Poll: Ever been in Love?

[Communist partisan]

2 real times... every motherfucking time I got thrown away like a *****, fuck love... Booze, smokes and 1 night stands work for me.

 

[Phantomess]

Problem is, every guy that I fall for (then in love with) always ends up being a complete jerk about it. I think that just goes to prove that my taste in guys is flawed. I can admit it, I'm probably one of those girls who inevitably choses the devil she doesn't know.

Case 1: My first serious boyfriend. Alarmingly charming, good looking, intelligent... and psychotic. Scratched up my favourite CD because he thought I was going to leave him for the singer (who at the time was an internationally famous pop star). *facepalm* It took me two years to get out of that one.

Case 2: The guy I am sort of finished with/never was with now. There was mutual infatuation (despite a rather significant age gap of six years - I'm older) on both sides, but then his ex gets to town and he spends the first two nights telling me its over... before going back to her and the first I knew about it was him telling me that they were out on a date and he'd see me next week. Needless to say, I told him EXACTLY what I thought about his jackassery.

So yeah, before they turn into idiots, I don't mind being in love. It's rather nice, actually. It's the part that - for me, at least - comes afterwards that makes me sit back and think "Dear God, what the HELL was I thinking?"

 

[Cowabungaa]

While I've been infatuated multiple times, I only really was in love once. Sadly, to both our regrets, it didn't work out. Maybe in the future, some day, who knows, but I'm not waiting for it nor expecting it.

I'll have to keep looking and waiting I guess. Here I am ladies, single, nerdy, and willing.

 

[TheEndlessSleep]

Well, I'm at school still, so genuine love around here is harder to find than a piece of hay in a giant stack of needles...

 

[Sandernista]

I'm in love. I feel good.

 

[CaptainREBell]

I believe in love...that 'one-true-love' kind of love, but that soppy thing you get with someone who you're particularly fond of. I'm a bit flighty to think anything of it, really...so it's not the kind of thing for me.
I like to think one day I'll settle down with someone I love, but I've already had 2 people I've loved, and they just really aren't a forever sorta deal. I wonder if I'll find anyone who will be worth sharing my life with. Because I'm awesome. STANDARD.

 

[health-bar]

we are robots of the underworld
we aren't programmed to love.

 

[Jewrean]

Is the last category of the poll not what love is?

Plus, how would you know what love is if you just shut yourself off from it? I know it's just an old saying, but there is literally a shit ton of fish in the sea. There is someone who is exactly like you somewhere in the world.

In the world of love I myself have become very 'pessimistic'. I'm 24 and have gone out to stupid night clubs, pubs, and various other functions, events, and parties. Every single time I've gone out I'm always looking for Ms. Right. And no I don't have high standards either. But clearly, I'm not good enough for anyone. I'm on the dating websites too and even though I've sent out maybe 60 requests to date (not exaggerating) only a few of them have actually replied with jack all to say to me.

Anyway... my point is... don't waste your breath on me. I'm beyond help. I've come to terms with no one liking me 'that way'.

I'm not convinced.

Dating websites, while they are successful to many people, are not the true way to go. Most of their success stories are from women. I know a multiple people who have tried it out and are lucky to even get a message back. Guys struggle on those things.

And as for the pubs and night clubs? Don't go to them if you think they are stupid. If you hate those places, you most likely will hate the people that go to those places. Bars are more for cougars looking for one night stands, not a healthy relationship.

Yeah dating websites are pretty random. I'm assuming all the girls in my area are looking for the 'bad boy' type online. I don't know to be honest.

Please note I don't have many GOOD friends and the ones I do have are all already married or partnered up and don't want to go out with me. None really hold parties and the acquaintances I do have usually don't invite me anyway. Anytime I hold an event only my close friends and family come. The town I live in is also pretty boring. There isn't much to do. My hobbies aren't exactly impressive to the ladies either nor is my career. But thank-you for your concern.

 

[Tonimata]

Well, my situation is rather strange (I suppose you could call it a ménage a trois?) but I'm loving it nonetheless, I've got two people I'd trust with my life loving and taking care of me, and viceversa, so I'm pretty happy

 

[Curlythelock]

Once unfortunately.

 

[Valksy]

Yes. Twice. I lost them both. Even ten years later I still think of them both often and actually dreamed about one of them a couple of nights ago.

 

[Jewrean]

If I may offer some advice:

Night clubs, pubs (the ones young people visit) and parties are where the party people hang out. No offense to anyone visiting such places or anyone not visiting them. But they're a vastly different crowd then most others.

They're like hardcore gamers in a way. They've got all sorts of things you're supposed to know and if you don't then you're a 'noob' not worth associating with. A hardcore gamer is supposed to know that the cake is a lie, that all your base are belong to us and which exact tanking build a raiding paladin uses etc.

Party people know what certain glances mean, what certain gestures mean and what certain dance movements in certain directions mean. I wouldn't know, I'm not party people. But I know they're there. I've followed enough psychology to know that there's a shitload of non-verbal communication going on that I'm not picking up on. Likely neither are you.

That's no problem though. There's lots of people like you and me who aren't party people. Most of the world in fact. We're the silent majority. What the problem is though is that this non-party people group is not a uniform group (neither are the party people). There's a lot of different groups and interests here.

Correct. Very well said.

And from the replies you get at dating sites I'm getting the impression that either you don't know where your values and interests lie or you're insecure about them. And the problem here is that it's very hard to like a person who doesn't share who and what they are.

If I'm correct about my assumption, I may very well not be, then my suggestion would really be to do some searching about yourself, what you want, what you value and what interests you. You need to define yourself.

Actually quite the opposite. I tell them about every hobby I have, my views on certain things, and what my career aspirations are. Probably the reason this is a turn off to most is because I list stereotypically 'nerdy' things as my interests. But to make it clear, I am very confident with non-party people and am VERY defined and quite stubborn at times even.

Find out what exactly you're searching for in a partner, create some standards that she'll have to meet. Not the pubertal 'hawt' standard but a real standard.

I simply listed 'A friendly personality' and not much else.

If you know who you are, what you like, what you don't like and what you want then I'll guarantee you that you'll be able to find someone who meets that. It may take some searching but as been said before, there's a lot of fish in the sea.

What do I get if I am on my death bed and your guarantee has failed lol. No but seriously, I have my own property, I'm fantastic with children, I have a stable job, I'm unique, confident, etc... not sure what the problem is. Every girl I have EVER been interested in has always already been taken. ALWAYS.

1) It sounds terribly cliche, and when I was single, I hated hearing this with a passion, but it's true. Love often finds you when you have stopped looking. Learn to love yourself, be happy with who you are, enjoy the life you have. Then love will find you.

I gave up looking about 5 years ago when I finished high school.

2) Dating websites? Terrible. For one, 75% of people who sign up on them never bother checking it again once their account is created. Second, any time you find someone on a site like that, it's a total stab in the dark if you'll even have anything in common with them.

Indeed. I've been on a date with 3 people from the website. One was the aforementioned shitty short relationship and the other two were both suicidal and depressed. But what else is there?

3) Very possible...the right person is hiding right under your nose and is desperately hoping you'll notice them. Not always the case, but don't rule anyone out just because they're a friend.

In this year alone I have asked 3 girls which were kind of friends out. All 3 have said something along the lines of "I don't think of you that way." Bam. Friend zoned.

My final thought is for all you people saying love doesn't exist, or claiming to be, "cynical yet wiser." I suspect many (if not all) of you are teens, or early 20's. Remember that a *lot* of people don't find the right person until late 20's or early 30's. And no matter who you are, how socially inept or bitter you are, no matter how much you hate humanity...you are capable of being loved. You just need to find the right person. If you want to find love, keep looking. But not too hard.

You give good advice. Kudos sir. As I said earlier, I'm not looking. I barely check the dating profile anymore. I really just don't care about it. I wish you all the best in your long-distance relationship. Hope it turns out well!

 

[EradiusLore]

yes, i really felt like we would grow old together i really loved her, but things changed, she changed and it just couldnt work anymore, i still love her and i think she still loves me but we cant be together anymore. sucks really..

 

[Nenad]

First time in a long time I'm NOT in love. 19 years old. Hormones? Don't care, it's awesome, sort of, even if it's one-sided.

 

[Arancil]

Pursuing a relationship with a bonny lass I have splendid emotions towards as we speak.

 

[ManWithHat]

I was in love once. I'm pretty damn sure it was love. I mean, one time she left her jacket at my apartment, and I could smell her scent on it; so, I smelled it for an hour until the scent faded away which made me legitimately cry. It was kinda intense.

I was around 18/19ish and it was this one girl that I had been friends with for quite a while. Didn't even feel that way about her for the longest time. Then one day, I realized how much I enjoyed having her around and how we could tell each other anything. I told her how I felt. She didn't reciprocate, but we were still friends and got along just fine. I still told her how I felt on a regular basis. But, eventually it hit a breaking point and it got too emotional. I had some sort of emotional break down and thought it best to remove myself from her so as to not have to deal with it any longer. Haven't talk to her since then roughly 5 years ago. Haven't quite been the same since.

God damn it, it sucks, but it's worth every moment I tell you.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

Been in real love once, unfortunately before any relationship took place. So I got pretty heartbroken.

 

[Matt East]

Yes, it had bad results for all involved.
Now while I hate the cliche, it had a very Shakespearean ending, not words of mine, but of my friends.

 

[Hagi]

In that case my advice would be to first know what you're looking for in a partner. Different types of people go to different places.

Get involved in small-scale communities that likely feature the type of girl you're looking for.

If you want a friendly personality maybe check out some of your local volunteer work programs. Join up and get to know the people there. Don't treat everyone as a potential girlfriend but just get to know them, if the right girl is there it'll happen. If she isn't then pushing it will just result in disaster.

If you're looking for a smarter girl take a course at a college in a subject you have a lot of interest in and see the people there.

If you're looking for a more 'nerdy' girl then see if there's any local tabletop gaming clubs. Likely fewer females there but you might get lucky, otherwise you could get a few normal friends. Nothing wrong with that either.

There's thousands of females, if not tens of thousands, in an area close enough for dating. It may take a few years before you meet the right one. All you can do is make sure that you're present at the places women you like are likely to visit. Then get to know them (the friendly way, not the pushy way) and hope you got lucky. Else realize that there's hundreds more out her to come along. You just have to make sure you don't miss them.

 

[Yosato]

Thought I was once or twice, but I've never met anyone with whom I can really resonate with or is kind of on the same wavelength as me. It's always been like 'oh yeah I have a girlfriend' and never someone who I'd really be friends with or connect with if not for the. . . Perks of being in a relationship shall we say.

Then again I'm only nineteen, so hopefully I'll meet someone like that one day.