Poll: Forever Alone... Or Friend Zone
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Forever alone. I seem to be incredibly unlucky with women.
I find the perfect girl, I like her, she likes me...but then she turns round and says she doesn't like me enough. Oh well, shit happens.
I find the perfect girl, I like her, she likes me...but then she turns round and says she doesn't like me enough. Oh well, shit happens.
"its coming close to two years since my last relationship... hell since my last kiss"
"Believe it or not I am pretty good at attracting girls"
Not to be a douche or anything but.. Read aloud those to sentences and tell me why they do not belong in the same context.
Other than that I'm single and enjoying it. Enjoying it so much in fact that I'm beginning to steer away from doing too much with a girl in fear of having to have a Mexican stand off with the relationship question!
But being young and single is probably the best combination of things to be. In the whole world! Famous might be up there too, wouldn't know, since I'm more infamous than famous.
Oh, and there is no such thing as 'friend zone'. That what you refer to is known as 'stand-by zone', the time where a girl you might fancy is occupied and you continue to flirt with her while also enjoying the opportunity to flirt with everyone else of the female kind.
I've been, to use your terms, 'friend zoned' recently by a girl I actually liked, but she is about to start her education at a school where 8 out of 95 are boys.My first question after leaning that was; "When does your bar open?"
Seriously, grab your bros, go out and just enjoy yourselves. It is the most fun you can do with your weekends.
"Believe it or not I am pretty good at attracting girls"
Not to be a douche or anything but.. Read aloud those to sentences and tell me why they do not belong in the same context.
Other than that I'm single and enjoying it. Enjoying it so much in fact that I'm beginning to steer away from doing too much with a girl in fear of having to have a Mexican stand off with the relationship question!
But being young and single is probably the best combination of things to be. In the whole world! Famous might be up there too, wouldn't know, since I'm more infamous than famous.
Oh, and there is no such thing as 'friend zone'. That what you refer to is known as 'stand-by zone', the time where a girl you might fancy is occupied and you continue to flirt with her while also enjoying the opportunity to flirt with everyone else of the female kind.
I've been, to use your terms, 'friend zoned' recently by a girl I actually liked, but she is about to start her education at a school where 8 out of 95 are boys.My first question after leaning that was; "When does your bar open?"
Seriously, grab your bros, go out and just enjoy yourselves. It is the most fun you can do with your weekends.
I know they seem like they shouldnt be in the same paragraph, but Ill try to explain more thoroughly. I could at any time go to a club and hook up with any random girl but I dont really want that right now, that was when I was in grade 9 thinking that making out was a big deal. Im in grade 12 now and all of the girls I have been talking about have only talked to me for a couple weeks (which is good right? most of the people here say dont take too long to ask someone out), before they start something with a guy theyve just met, and say that we should still be friends (and its always the date before I think of asking them out).endnuen said:
I wish I could go out with "my bros" but I only really have one guy bestfriend right now who Ive known my whole life (I used to have a group of "bros" that I hung out with, but someone in the group didnt like me and just started making up rumors that ultimately got me stranded with no one). The rest are just acquaintances that are either always like "Yeaaaah man we should chill" but then that never happens because they are extremely unreliable, or are just total douche bags that I wouldnt want to hang out around anyway. So my weekends usually end up with me just sitting at my computer playing minecraft and periodically checking facebook only to see that the guys who said "Yeaaaah man we should chill" but then said they were busy that night are actually posting pics of the party theyre at or something.
That doesnt exactly make your advice seem convincing lolPsionicAtlas said:
Im in grade 12 now and looking back at all the opportunities that have been crushed, and the things I could have had. I would be enjoying life if I had friends that actually invited me out to places theyre going, or didnt lie about being busy. *read above paragraph about "I wish I could go out with "my bros"..."PsionicAtlas said:
Your problem, sir!nofear220 said:
Would you want to date someone whose social life consisted of "checking Facebook" and "bitching about people not wanting to hang out with them"? You're (most likely) being overlooked because... in the nicest way possible really honestly not trying to offend... you sound a teensy bit pathetic.
Seriously how does your grade thing work?nofear220 said:
How old are you? 12th grade? Here that would be around 2-3 year of high school. (College is your equivalent of university no?) which would make you around 17-18?
And saying making out is not a big deal, is saying you have issues enjoying the small nice things. Can you tell me one good reason having a girl all over you after a few hours is in any way a bad thing? And NO, the risk of getting herpes does not overshadow the good times that ensures..
Also, if one of the first memories a girl has of you is a wonderful time, how is that in any way, shape or form bad?
And you have a bro, that is more than some, go out with him then, the two of you on the hunt.
And if you don't go out there you don't meet nobody.
At the moment, I'm single (I think). Yeah, my life's been getting pretty complicated recently. Hopefully I'll be figuring out what the hell's going on sometime soon, though.
That doesn't change the fact that you're still in high school. High school is a social MESS. I wouldn't get too caught up in any of this, next year you'll be somewhere completely different with your life and none of it will matter.nofear220 said:
I've never been in a serious relationship and I'm totally fine with that. You don't need to be dating to be happy, just enjoy yourself. If you want a relationship you're doing the right thing by putting yourself out there, eventually you'll find someone who's right for you.
I would say that I'm single but having fun, but as I interpret your poll options it appears that "fun" is meant to be interpreted as "having sex", and that definitely doesn't describe me in any capacity, as I lead an entirely sex-free existence. Personally I don't equate being alone as a lamentable state I should feel bad about, or strive to change - I bloody like being alone - and the same holds true for celibacy.
Being alone rocks.
Being alone rocks.
I dont know if youre trolling or being completely serious but it's not helping either way. I only go for girls that I have very few mutual friends with since Ive given up on the girls in my school because I know that they think Im a loser, because of this:Stasisesque said:
Which pretty much destroyed my social life, not just with the group, but with everyone else as well... Yeah highschool is like that. So its not really fair of you to blame the fact that I have a pathetic social life now all on me. Also I dont "***** about people not wanting to hang out with me" to people I know, because I know that would just make things worse.nofear220 said:
Grade 12 is final year here. & I guess youre right except the herpes thing... Although I can see making out with someone at a party or something, but I never really meet these girls at parties (the whole social outcast thing doesnt really help with invites) and my pet peeve is PDA (public displays of affection) so Im not about to start making out with girls in the middle of a mall or something.endnuen said:
But heres another dilemma, my bro has a girlfriend, I dont like the club scene, Im not old enough to go to a bar, I think that pretty much ends my chance of having a wing man.
Thats exactly what Im hoping, start fresh at university, just one more simester and Im out! ...doomed to my desk finishing calculus work lmaobassdrum said:
I envy youGildan Bladeborn said:
Well, you got 14 weeks left and then you are about to start life a new, literally.nofear220 said:
Even though I had a close group of friends when I lived at home and attended High School we all went our separate ways after that, or I went to the other end of the country while they all chose the same city. We still see each other every few months, but where I live now I have a new band of brothers so to speak. You will get too when you move out for yourself and and start at new place, it will come all natural.
Sorting through massive quotes hurts my weary little head, throw me a PM if you need more encouragement. Sounds like you need it somewhat.
It does seem that there's a few options missing, doesn't it?Gildan Bladeborn said:
OT: I'm not as happy about being single as the above poster is, but I'm not bitter enough about it to list myself as "forever alone" or "forever friend zone." It's been 3 years since I've had a date, but that mostly boils down to two things: For the first couple of years of that, I met very few people who weren't either much younger than me, or people I had known for most of my life. Going to a community college in a small town does that. For the last year, I've had the opposite problem; I know very few people, and it's very difficult to get out and meet like minded people in a university with 50,000 students when you have almost no connections.
Also, not having a car doesn't help much. Nor does not having a job, thanks to a 17 hour course load making one inadvisable.
Edit: A lengthier explanation, born out of me misreading my post, writing a paragraph to correct it, then realizing it was correct as it stood, but not wanting to throw out this much text.
I'm not a cradle robber, and I really had grown up with way too many of the people at that school -- to the point that at least once a month, someone who I had gone to one school with would wind up in the same room as a person I had gone to another school with, and it would turn out all three of us knew each other, but each of us thought the other two didn't know each other. Things like, my ex-girlfriend having been best friends with a girl who was a good friend of mine in middle school, and they both knew my best friend from high school, with the web getting weirder the more people we ran into. The whole "way younger" thing deserves an explanation too: basically, there was a charter school at the college, designed to let high achieving high schoolers graduate highschool with their AA. This meant I was constantly meeting new people... who happened to be anywhere from one to three years younger than me, with me having turned 18 during my senior year of highschool. 18 can be a pretty sucky age, thanks to that dividing line between 17 years, 364 days and 18 years, 0 days being backed a little too strongly by law.
Man, that is exactly what happens to me, on a weekly basis. Like you, I think that I should start charging them moneys for each session of crying on my shoulder.SteewpidZombie said:
On Topic
I'm a nice guy with a good set of morals, etc, always stuck in the friend zone. I have always been a closed kinda person (10 years of getting bullied in the school system does that to you), and I never really opened up till about grade 10. So, I probably need to ask girls out that I like before I get to know them, but that goes against what I am. That being said, I've had 3 relationships, each about 4-6 months long in the past 2 years, with people I became friends with first...
Single, but happy. (until valentine's day, which always causes a day of rage followed (and preceded) by a week of mild depression)
Though if my best friend and I can manage to be drunk at the same time, that might change. Sober conversations have revealed that neither of us is willing to try it in case it gets awkward. Drunken texts both ways suggest different. Meh.
Admittedly my tolerance for singledom can occasionally be tested when all 3 of my housemates appear with their girlfriends at the same time. At that point I will inevitably end up watching and/or reading Scott Pilgrim, because it makes me happy.
Though if my best friend and I can manage to be drunk at the same time, that might change. Sober conversations have revealed that neither of us is willing to try it in case it gets awkward. Drunken texts both ways suggest different. Meh.
Admittedly my tolerance for singledom can occasionally be tested when all 3 of my housemates appear with their girlfriends at the same time. At that point I will inevitably end up watching and/or reading Scott Pilgrim, because it makes me happy.
Which is why this year my friends planned an online gaming night the day before/of Valentines day!J03bot said:
Kinda adds to the irony though when I tell ya half the people participating are not single...but hey, if they wanna spend their Valentines day with me tbagging them in some random FPS...
nofear220 said:
Gah this quote is getting excessively long lol, well my best friend doesn't exactly listen to me, and it wasn't until last year that he admitted that I might be right, probably should've clarified that.
For the second part. Why do you think you need a lot of friends? You should be happy that you got one that's a good friend who stuck with you. That's really hard to find, trust me. Personally I got two best friends, and maybe 3 other really good friends. Other than my best friend the others I met after high school.
On a last highly upbeat note, You're almost outta high school! Congrats!!!!!! You're getting through the shitty part of life. And just because you're outta high school doesn't make my point about "you're still young" any less valid. You still have a LOT of time. Don't get caught in the societal kind of set up where it feels like you should be in a relationship at that age. You're coming into the best years of your life and it feels like crap, trust me I know,(I think mostly everyone here understands that). Just enjoy your time and what you have and it'll feel a lot better. Also I'm writing this after just waking up so I might edit this due to lack of clarity, or if you respond Ill also correct myself.
I'm being completely serious. Everyone has problems in their lives, everyone goes through the highschool torment - it's only a choice handful who never experience anything like this in their teenage years, and even they have their own problems.nofear220 said:
My point is you sound pathetic, not that you are pathetic. You, in an ideal world, need a more positive outlook on life. Sure, some people won't like you and as a teenager, you never want to be the outsider - so you'll usually pretend to like someone you don't, or worse - turn others against them. This doesn't last beyond highschool in the majority of cases.
You simply can't blame the girls for not wanting you by saying they're not attracted to "nice guys", it's borderline offensive. Men and women are attracted to people they find interesting, have something in common with and so on. Your "nice guy" attitude is a crutch, you're not being a "nice guy", you're being the dependable guy with nothing going for you. Now, I'm certain you have lots going for you, but you can't expect everyone to immediately discover what they are - you've got to get yourself out there and make yourself a catch.
You said yourself girls do fall for you, but you never answered my original question - do you immediately realise you have feelings for them, or do you politely decline? Your problem works both ways, people will fall for those who don't want them - it will happen a lot (especially in school, there's so much choice). This doesn't make the girls some sort of crazed masochists who only want to date bad boys, it makes you not their type. Either change who you are and go after them again, or improve who you are and find someone who actually is attracted to you. Please, please - stop blaming the girls.