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I felt the need to re-write my opening. In the spur of the moment, I wrote abit to much in the middle of the night, not really the point. My intent with the whole post was just a rant. My ex started dating one of my best friends which led to some drama and eventually he alienated all his friends in favor of spending time with her.
Now, the same said ex is dating another one of my friends and he is starting to show the same signs of unwillingness to hang out with anyone. Id say they are still in the "honey-moon state" of a relationship where everything is exciting is new. I also get the feeling that he is nervous about the fact that he is dating my ex, despite the fact that I have given him my blessing.
I am simply afraid that I will lose a friend again. Ill leave my first post anyway.
But THIS is what I wanted to discuss. I appreciate everyones input greatly, thank you.
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About 2 years ago, one of my best friends started dating my ex girlfriend. I suppose she and I didn't have a very good break-up. At that time, she was very depressed, alot. She didn't like my friends, she didn't like leaving the house. Going to the movies was boring, eating out was waste of money, my friends were stupid. Of course, I prolly did alot of stuff that was bad too. It takes 2 to tango. But this is just my side of the story and not really relevant.
I eventually broke up with her because I just couldn't take her negativity anymore.
Just alittle back-story, enjoy.
Anyway, after awhile my started to act very strangly. He rarely answered his phone when I called, turned the rest of the guys when asked to hang out and so on. When his birthday was coming up, we had planned a big party for him with all his friends, but he said that wouldnt be necessary. He had big plans with a secret girl in a fancy hotel. We were all happy for him that he found someone he liked, but still we wanted to throw this party for him and said he could bring her.
He turned us down and we were all confused. 3 months later, one of our common friends finally blurts out on a party while drunk. "Dude.. I don't wanna lie anymore. He's bin dating Jennifer for the past 3 months".
This was one of the biggest shocks I've had in my life. I couldn't for the life of me understand how he had bin keeping thier relationship for over 3 months and blowing off his friends party in favor of my ex. For 2 weeks, I grinded my teeth so hard in my sleep, I had problems eating properly from the pain in my jaw. But I wanted us to still be friends, I asked him why he lied about it, why couldnt you just have told me?
Now, to some this may sound stupid, it's not just the fact that he's dating my ex, it's that he blew all of us off in favor of her. That's what pains me. Short story is basically him telling me he really didn't think it was any of my business and "hey you broke up with her".
For awhile we had a very strained friendship and I eventually couldnt take it anymore when he called me and asked things like "what dinner places does she like?" and "what sould I get for Jennifer's brothers birthday".
For over a year we didn't talk and now that they have broken up he's trying to re-establish contact with all the friends he blew off in the process. But frankly it ain't going to well for any of us. Things have simply changed.
Now, you may think that if this happend so long ago why am I thinking about it now? Well now that those to broke up, one of my other friends stepped in and took his place. Using similar logic of, well you did break up with her and it's not really any of my business.
We used to hang out 3-4 times a week (we like 5 min apart from each other). I've met him once since new years eve, when I call he's either busy of tired from work. So things have changed. I asked if he wanted to hang out tomorrow, but he's busy the rest of the week and he'll see if he's got time sometime next week. We have talked this over, I'm not as you can imaging thrilled about it, but I don't wanna lose him as a friend.
It makes it easier not being equally pissed this time, the first I was simply pissed because he went behind my back and kept it hidden. Now I just feel... empty that 2 of my best friends seem to think my ex is more intressting then me. I don't know what I hope to gain from this post. It's nothing more then a rant anyway. Share your stories, tell me to grow a pair of ignore it for what it is. Rant.
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I felt the need to re-write my opening. In the spur of the moment, I wrote abit to much in the middle of the night, not really the point. My intent with the whole post was just a rant. My ex started dating one of my best friends which led to some drama and eventually he alienated all his friends in favor of spending time with her.
Now, the same said ex is dating another one of my friends and he is starting to show the same signs of unwillingness to hang out with anyone. Id say they are still in the "honey-moon state" of a relationship where everything is exciting is new. I also get the feeling that he is nervous about the fact that he is dating my ex, despite the fact that I have given him my blessing.
I am simply afraid that I will lose a friend again. Ill leave my first post anyway.
But THIS is what I wanted to discuss. I appreciate everyones input greatly, thank you.
---------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------
About 2 years ago, one of my best friends started dating my ex girlfriend. I suppose she and I didn't have a very good break-up. At that time, she was very depressed, alot. She didn't like my friends, she didn't like leaving the house. Going to the movies was boring, eating out was waste of money, my friends were stupid. Of course, I prolly did alot of stuff that was bad too. It takes 2 to tango. But this is just my side of the story and not really relevant.
I eventually broke up with her because I just couldn't take her negativity anymore.
Just alittle back-story, enjoy.
Anyway, after awhile my started to act very strangly. He rarely answered his phone when I called, turned the rest of the guys when asked to hang out and so on. When his birthday was coming up, we had planned a big party for him with all his friends, but he said that wouldnt be necessary. He had big plans with a secret girl in a fancy hotel. We were all happy for him that he found someone he liked, but still we wanted to throw this party for him and said he could bring her.
He turned us down and we were all confused. 3 months later, one of our common friends finally blurts out on a party while drunk. "Dude.. I don't wanna lie anymore. He's bin dating Jennifer for the past 3 months".
This was one of the biggest shocks I've had in my life. I couldn't for the life of me understand how he had bin keeping thier relationship for over 3 months and blowing off his friends party in favor of my ex. For 2 weeks, I grinded my teeth so hard in my sleep, I had problems eating properly from the pain in my jaw. But I wanted us to still be friends, I asked him why he lied about it, why couldnt you just have told me?
Now, to some this may sound stupid, it's not just the fact that he's dating my ex, it's that he blew all of us off in favor of her. That's what pains me. Short story is basically him telling me he really didn't think it was any of my business and "hey you broke up with her".
For awhile we had a very strained friendship and I eventually couldnt take it anymore when he called me and asked things like "what dinner places does she like?" and "what sould I get for Jennifer's brothers birthday".
For over a year we didn't talk and now that they have broken up he's trying to re-establish contact with all the friends he blew off in the process. But frankly it ain't going to well for any of us. Things have simply changed.
Now, you may think that if this happend so long ago why am I thinking about it now? Well now that those to broke up, one of my other friends stepped in and took his place. Using similar logic of, well you did break up with her and it's not really any of my business.
We used to hang out 3-4 times a week (we like 5 min apart from each other). I've met him once since new years eve, when I call he's either busy of tired from work. So things have changed. I asked if he wanted to hang out tomorrow, but he's busy the rest of the week and he'll see if he's got time sometime next week. We have talked this over, I'm not as you can imaging thrilled about it, but I don't wanna lose him as a friend.
It makes it easier not being equally pissed this time, the first I was simply pissed because he went behind my back and kept it hidden. Now I just feel... empty that 2 of my best friends seem to think my ex is more intressting then me. I don't know what I hope to gain from this post. It's nothing more then a rant anyway. Share your stories, tell me to grow a pair of ignore it for what it is. Rant.
