "NAUGHTY!" tone all the time, the kid won't get what is worse than the next. If you never discipline, then you're screwed as well.
Hitting is only justifiable if you've done ALL these things and the kid doesn't get it. If the violence is like, spanking, go for it. If it's touching the kid in the side of the head to get him to look at you while you talk to him, then go for it. If it's hitting the kid for no reason, THAT'S where the line is drawn. It's all about picking your battles.
I watch parents today compared to how I was raised, and I laugh sometimes. Moms and dads say their names like "Katie, don't do that!" But not in a stern way. They do it near or exactly the same tone as "aww, you just said something stupid, which was cute."
The children take it AS such, and don't know they're doing wrong. Children don't interpret words, they interpret tone.
Even still when my mom calls me, I can tell if she has a headache and I need to shut up and just listen to her talk. When we're trained by our parents, we won't run out of control.
Another thing is that parents can't pick their battles right; a mom I know won't let her kid do ANYTHING, most likely out of fear. The kid is about 11 months old, and she won't let him bang a spoon on a table. Why? It's noisy.
Sorry, but he's not even 1. He won't know why, nor can he ASK why. It'll just confuse him. If you use "NAUGHTY!" tone all the time, the kid won't get what is worse than the next. If you never discipline, then you're screwed as well.
Hitting is only justifiable if you've done ALL these things and the kid doesn't get it. If the violence is like, spanking, go for it. If it's touching the kid in the side of the head to get him to look at you while you talk to him, then go for it. If it's hitting the kid for no reason, THAT'S where the line is drawn. It's all about picking your battles.
Call me narrow minded but I believe that if your child seriously angers you then you should make the little bugger pay! If he then associates the action he performed (angering you, or whatever) with pain, then he won't do it again.
Spanking should, of course, be a last resort but sometimes it is required. I was spanked and I like to think I turned out alright.
Spanking should, of course, be a last resort but sometimes it is required. I was spanked and I like to think I turned out alright.
Bullshit you try "sitting down" with a child under the age of 12 who will automatically listen and understand. If you are dealing with a two year old they will not "just sit down", im fifteen and I know this. Granted there are some children who might (and i stress that word) be quiet for five minutes and listen but for the most part its spank or spoil.
Then apparently her son (despite all the odds) had learned his lesson about how a civilized society works. If people hit other people then you can call the cops and they will arrest he people who use violence against others and put them through trial. Kudos to the kid.Luftwaffles said:
If our society finds physical violence to be unacceptable unless it's being used as self-defense, then why the hell do some parents find it fit to teach their children that it's okay to use violence in order to "teach people some manners" or some similar silly reason?
NEWSFLASH! It's NOT okay to use violence to teach anyone manners. We even have laws against it, and people get sent to jail for breaking these laws every day.
Why should parents be exempt from such laws? They're people just as everyone else. As are their children.
There are plenty of other things to do to get through to a kid that misbehaves than violence. Violence is a desperate measure, and if someone can't find a better solution than acting out of desperation then they shouldn't have kids at all...
Yeah, it's wrong. It's child abuse. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that a community as "evolved" as The Escapist isn't up to par on this issue.
