Poll: Favourite jokes

[ethaninja]

Hey fellas. What is your famous TYPE of joke.
And post an example =)

For me it would be one-liners such as:

What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..."
A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

 

[Berserker119]

I'm partial to cheesy "Your mom" jokes.

 

[sephiroth1991]

I like my jokes short and sweet

 

[Kungfu_Teddybear]

Whats an Irish invention?


A submarine with airholes

 

[Urgh76]

Sexist jokes (Im sorry)

A plane is about to crash. A woman takes off all her clothes and says "Will someone make me feel like a woman before i die?"

A man takes off his shirt and says: "Iron this"

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

Anything most people find offensive. They're always good.

For example:
Q - Why couldn't Superman save the World Trade Centre?
A- They had no wheelchair access.

 

[Wolfpac05]

Sexist jokes... Yeah, i think they're funny...

 

[Tireseas_v1legacy]

Political jokes mainly:

True Quote: "I'm not part of any organized political party. I'm a Democrat."

 

[Benj17]

Any joke thats funny

such as

"I saw a woman driving down the road with her hazard lights on,least she's honest"

and others along that line

 

[ethaninja]

I'm partial to cheesy "Your mom" jokes.

Haha aren't we all.

 

[ethaninja]

Any joke thats funny

such as

"I saw a woman driving down the road with her hazard lights on,least she's honest"

and others along that line

Hah yeah I love jokes that make fun of womens driving skills

 

[Sigel]

Anything most people find offensive. They're always good.

For example:
Q - Why couldn't Superman save the World Trade Centre?
A- They had no wheelchair access.

You're going to love this one then.

A little boy walks by a priest and a rabbi. The priest says to the rabbi"I would love to screw him". The rabbi replies"Outta what?".

 

[2xDouble]

All of the above, and more.

Blonde jokes, women jokes, men jokes, race jokes... all are one in the same, if it's funny. Something Mencia said: "If you can't tell that joke in front of the people it's about then you should never, ever tell that joke to anyone." Other than that, go for it.

You're forgetting the physical comedy (not necessarily slapstick), i.e. "Why do blondes have a cleft chin and a red forehead?, *thinks by twisting fingers on chin* 'Hmm' *slaps forehead* 'oh yeah!'" ...You get the idea.

Then there's the lovely non-sequiters, i.e. Everything Leslie Nielson has done specifically Airplane! and the Police Squad! series (including The Naked Gun movies).
"Give me everything you've got on Elaine Dessler!", "I'm 2 inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with." (Even funnier when you know the second line is delivered by another man.)
*holds out a pack of cigarettes* "Cigarette?", "Yes, it is"
...and such. I guess they could count as one-liners, whatever.

Speaking of one-liners: "Two men walk into a bar, you'd think the second one would've ducked." An oldie but a goody.

To quote the late, great Rodney Dangerfield: "I know a lot of f@%&'n jokes!"

 

[Arqus_Zed]

One-liners, inside jokes and the morally inaproptiate ones.

I'd give an example, but I really don't want to get Banned.

 

[Skuffyshootster]

All of the above, and more.

Blonde jokes, women jokes, men jokes, race jokes... all are one in the same, if it's funny. Something Mencia said: "If you can't tell that joke in front of the people it's about then you should never, ever tell that joke to anyone." Other than that, go for it.

You're forgetting the physical comedy (not necessarily slapstick), i.e. "Why do blondes have a cleft chin and a red forehead?, *thinks by twisting fingers on chin* 'Hmm' *slaps forehead* 'oh yeah!'" ...You get the idea.

Then there's the lovely non-sequiters, i.e. Everything Leslie Nielson has done specifically Airplane! and the Police Squad! series (including The Naked Gun movies).
"Give me everything you've got on Elaine Dessler!", "I'm 2 inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with." (Even funnier when you know the second line is delivered by another man.)
*holds out a pack of cigarettes* "Cigarette?", "Yes, it is"
...and such. I guess they could count as one-liners, whatever.

Speaking of one-liners: "Two men walk into a bar, you'd think the second one would've ducked." An oldie but a goody.

To quote the late, great Rodney Dangerfield: "I know a lot of f@%&'n jokes!"

You forgot the classic; "Surely you can't be serious!" "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."

 

[Gaderael]

Anything most people find offensive. They're always good.

For example:
Q - Why couldn't Superman save the World Trade Centre?
A- They had no wheelchair access.

You're going to love this one then.

A little boy walks by a priest and a rabbi. The priest says to the rabbi"I would love to screw him". The rabbi replies"Outta what?".

You should love this one to then:

The local Parish Priest takes ill and they have to call in another one until he gets better. The temporary priest, not wanting to shake things up while he's in charge, asks and Altar Boy what the Priest gives for Confession. First he asks, "What did the Father give for someone stealing?", and the Altar Boy says, "Two Our Fathers and a Hail Mary." Then the priest asks, "What about getting in a fight?", and the Boy says, "Three Our Fathers and Two Hail Marys." Lastly, the Father asks, "What does the Father give for sex?", and the Altar Boy says, "A can of soda and a chocolate bar."

 

[bam13302]

what is XKCD clasified as?

 

[havass]

Where do you keep corn?
in a corntainer

Where do you hide corn?
in the corner

What is the smartest corn?
cornfucious

What is the dumbest corn?
silicorn

What is the hardest corn?
corncrete

Did you think those jokes were corny?
Well, *points at eye*
THIS IS CORNIER!

Oh, and i have alot more where these came from.

OT: In case you haven't noticed, i love one-liners.

 

[jeff02x2]

I like jokes that involve people that arnt in on it,

eg, going to a supermarket and asking them to use the tanoid to call for funny names. Like asking for an Indian lady called "ineeda sheet" you know Bart simpson type things. I listened to people doing it in heethrow once was very funny

 

[S.R.S.]

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"