Poll: Female babysitter charged for having sex with 14-year old boy.

[Groovy Dan]

As a fourteen year old I think my response is probably a little biased, but when they started she was 19 and he was 14, that's not that bad. The alcohol was terrible and she should definitely be punished for that, but they were in a relationship for months so he wasn't tricked into having sex with her.

People keep saying reverse the roles, but if an attractive 19 male had consenting sex with a 14 year old female, I don't think I would be that outraged.

Other than the alcohol, no harm done.

 

[twiceworn]

A 14 year old is NOT FUCKING INNOCENT! Boy or girl, they know they want sex. If they meet an attractive member of the opposite sex, they will want their dick/vagina. This girl's not a criminal, she was probably just being nice. People calling her a "sex offender," don't know what that actually means.

By the way, I would have fucked her, too. Damn, she's fine!

14 years old also want alcohol, drugs and a bunch of other stuff. doesnt mean you should grant it to them. and that part about her being probably nice is..... sorry, but it was just stupid.


ehhh.... those people who say "i want that too" are apparently just as mature as that guy who got raped (yeah, im going to call it as it should be called). Its sad really, but it just goes to show how bad it is and why it shouldnt happen.

The thing is, if he would get an std this way, he would be in a lot of trouble. If he would get that girl pregnant he would be in a lot of trouble.... Only thats a lie, because, seeing as he is a underage - his parents would be in a lot of trouble. him? sure, but mostly his parents. There are also many others way how this could go horribly wrong, and in pretty much all cases, his parents would pay for it. There are many reasons as to why his mother has right to be pissed.

And even if nothing goes wrong, cmon, getting someone drunk to have sex is a crime. Getting a minor drunk is a crime. Having sex with a minor is a crime. So why in satans glorious name would combination of all those things, not be a crime?

We cannot grant kids "what they want" because they want it.... Doing so is immature. Everything has consequences, and while im not saying that an adult is able to see all of them... An adult is mature enough to suffer them. Something a 14 years old KID is not.

so at sixteen in a mere two years he now knows all he needs to know about the risks of sex, will be fine if he gets an std , and will have moved into his own house so getting her pregnent wont reflect of his parents?? that would be:no no and NO in that order and btw at sixteen males want sex just as much as at fourteen and if you think they are more able to handle it just look at highschool

 

[wench]

I'm still sticking with "jail" on this one. Between the age difference and the power imbalance, even without alcohol being involved this is a real problem. No, being pretty and a girl doesn't get you out of this. If it could be proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was absolutely consensual in every way, I might lean towards a light sentence or community service... but there are just too many strikes against her on this one.

That said, I was having consensual sex with people that old at 14... and I wouldn't have wanted them to go to jail. They also weren't my babysitters/teachers/priests, so at least the coercive element is out of that picture.

I also wonder about the whole question of why the heck a 14-year-old needed a babysitter... I was babysitting younger kids by 12. Are his parents just overprotective (in which case, epic fail) or is there something else going on?

 

[twiceworn]

is this even a question, really?? i would ask every male reading this post to tell me this, in his place would you want to get it on with a girl that hot and after the fact would you want her in jail or would you want to sleep with her again, this isn't even a question of course you would sleep with her and of course you would do it again as males WE LIKE SEX!!

if im wrong post me and tell me that at fourteen you as a male wouldn't have jumped at the chance to go with a hot baby sitter, that kid will get credit for getting laid at fourteen with a hot girl WHO WANTED HIM he can boast about that for life, tell me truthfully at fourteen you wouldnt if you could.

Absolutely I would, and so would every male in this post, and possibly the females too for an older guy. When it comes down to it however the law is in place for a reason. I dont know your age, and that would affect your decision in this matter likely, but if it was a 14 year old female(or male) and a 20 year old male, he fed her alcohol and had his way with her, despite whether or not she had a crush on him etc, would you feel he should be punished? The law does not specify "well did they like it?" because the law cannot answer that question, and everybody lies.

girs are not the same as boys its that simple, a crush sugests romance at fourteen MALES WANT SEX!!!!! girls at fourteenn want romance of which sex plays nearly no part. if a good looking girl goes up to a guy and says i want to have sex with you and you thought she was being serious you wouldnt say no it wouldn't matter what was going on, if positions were reversed however it would nearly always be a no so there it is, males like sex MORE the females, at fourteen, simple

This comes from your extensive relationships with females? Is that why this 20 year old slept with the 14 year old? because she envisioned a long-lasting romance him? Women are very sexual, they just have different motivators, doesn't mean they know any more or less what they want.

i said at fourteen read the whole post, if i girl came up to you and she is really good looking and looks you in the eye and says lets have sex would you say yes? nearly all males would but what if it was a really good looking guy that went up to a girl and says the same thine he would get a no from most girls simple

 

[fundayz]

If the kid was in a relationship with her I have to give him props.

 

[orangeban]

A 14 year old is NOT FUCKING INNOCENT! Boy or girl, they know they want sex. If they meet an attractive member of the opposite sex, they will want their dick/vagina. This girl's not a criminal, she was probably just being nice. People calling her a "sex offender," don't know what that actually means.

By the way, I would have fucked her, too. Damn, she's fine!

14 years old also want alcohol, drugs and a bunch of other stuff. doesnt mean you should grant it to them. and that part about her being probably nice is..... sorry, but it was just stupid.


ehhh.... those people who say "i want that too" are apparently just as mature as that guy who got raped (yeah, im going to call it as it should be called). Its sad really, but it just goes to show how bad it is and why it shouldnt happen.

The thing is, if he would get an std this way, he would be in a lot of trouble. If he would get that girl pregnant he would be in a lot of trouble.... Only thats a lie, because, seeing as he is a underage - his parents would be in a lot of trouble. him? sure, but mostly his parents. There are also many others way how this could go horribly wrong, and in pretty much all cases, his parents would pay for it. There are many reasons as to why his mother has right to be pissed.

And even if nothing goes wrong, cmon, getting someone drunk to have sex is a crime. Getting a minor drunk is a crime. Having sex with a minor is a crime. So why in satans glorious name would combination of all those things, not be a crime?

We cannot grant kids "what they want" because they want it.... Doing so is immature. Everything has consequences, and while im not saying that an adult is able to see all of them... An adult is mature enough to suffer them. Something a 14 years old KID is not.

so at sixteen in a mere two years he now knows all he needs to know about the risks of sex, will be fine if he gets an std , and will have moved into his own house so getting her pregnent wont reflect of his parents?? that would be:no no and NO in that order and btw at sixteen males want sex just as much as at fourteen and if you think they are more able to handle it just look at highschool

Yeah, but you have to draw the line somewhere dude. 14? Why not 13? 13? Why not 12? Ect. ect.

16 is a decent place to draw that line because that's when you can leave school, and begin your life proper.

 

[Snooder]

Absolutely I would, and so would every male in this post, and possibly the females too for an older guy. When it comes down to it however the law is in place for a reason. I dont know your age, and that would affect your decision in this matter likely, but if it was a 14 year old female(or male) and a 20 year old male, he fed her alcohol and had his way with her, despite whether or not she had a crush on him etc, would you feel he should be punished? The law does not specify "well did they like it?" because the law cannot answer that question, and everybody lies.

Here's the thing, the entire purpose of "child molestation" laws is to prevent harm to minors. When we have cases like this, where nobody in their right mind would actually argue that there has been harm done, but instead argues "it must be punished because that's the law," what we have is a bad law.

Laws, especially criminal laws, exist for a purpose. Specifically, to deter specific harmful behavior. When the law goes beyond deterrence of the behavior, then it is overbroad and needs rewriting. When a criminal law criminalizes activity that isn't harmful, we really must look more closely at the law, and especially at the punishment for that law.

Nobody can really, seriously, argue that a 14 year old guy getting laid is automatically being harmed. Maybe, if it was against his consent, as the liberal application of alcohol might suggest. But, you know what, we have laws against that sort of thing. Child molestation is an entirely different sort of beast whose basic premise is that a person under the age of consent is physically, literally and automatically unable to engage in sex without being harmed by it. In the same way that, say, a 3 year old can't have sex without irreparable harm. But that's bullshit, and we know it. Cause normal 14 year old kids have sex all the time. And we would all find it ridiculous and retarded to think that a 14 year old who got laid over the summer is now in need of serious therapy.

Ultimately, what all this furor boils down to is people finding the idea of their daughters having sex with older men icky. Which had a very good and rational basis. Kids live with their parents. Parents who have to suffer the consequences of their children's actions. Sex (for women) often results in pregnancy. Ergo, parents would rather not have their daughters having sex when they are still young enough to live at home. Perfectly rational and sane.

What isn't rational and sane though, is going so far overboard as to sentence a 20 year old girl to years in prison and a lifetime black mark (sex offender registry is for life)
for a small mistake with literally no damage done or harm caused. It's like punishing trespassing on your lawn with castration.

 

[Nesco Nomen]

Has she performed an oral sex on him ?

 

[twiceworn]

A 14 year old is NOT FUCKING INNOCENT! Boy or girl, they know they want sex. If they meet an attractive member of the opposite sex, they will want their dick/vagina. This girl's not a criminal, she was probably just being nice. People calling her a "sex offender," don't know what that actually means.

By the way, I would have fucked her, too. Damn, she's fine!

14 years old also want alcohol, drugs and a bunch of other stuff. doesnt mean you should grant it to them. and that part about her being probably nice is..... sorry, but it was just stupid.


ehhh.... those people who say "i want that too" are apparently just as mature as that guy who got raped (yeah, im going to call it as it should be called). Its sad really, but it just goes to show how bad it is and why it shouldnt happen.

The thing is, if he would get an std this way, he would be in a lot of trouble. If he would get that girl pregnant he would be in a lot of trouble.... Only thats a lie, because, seeing as he is a underage - his parents would be in a lot of trouble. him? sure, but mostly his parents. There are also many others way how this could go horribly wrong, and in pretty much all cases, his parents would pay for it. There are many reasons as to why his mother has right to be pissed.

And even if nothing goes wrong, cmon, getting someone drunk to have sex is a crime. Getting a minor drunk is a crime. Having sex with a minor is a crime. So why in satans glorious name would combination of all those things, not be a crime?

We cannot grant kids "what they want" because they want it.... Doing so is immature. Everything has consequences, and while im not saying that an adult is able to see all of them... An adult is mature enough to suffer them. Something a 14 years old KID is not.

so at sixteen in a mere two years he now knows all he needs to know about the risks of sex, will be fine if he gets an std , and will have moved into his own house so getting her pregnent wont reflect of his parents?? that would be:no no and NO in that order and btw at sixteen males want sex just as much as at fourteen and if you think they are more able to handle it just look at highschool

Yeah, but you have to draw the line somewhere dude. 14? Why not 13? 13? Why not 12? Ect. ect.

16 is a decent place to draw that line because that's when you can leave school, and begin your life proper.

at fourteen if a girl had came up to you and offered you sex would you have replyed yes? if so looking back on it when you were older would you regret it or would you feel a bit proud that you had got the are you a vergin question out if the way before finishing middle school?

 

[Neonit]

so at sixteen in a mere two years he now knows all he needs to know about the risks of sex, will be fine if he gets an std , and will have moved into his own house so getting her pregnent wont reflect of his parents?? that would be:no no and NO in that order and btw at sixteen males want sex just as much as at fourteen and if you think they are more able to handle it just look at highschool

did you read the end of my post? i didnt say he would know any better. i said he would probably be better equipped to deal with it, which is PROBABLY true seeing that i can imagine how you can afford a family at age 14. you can at age 16, at least where i live, because till then you cant get a serious job.

you people really need to understand it. at age of 14 you are a kid. your parents are hold responsible for your stupid actions. there IS a reason for that.

but yeah i agree with some things you said, nobody is really mature enough to handle getting an std, and a lot of people never get mature to have kids.

then again i think it should be 18 or even 21 years old before you can pull bullshit like this out. There are far too many kids who have kids. I hardly see how tempting to make it even more is justified "because it has happened before".

 

[Zorak the Mantis]

Hmm, I wonder how people would react if it was the opposite, with a 20 year old man and a 14 year old girl...

Regardless of whether or not they were consenting, it's still illegal. Now whether the age of consent is ethical or not is an entirely different topic.

 

[orangeban]

Whoopsie, weird laggy double post.

 

[Slaanax]

She deserves Jail time, but I'm pretty sure if I was 14 I wouldn't have resisted, then again at 26 I wouldn't put up if I wanted to do it. That being said people have said it if the roles were reversed people would be blowing their mind.

 

[Lord Merik]

if the genders were reversed the babysitter would be in deep shit. Why is this any different?

 

[orangeban]

A 14 year old is NOT FUCKING INNOCENT! Boy or girl, they know they want sex. If they meet an attractive member of the opposite sex, they will want their dick/vagina. This girl's not a criminal, she was probably just being nice. People calling her a "sex offender," don't know what that actually means.

By the way, I would have fucked her, too. Damn, she's fine!

14 years old also want alcohol, drugs and a bunch of other stuff. doesnt mean you should grant it to them. and that part about her being probably nice is..... sorry, but it was just stupid.


ehhh.... those people who say "i want that too" are apparently just as mature as that guy who got raped (yeah, im going to call it as it should be called). Its sad really, but it just goes to show how bad it is and why it shouldnt happen.

The thing is, if he would get an std this way, he would be in a lot of trouble. If he would get that girl pregnant he would be in a lot of trouble.... Only thats a lie, because, seeing as he is a underage - his parents would be in a lot of trouble. him? sure, but mostly his parents. There are also many others way how this could go horribly wrong, and in pretty much all cases, his parents would pay for it. There are many reasons as to why his mother has right to be pissed.

And even if nothing goes wrong, cmon, getting someone drunk to have sex is a crime. Getting a minor drunk is a crime. Having sex with a minor is a crime. So why in satans glorious name would combination of all those things, not be a crime?

We cannot grant kids "what they want" because they want it.... Doing so is immature. Everything has consequences, and while im not saying that an adult is able to see all of them... An adult is mature enough to suffer them. Something a 14 years old KID is not.

so at sixteen in a mere two years he now knows all he needs to know about the risks of sex, will be fine if he gets an std , and will have moved into his own house so getting her pregnent wont reflect of his parents?? that would be:no no and NO in that order and btw at sixteen males want sex just as much as at fourteen and if you think they are more able to handle it just look at highschool

Yeah, but you have to draw the line somewhere dude. 14? Why not 13? 13? Why not 12? Ect. ect.

16 is a decent place to draw that line because that's when you can leave school, and begin your life proper.

at fourteen if a girl had came up to you and offered you sex would you have replyed yes? if so looking back on it when you were older would you regret it or would you feel a bit proud that you had got the are you a vergin question out if the way before finishing middle school?

Well, I happen to be 14, but I'm also gay so this question wouldn't apply to me (but before you ask, if my attractive (fictional) male babysitter offered sex, I'd say no, because what the fuck are 20 year olds going around offering sex to spotty lanky kids for?)

But you dogdged my point, which is that somewhere a line must be drawn, and that 16 is a logical place to draw the line.

What kind of crazy reason for repealing a law is "Because they wanted it" anyway? What if she offered the kid alchohol (which she did), drugs, cigarettes or a gun? I'm sure he would have wanted those as well.

 

[Dukeleto77]

Look at it like this.

What if it was a 20 year old male babysitter who got a 14 year old girl drunk and slept with her?

That's right people would be screaming for blood.

But seriously why is this even up for debate?

Providing alcohol to a minor
Sexual assault
Sexual assault of a minor

This, absolutely. She took advantage of a position of authority, and of the innocence and inexperience of a minor in her care. We can be flippant and say the kid probably really enjoyed himself, but that doesn't change the fact that his sexual and personal development have been badly skewed by this abuse.

 

[karamazovnew]

All "Where was she when I was 14" aside...

Which makes me ask the question.. WHERE WAS SHE WHEN I WAS 14?!!!!

Guys, this is just F-ing dumb. In case you have forgotten, let me remind you about male versus anatomy.

If you're a female and you are about to have sex, you have 2 choices:
1. You want it, in which case you get moist and it feels nice.
2. You don't want it, in which case it hurts like crap, but it's still gonna happen and we call it rape.

If you're a male and you are about to do sex (that's right, male DO, not HAVE sex), you also have 2 choices:
1. You want it, in which case your willi gets big and hard and you can have sex
2. You don't want it, in which case you DON'T bloody have sex.

It's physically impossible for a woman to rape a guy (except in weird situations which I won't get into right now, but let's just say there's a dildo involved and the girl needs to be crazy strong or have you drugged and tied...)

She should just be laughed at for needing to show her tits to a 14 year old, not sent to jail...

 

[Kalith]

If they were consenting then it's no ones business and I feel sorry for her. If she forced him then it's rape and she should go to jail.

However, my partner was under age when we met and we didn't have sex until he was legal. So perhaps I'm biased.