Get her to go to a doctor. If this gets bad enough she could end up in the hospital, and possibly die.
Poll: Eating Problem.
- Thread starter Riobux
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Tell her that the best (healthiest) way to lose weight is to diet and exercise. Not starve yourself like an idiot. Tough love.
Yes, this and other advice similar to this. Remind her that she's supposed to eat small meals whenever she gets hungry. Go out for a jog with her, or DDR for an hour or so. Be sure to tell her that she's correct in drinking milk and water; if she's anything like me, she'll appreciate that little bit of diplomacy.Duck Sandwich said:
Make her exercise.
Lots.
Then she will have no reason not to eat and will also lose weight.
For further info, drop by and see us [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/The-Escapist-Fitness-Club]!
Lots.
Then she will have no reason not to eat and will also lose weight.
For further info, drop by and see us [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/The-Escapist-Fitness-Club]!
At a very basic level dieting doesn't work, nor does simply cutting out the food.
Your body gets used to it and simply stores more- whatever you're currently at the longer you stay there, the more your body accepts that as "normal."
9/10ths of staying healthy is portion control. There's nothing wrong with a burger, or fried chicken. There's a lot wrong with having it any more than maybe once a week, if that, or a one pound burger. Your portions should match your physical activity. If you're a colossal nerd and most of your day is spent either in front of a computer, a circuit board, or a TV you should probably be eating a fairly tame diet- small quantities of simple grains, veggies, fruit, ect and only the leanest of meats like white meat chicken and fish. If you're working like a farmer (Literally about 5-6 hours of strenuous work a day) you're probably alright eating like one too. Eggs and bacon for breakfest, beef for dinner, ect.
That last tenth? Staying with whatever you do, and not taking shortcuts. Dietary supplements? Just say no. They seldom do anything, and they encourage dependency because, as I mentioned earlier, your body eventually just accepts it as "normal." Generally liquids are bad for you. The human body is odd in that it has a harder time processing liquid fats and calories than in solids. Drink skim milk, or 2% if you insist, avoid drinks like Orange juice and lemonade unless it's mostly natural (IE: no sugar added, nothing fancy, ect) and so on.
Your body gets used to it and simply stores more- whatever you're currently at the longer you stay there, the more your body accepts that as "normal."
9/10ths of staying healthy is portion control. There's nothing wrong with a burger, or fried chicken. There's a lot wrong with having it any more than maybe once a week, if that, or a one pound burger. Your portions should match your physical activity. If you're a colossal nerd and most of your day is spent either in front of a computer, a circuit board, or a TV you should probably be eating a fairly tame diet- small quantities of simple grains, veggies, fruit, ect and only the leanest of meats like white meat chicken and fish. If you're working like a farmer (Literally about 5-6 hours of strenuous work a day) you're probably alright eating like one too. Eggs and bacon for breakfest, beef for dinner, ect.
That last tenth? Staying with whatever you do, and not taking shortcuts. Dietary supplements? Just say no. They seldom do anything, and they encourage dependency because, as I mentioned earlier, your body eventually just accepts it as "normal." Generally liquids are bad for you. The human body is odd in that it has a harder time processing liquid fats and calories than in solids. Drink skim milk, or 2% if you insist, avoid drinks like Orange juice and lemonade unless it's mostly natural (IE: no sugar added, nothing fancy, ect) and so on.
I'd say the doctor thing but with the way medical attention works in the states... I guess you have to look for other options. How about getting a friend you know in America to keep an eye on her? And if it gets really bad, take a collection from all your friends and try to get her medical attention.
Don't let her destroy herself!
Don't let her destroy herself!
Not to trivialize what's going on, but it takes a lot more than a crash diet to have anorexia.
Perhaps you can prepare healthy meals to share or plan active activities together?
I'm going to chime in with the get her to the doctor bit, but not because you think she had an eating disorder. She needs to learn about ways to manage her weight, and needs to know that what she is doing now will only backfire. How about a trip to a nutritionist?
ETA: Wait, you guys are an ocean apart? What's this girl doing telling you what she is eating. I would definitely go with the "She's crying for help with her weight issues" rather than having an eating disorder. Either way, if you care about her I can understand that you want her to get help. Being in england she's got a lot of resources at her finger tips. Get her to a nutritionist who can help her plan to lose weight in a sustainable way.
Look, I know I come off as cocky and all knowing, but I have been around eating disorders for a long time(hospital, programs, therapy) as well as people so desperate to lose weight that they don't know where to turn so they try something drastic and fail. You can help her - but one bad thing to do is tell her she has an eating disorder. She might start to idealize the idea and this will get in the way of her losing weight healthy.
One thing I was always told by doctors and survivors is that eating disorders have very little to do with food.
Perhaps you can prepare healthy meals to share or plan active activities together?
I'm going to chime in with the get her to the doctor bit, but not because you think she had an eating disorder. She needs to learn about ways to manage her weight, and needs to know that what she is doing now will only backfire. How about a trip to a nutritionist?
ETA: Wait, you guys are an ocean apart? What's this girl doing telling you what she is eating. I would definitely go with the "She's crying for help with her weight issues" rather than having an eating disorder. Either way, if you care about her I can understand that you want her to get help. Being in england she's got a lot of resources at her finger tips. Get her to a nutritionist who can help her plan to lose weight in a sustainable way.
Look, I know I come off as cocky and all knowing, but I have been around eating disorders for a long time(hospital, programs, therapy) as well as people so desperate to lose weight that they don't know where to turn so they try something drastic and fail. You can help her - but one bad thing to do is tell her she has an eating disorder. She might start to idealize the idea and this will get in the way of her losing weight healthy.
One thing I was always told by doctors and survivors is that eating disorders have very little to do with food.
Yeah, that is anorexia, agree with posters above. If you have access to her PC (if she has one) have a quick check in bookmarks and histories - there are a lot of "Pro-Ana" anorexia groups on the web encouraging people to behave this way. She needs to have proper information on the science behind weight loss. She is not even feeding basal metabolic rate which means her body will attack itself and then when/if she does cheat the cheating will be worse and the mental response to it will be devastating.
If she is of the right sort of age (under 18) then you might want to mention to her folks now and see if you can stop this problem really going nuts - if it is expensive now it will be a lot worse in 6 months if she continues this way.
If she is at college there might be support groups.
But this needs to be stopped as soon as possible.
show her this:
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/
I guessed her age at 17 but could be wrong, that calculator puts someone of her height and weight with a resting calorie consumption of 2100kcal. That is the energy consumed if you don't even get out of bed. That means she she is always burning energy so she is allowed to eat and should eat something balanced or her hair will get fucked up, her skin will get fucked up, her fingernails will become brittle and snap and her internal organs will suffer.
There is plenty of positive, encouraging websites out there. She can get appropriate information - but it takes a will and if she doesn't have the will and even with the facts laid out right in front of her (assuming she isn't a moron) she insists on following an anorexic lifestyle then if I was you buddy, I would walk the fuck away. Being with someone anorexic can be described as being like with an alcoholic. They dedicate themselves to their one need even if they know it is destroying them. You don't need that in your life. Cruel, perhaps. But the only way that some people can be helped is if they will help themselves.
If she is of the right sort of age (under 18) then you might want to mention to her folks now and see if you can stop this problem really going nuts - if it is expensive now it will be a lot worse in 6 months if she continues this way.
If she is at college there might be support groups.
But this needs to be stopped as soon as possible.
show her this:
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/
I guessed her age at 17 but could be wrong, that calculator puts someone of her height and weight with a resting calorie consumption of 2100kcal. That is the energy consumed if you don't even get out of bed. That means she she is always burning energy so she is allowed to eat and should eat something balanced or her hair will get fucked up, her skin will get fucked up, her fingernails will become brittle and snap and her internal organs will suffer.
There is plenty of positive, encouraging websites out there. She can get appropriate information - but it takes a will and if she doesn't have the will and even with the facts laid out right in front of her (assuming she isn't a moron) she insists on following an anorexic lifestyle then if I was you buddy, I would walk the fuck away. Being with someone anorexic can be described as being like with an alcoholic. They dedicate themselves to their one need even if they know it is destroying them. You don't need that in your life. Cruel, perhaps. But the only way that some people can be helped is if they will help themselves.
I find the problem isn't anyone being offended, it's that someone will think "that deserves reporting" without actually being offended and you suffer for it. It sucks, but i've seen it happen enough times to know it happensdududf said:God forbid some one is offended.Demon ID said:haha that it would, and I like what you put as the pre spoiler checkdududf said:Scare the shit out of em. Fear is a good motivator.Demon ID said:Might I suggest you spoiler that image? I personally found it abit eww so undoubtedly someone will find it offensive and report you etc etc. Because you know, people like to report anythingdududf said:
But I will agree with you, surely pictures of things like that will should kick start the need for healthy eating.
And sure, I'll do that.
I might care.
For half a second.
Well, apparently, both. She used to be "just not hungry" but now she's trying to avoid food like mad despite her body obviously showing signs of hunger. Another part that really concerns me is she views eating as out-right disgusting. She understands it's a natural process but she's comparing it to vomiting and defecating.lilmisspotatoes said:
True, but it's more the mentality that scares me more than the act it's self. How she views eating as disgusting, how she's trying to starve herself for days and how she has a history of depression anyway. It's really things like that. If it was "oh, I'm going to lose weight in a stupid fashion! Hope for the best!" I could most likely dismiss it as just a crazy idea.Doctor VonSexMachine said:
She told me of this week's eating habits in a conversation that cropped up about how she, apparently, ate too much this week. I think she also gained something like 3 pounds as well. She also concluded that people shouldn't eat any more than four times a week. I wish she was in England though, partly because then she'd be able to use the free healthcare and get a nutritionist to help her.
Anyway, thanks for the help and the advice everyone. By the way, if anyone wanted me to pass a message to her, by all means post it up. I know the popular belief is to take her to a doctor (which is not really advised, a nutritionist may be better), but due to financial problems, she can't. Some people have suggested that it's full out attention seeking, but I feel that it's best to take it more seriously than to pass it off as attention seeking. I'd rather possibly fuel the behaviour (via look at me! look at me! look at me!) than ignore her and end up with her actually destroying herself completely. In a way, it's a case of "damned if you do, damned if you don't". At least if I do, I wouldn't feel as bad if it goes to hell and ends up fuelling her than if I don't and she does it. Better to try than not?
I'll see if I can convince her to get some kind of help through a free group or some free hotline (even if she doesn't like phone). Even if it's just an internet forum for her to post on. Again thanks, and I'll be checking this topic often still.