Poll: First Attempt at a Gmod Comic

[Korten12]

This is my first attempt at a Gmod Comic, enjoy.

Note: this doesnt take place in the HL2 universe but uses the same models and cities (atleast this one did.)

Spoiler

might be easier to read it here:
http://i575.photobucket.com/albums/ss192/Kortenx12/JackComic1.png

(sorry for the kinda small font in the second bubble here is what it says if you cant read it. and I realized I missed the word to in the second bubble. )

Spoiler

Yes... I do. Since we can't leave during the night and since this can only be done at night. I have hired you to do a little dead for me... I need you to go over to the alleyway near here and there will be someone waiting. He will have a package, I will need you to get it for me. Tell him, Jin sentyou and he should give it to you.

I know it may not be the most original thing but for a first attempt I think its pretty good, of course this is part 1 of a series I might do if people like it.

 

[nathan eliott]

From my small experience with comic books, large amounts of text in a single bubble is a bit off putting? Correct me if I'm wrong

As it reads at the minute, it's a bit dry... If you've got more of the comic to put it into context, that'd be great. I think the text needs a little bit of work: it needs to be snappier, straight-to-the-point, with an interesting angle and querky concepts. I know it's difficult to put onto one page, but spread your text out a little bit. Have more images with fewer words in.

Visually, the images in the background are good. I have qualms with the bubbles and the actual text though - they don't have any character to them. You know how comics have exaggerated text and large, bulbous writing. Try using that. Try making the text stand out a bit more, and have the bubbles a little more lively.

Sorry to have been quite strong about it, but it's constructive, not abusive

 

[Korten12]

From my small experience with comic books, large amounts of text in a single bubble is a bit off putting? Correct me if I'm wrong

As it reads at the minute, it's a bit dry... If you've got more of the comic to put it into context, that'd be great. I think the text needs a little bit of work: it needs to be snappier, straight-to-the-point, with an interesting angle and querky concepts. I know it's difficult to put onto one page, but spread your text out a little bit. Have more images with fewer words in.

Visually, the images in the background are good. I have qualms with the bubbles and the actual text though - they don't have any character to them. You know how comics have exaggerated text and large, bulbous writing. Try using that. Try making the text stand out a bit more, and have the bubbles a little more lively.

Sorry to have been quite strong about it, but it's constructive, not abusive

no thats perfectly fine. Reason for the bland text boxes is becuase on Paint.Net the program I use it doesnt really support comic talk bubbles. I wish it did but it doesn't. Most likely I will add that stuff when more exciting stuff happens like what will happen in page 2 if people like page 1. thanks for the critizens.

about the large amount of text... I have seen comics to have couple paragraphs a page... So I think its pretty common...