Poll: Do you want an apology?

[C14N]

I was bullied when I was 11. There were only about 5 kids in my class and about 10 in the class ahead of me. Most kids in both class were from a council estate and they had a recent infatuation with the Mafia and the IRA (one of the guys in the class ahead was Northern Irish). For some reason they completely decided to make up that I was English (I'm not, family history is 100% Irish as far back as we can trace) and that I had an undying allegiance to the crown and I got bullied about it a lot. Sometimes attacked. I didn't get badly hurt but it's pretty intimidating when you're a small 11 year old and all the older kids keep talking about stuff they're going to do to you.

In my class there was just me an one other guy who weren't council estate kids and the other guy was huge for his age. Also, I was quite well off and bright in a largely anti-intellectual class (I don't say that to be a snob, I was once literally called "smart" as an insult). Those kids were a bunch of dickheads who just wanted some kind of power fantasy to live out based on a stunted knowledge of movies and politics and I quite enjoy the fact that as adults, none of them ever amounted to anything because that's what I told myself at the time to help me not be affected by them.

So no, I don't want an apology, I really just prefer spiting them. Maybe that makes me a bad person but even to this day if I was to hear from my mother when I go back home that one of them had been found dead I wouldn't even feign sadness.

 

[LongAndShort]

Nah, I'm far too forgiving. I let things go and rarely hold a grudge. If someone who bullied me in the past came up to me and said sorry, I'd probably not know what it was about and ask what the fuck for.

Meanwhile I've been a dickhead to a lot of people (if not necessarily a bully), and I reckon if I saw them again it would only be right if I apologised. I tend to hold onto the bad shit I do to others rather than the bad shit done to me.

 

[Insanely Asinine]

To some degree yes. To another degree no. Yes it would help with getting over said obsession and hinder my destructive appetite. No because my self motive seclusion from their torment made me who I am today a very bitter, spiteful being who is obsessed with destruction.

 

[Somnambulistic]

I was bullied as a kid up until part way through middle school because I was the fat girl, etc. I don't think I'd want an apology, because I'm okay for the most part. Yes, it gave me some self confidence issues, but despite that I'm alright in the end.

However, I think it would be nice to know that someone did eventually see that they were being a dick.

I feel that way about everyone that does something even slightly dickish xD Cut me off recklessly from getting "your" parking space when I'm trying to exit the parking lot? Hope you feel a little bit dumb for that later. I say it in passing and would giggle if I ever knew.

I know that I do reflect sometimes and think about things that I've said or done in the past and sometimes I do feel like an ass afterwards if I said something insensitive or mean unknowingly, or if I realize later that so and so was right about whatever we were fussing about. So, I've no doubt that others do it too at one point or another.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

Adults can bully others too. I've experienced some of their shit firsthand.

No, I don't want an apology. I've taken shit from people in school, and random fucking strangers most of my life. I want to know that the person suffered worse than I did, because of their behaviour. I like the thought of revenge, and hate humans something fierce.

 

[ResonanceSD]

actually. no. i feel we kind of broke even. i kinda sorta gathered a large crowd of his other victims and together we (literally) chased him out of town. HA!

So you did this




I'm not sure if I want an apology, kids can be shitheads, but some improve over time.


The one who I get to feel smug about is the really cool guy in school who got all the girls, yeah, he's now a fry cook at weekend markets.

 

[ResonanceSD]

Though, a pretty significant moment I experienced was when I had to catch 2 buses to and from work, it would take me an hour and $12 in fees each day. When I saw one of my bullies run up to me and asked me how to read the bus time table, I did show him where to go as a silent victory. Bullying is just a life experience and is going to give you emotional intelligence and life skills.

I would have sent the fucker to the other end of town. Kudos to you.

 

[Zombie Sodomy]

Reading all these comments makes me very happy I was tall and lived in an area where this stuff never really happens.

 

[Mikeyfell]

Not really...
If I ever saw him again I'd probably just break his neck (And should have done a long time ago because well, let's face it no one would miss him and it would make me feel better)

If he apologized that would be weird. It would imply some sort of growth on his part and if society can give a damaged little fuck that sort of a second chance, WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I JUST MAKE EVERYONE'S LIFE A LIVING HELL!!

Hmmm? Oh, did I say that out loud. No... I'm not still bitter about shit that happened in highschool, and I'm certainly not the type to hold a grudge.

I'm beyond thinking that actions have consequences, but I still like to think that Karma is a real thing. So maybe he'll never amount to anything, or some horrible tragedy will befall him, or maybe he'll turn over a new leaf, fall in love, get married, have a couple of beautiful children, and then they all get brutally murdered by someone who isn't me, because I'm not holding a grudge or anything like that....

 

[Lynxan]

I had a bad time for the first 8 years of school and if I even ran into some one from then I don't think they would know me or vice versa. While that crap had been a part of my life then, I've long since ditched who any of them where in my mind and it just don't matter to me.

If some how one of them found me and tried to say they where sorry, I don't really care enough one way or the other to take it for real or not. They might had been dicks back in the day, but that's why I'm not a dick myself. Good or bad, life is life and most have to move on.

 

[Adamantium93]

If they apologize, than I can't assume they're lesser beings disguised as humans. If they apologize, it shows they can feel regret, hence there must be some small part of them that is human and possibly redeemable. I'd rather not know.

 

[Weaver]

Yes, I would. There is facing a bully once, and facing a bully every day.
I can't put anything better than Shane Koyczan.

 

[Gormech]

Why ask for an apology when I can sit back with that grin on my face while I hand them their weekly paycheck over and over.

 

[asap]

I am thankful to bullies and many other people who have given me hardship. Rising to their challenges has made me a better person. I am funnier and a more interesting person because of them.

Without bullies I never would have realized I could make people laugh simply by pointing out some obvious flaws in some other person. Combining with simple fact with creativity has made me a well like person, which is quite ironic if you think about it.

They also taught me that I had to be strong, at least on the surface, as it makes other people feel safe. Its the sort of social skill which helped be a good at presentations, long with helping me get a girlfriend. So basically people who should apologize are those who are too weak to affect a challenge which a bully respects and learns from, or maybe it is the people who tell children that they are always right to express themselves as they want. Modulating your behavior due to people near you is normal, and helps you become more empathetic person. People who complain about bullies are generally kinda arseholes who never considered thinking from the point of view of their abuser.

The comments of either a feeling of hate, or more worrying, just apathy to wards their bully, has made my view even stronger that the bullies should never be forced to apologize. Only if the bullied person can naturally attain this through their personal growth should it be given.

 

[Khanht Cope]

I am thankful to bullies and many other people who have given me hardship. Rising to their challenges has made me a better person. I am funnier and a more interesting person because of them.

Without bullies I never would have realized I could make people laugh simply by pointing out some obvious flaws in some other person. Combining with simple fact with creativity has made me a well like person, which is quite ironic if you think about it.

They also taught me that I had to be strong, at least on the surface, as it makes other people feel safe. Its the sort of social skill which helped be a good at presentations, long with helping me get a girlfriend. So basically people who should apologize are those who are too weak to affect a challenge which a bully respects and learns from, or maybe it is the people who tell children that they are always right to express themselves as they want. Modulating your behavior due to people near you is normal, and helps you become more empathetic person. People who complain about bullies are generally kinda arseholes who never considered thinking from the point of view of their abuser.

The comments of either a feeling of hate, or more worrying, just apathy to wards their bully, has made my view even stronger that the bullies should never be forced to apologize. Only if the bullied person can naturally attain this through their personal growth should it be given.

I'm holding hope that this is satire.

 

[Connor Lonske]

i'm sorta about as mad about this sorta thing but in the other direction. i'd rather beat the crap out of my bully then have them apologize.

although unlike you if someone thinks an apology is ok i'm not gonna get bent out of shape over it. people have the right to feel the way they feel about things, if you don't care that's fine but no need to get so pissy about it as if you felt like they did eg very upset. sorta makes you sound like the grinch from that dr seuss book.

 

[MrMixelPixel]

I didn't have too much of a hard time in school, bully wise. However, if some of the kids from my elementary school apologized for being jerks, I suppose that'd be nice, even if I don't care about it much.

 

[Your Gaffer]

I was never a victim of constant bullying, but there were a few incidents here and there growing up. I understand of course that the people were either young and stupid, some with problems at home, or just assholes. In any case I don't feel I need an apology or that it would mean much to me.

Of course if some specific person or group of people had constantly bullied me growing up maybe it would be a different thing all together. In any case I am pretty happy with my life today and don't ruminate on any childhood issues.

Perhaps an apology from my parents for some of the stuff they did...

 

[floppylobster]

The person who I would require an apology would be in immediate family. And the bullying would be more classed of as abuse. I don't know if I want an apology because it would only bring it all up again. But I can never have a relationship with that person until they acknowledge it.

I have bullied a few people myself to some degree. And when I did it I was taking out frustrations brought on by the what I'm taking about above. At the time I apologized to those who I bullied (the best I can). But I still feel bad about it.

Another guy who kicked my face once in apologized to me a few weeks later. I felt less scared that it would happened again but after being on both sides of bullying I couldn't really blame him. I accepted the apology and moved on. I don't think I'd be worried about it today if he hadn't apologized. I would just accept that he had issues that he took out on me.

 

[Parallel Streaks]

I was kind of too much of a social-weaver to actually get bullied, smoking kind of helped. It's a filthy habit, but every dickhead with a chip on his shoulder smoked, and for some reason the smokers had a weird camaraderie. I have apologised to people in the past I might've been less than polite to, though. Mainly kids who were probably having a shittier time than I was with school, but I was too wrapped up in my petty problems to really think about it.

Generally fights and stuff were always even-handed in my school, though. Guys just fought occasionally, nobody was really targeted.