Poll: Drinking and social acceptance.
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Getting over shyness and just being yourself is a less "real" display of social skill than getting drunk?Delicious said:
In Australia drinking is seen both as a social norm, and in some cases, as a social necessity. I don't get the appeal of getting wasted, but I've been known to enjoy small amounts of alcohol sporadically, like once every three months a glass of wine.
The social factor can be put down to insecurity in many ways, and escapism. People get utterly smashed with the intention of avoiding or forgetting the occurrences of their time. Others do it because if they don't they have no way of taking a step back from the awkward nature of their person and relaxing in company. To slow down the spread of alcoholism, it'd be better to work at this root of the problem than taxing the hell out of it.
The social factor can be put down to insecurity in many ways, and escapism. People get utterly smashed with the intention of avoiding or forgetting the occurrences of their time. Others do it because if they don't they have no way of taking a step back from the awkward nature of their person and relaxing in company. To slow down the spread of alcoholism, it'd be better to work at this root of the problem than taxing the hell out of it.
For shy people, being themselves would be being shy. Strange I know. And no, I didn't say that getting drunk was a social skill (though holding your booze is), I said that it is no worse than being forced to interact with someone via school, job etc.Antidamacus said:
Actually I find the idea of ranking things in measures of social difficulty pretty funny.
Hell, just the term "social difficulty" makes me giggle a bit.
If you consider shyness a problem (you obviously do or wouldn't consider drinking to alleviate it), there are ways to improve it (I don't know if you can remove it).Delicious said:
The end result is the same: removal of shyness. One way, drinking, doesn't remove shyness, it just hides it behind alcohol.
I would prefer people work on self improvement (like people do all the time with things like weight, addiction, spending habits).
Wouldn't that be a crazy world, where you were you? Really you, not you inebriated. Where you can say "I don't need to be shy" instead of "Oh noes, a stranger, gimme some booze so they like me!"?
But the major point in this that those who don't drink somehow don't get shyness, or social interaction. Or they don't like to party, is just weird.
I mean for pete's sake, I was shy! No alcohol, but fixing what I didn't like and now I'm not shy! No liver damage, no drunken hooking up with people I would regret sober, no having to take a cab or let my friends drive me (or drunk driving). What a crazy concept!
Most of the time, the people in my life are accepting of my not drinking. Excluding the occasional girlfriend who really wants to see me lose control (seriously), most people I've met don't care too awful much.
But, part of that is also that I've pared back my disdain for people who do drink. It takes some measure of the teetotaler being a dick about it for him to really get a backlash against his choice (in my experience). Any time people think they're being judged, they're going to dislike the person they see as being judgmental. If you present it as "I just don't choose to", that's different from "drinking is stupid."
For a long while I presented the latter, until I finally realized that I honestly just didn't care. I didn't like spending time with drunks, and most of my friends aren't drinkers (certainly not heavy drinkers), so it's not a culture I'm part of.
But, part of that is also that I've pared back my disdain for people who do drink. It takes some measure of the teetotaler being a dick about it for him to really get a backlash against his choice (in my experience). Any time people think they're being judged, they're going to dislike the person they see as being judgmental. If you present it as "I just don't choose to", that's different from "drinking is stupid."
For a long while I presented the latter, until I finally realized that I honestly just didn't care. I didn't like spending time with drunks, and most of my friends aren't drinkers (certainly not heavy drinkers), so it's not a culture I'm part of.
In my first post I admitted that I was working on being a bit more shy, as I feel that is more truthful to myself. Somehow I've tricked myself into being yet another arrogant asshole that spouts his unsolicited opinion off at every opportunity, and I don't neccesarily like that image. So no, I think being shy is just fine. If the person being shy doesn't want to be shy for an evening, he can take a drink or two and that is fine too.Antidamacus said:
I liked the paradox of "you [being] you" and your implication that everyone should work on self improvement (and thus, you being who you want to be) though. Especially considering that I'm currently doing the opposite, reverting to a state more introverted to tear down a facade of false confidence that i've built up, like a child with blocks, over the years.
I was born with a disease that crippled my liver so taking a drink or two could become fatal quickly. However drinking just doesn't seem to be worth it anyhow. I'm to addicted to Coca-Cola anyway.
People who drink are fine as long as they don't do it to get horribly smashed because it's "more fun that way"
People who drink are fine as long as they don't do it to get horribly smashed because it's "more fun that way"
I drink VERY rarely, 5 or so times a year sounds about right. As much as I hate to admit it, it IS a big part of social acceptance, at least at university. I wish it could be some other way, but that's just life.
I drink casually. If I'm out with friends and everyone's drinking, I'll get myself a Rum and Coke, maybe 2.. I don't drink to excess.. I don't drink often either, so those 2 rums will make me feel just right.
as for people not drinking.. I really don't care
as for people not drinking.. I really don't care
Lot's of interesting responses. Here's one in particular I'd like to address:
But I don't feel like I'm missing anything. To me, it seems that to "miss" something, I'd first have to enjoy it. I don't enjoy alcohol. Never let it be said that I didn't try, but I simply have a strong aversion to bitter tastes (and this extends to things like cooked vegetables, certain soft drinks, etc.).
It is true, though, that I sometimes feel like if I drank, it'd be easier for me to meet new people (strong introvert here). But honestly, would that really be worth paying for, ingesting, and then dealing with the other consequences of something I find to be disgusting? My conclusion was that it wouldn't be worth it, and that I'm content with my choice.
As much as I'm a non-drinker, I can see your point. When my housemates and I do something together (on nights where they don't get completely plastered), they generally have a beer or two - and they seem to enjoy it.implodingMan said:
But I don't feel like I'm missing anything. To me, it seems that to "miss" something, I'd first have to enjoy it. I don't enjoy alcohol. Never let it be said that I didn't try, but I simply have a strong aversion to bitter tastes (and this extends to things like cooked vegetables, certain soft drinks, etc.).
It is true, though, that I sometimes feel like if I drank, it'd be easier for me to meet new people (strong introvert here). But honestly, would that really be worth paying for, ingesting, and then dealing with the other consequences of something I find to be disgusting? My conclusion was that it wouldn't be worth it, and that I'm content with my choice.
I'm at uni and find that although drinking is a big part of life here I wouldn't describe it at all as being necessary for social acceptance, I haven't drank since I was 14 (I lost a game chess after a couple of drinks, wasn't going to let that happen again, oh no...) but I've found nearly everyone respects or at the least accepts my choice, especially as I have the attitude that people can choose to do whatever they want - I have absolutely no problem with people who drink and they tend to have no problem with me so it all works fine, I just like the fact I spend less money!
I will drink in social settings with family and friends and to sample the new drinks they bring (my friends usually bring Absinthe and other interesting drinks I would never consider buying myself). At the very least, we can talk about the new wine and other drink we just tried as a conversation ice breaker.
But if I don't want to drink, we can still socialize.
But if I don't want to drink, we can still socialize.
