Poll: Girlfriend/Spouse who plays games: Good or Bad?

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

My wife and I play games together, from WoW to CoD, GTA, Fable, Final Fantasy series... And sometimes it leads to petty fights mostly because I tend to "win" more often than she does, or finish games faster than she does. She tends not to see the things she is good at, however, like how she makes way more money on the AH in WoW than I do, or how she can finish some games that are way too tedious for my ADHD... oh look a bird!
Sorry...
She also seems to think we're in competition most of the time about who the best is, whereas I could care less if she's better than me or I'm better than her. I play to enjoy games, not to dominate someone else. All in all I still think we have a good relationship and I don't think I could handle a woman who didn't play games (last girlfriend I had that didn't would constantly ***** whenever I picked up a controller even though I'd spent most of the day with her).
At any rate, do you think it is good or bad to have a girlfriend/spouse who plays games with you?

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Good usually. My girlfriend and I play CoD together, but she's not a massive gamer (although she's freakishly good at anything in an arcade. fucking House Of The Dead!). It's fun, but you wouldn't want them to hog the console/pc!

 

[Nimcha]

My girlfriend and I both play games, but while my main interests are RPGs, she prefers (online) shooters. It's a nice contrast. We rarely play the same game together, maybe we should try to find a middle ground somewhere.

I've had bad experiences with gaming couples in WoW though, especially if one of them was the GM

 

[Beryl77]

I think it's good. I wish my last girlfriend would have played games. Here where I live, it's very rare to find a girl who plays games.
I guess you should talk with her about this and tell her what you just wrote here. Assure her that you're not in a competition at all and tell her, what she can do better than you in terms of gaming.

 

[TeeBs]

I can take the time out of the day to pay enough attention to a girl to warrant having a girlfriend who doesn't play video games.

My point being I would probably play video games more if I had a girlfriend who also played them, but i'm willing to sacrifice the time to make a relationship work if that isn't the case.

 

[ScarlettRage]

My Boyfriend Plays Black Ops. i was cool with it at first, because i was interested in the zombie conspect, but after watching 2 guys play it for 6 hours i got really bored really quick. mainly cause they don't share 0.o

that and when they are in the zone, they are bitchy.
and they ignore me. fuckers.

but its different when i play... then i just kill them and they rage-quit.

oh btw... the other guy is my boyfriends cousin who he is constantly playing black ops with.

 

[Ashcrexl]

always nice to have interests in common with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with. sin't it?

 

[HellsingerAngel]

Yes. It's a common interest that you share and that's never bad. Common interests will always bring two people closer together which is needed in a relationship. The problem comes when the two gamers in question play for different reasons, such as you and your current girlfriend.

I have the same issue with my girlfriend, too, except in reverse. she plays strictly for pleasure and I generally play to do well. So why don't we fight over most games? Because we know how the other views the game in question. You need to realise that if you're sharing an experience with someone else, you have two different viewpoints on why that experience is enjoyable and have to tailor said experience a little so both can derive the same enjoyment out of it. In the example presented, I try to be a little more lax in my "must do well" attitude when I play with my girlfriend and try to find games that are either simple but enjoyable or that involve an equal amount of gameplay that can't be quantified in how well you're doing. Similarly, she understands that if I get all huffy about how she's doing or if I'm shoving stats in her face, it's not because I think she's bad at the game, but rather that I want her to improve so we can progress together. I'll always wait for my sweetheart and I want her to do well so she doesn't feel like she's a burden and holding me back from enjoying the game.

The ultimate example of this formula for us was definately World of Warcraft. It had enough exploration that we both enjoyed just running off and seeing the sights or farming for materials to make things, while at the same time she learned that games do require hard work to progress but that that's half the fun when you feel like you've accomplished something. We both really enjoyed our time playing the game and it let us spend time together (we're LDR, unfortunately) so it was a really great experience overall.

My suggestion to you is to be open with how you feel and encourage her to be as well. Find what you both like about video games and try to find something that is agreeable for the both of you. In the case of her complaining that you're always better, it might just be a similar issue with her feeling like she's not good enough to hang around you in a raid and has to be on par with you to feel like she's really doing something. That being said, help her achieve what she wants and she'll do the same for you. Gaming together is just another part of the relationship, one that requires equal amounts of attention if it's going to be a couples activity.

Hope this insight helps and happy gaming to the two of you! =D

 

[SimuLord]

Bad, but I say that from the point of view of someone for whom games are a peripheral element.

My ex-wife played WoW, and it created problems in our marriage because it got to the point where she'd rather raid with her guild than go out with her husband. And since I don't play MMOs, it separated us since all she ever talked about was what was going on in her friggin' WoW guild! Her starting to play that accursed game was the moment where, looking back, our communication started to break down. I hate that fucking game.

But beyond that, gaming simply isn't interesting enough to play a main role in a couple's discussion of interests (unless you're a hell of a lot nerdier than I am.) I'd much rather have a girlfriend/potential spouse who's obsessed with the Boston Celtics or the Sweet Science or discussions at length about ancient history or anthropology or Alton Brown or other more socially redeeming things than games.

Gamer chicks just aren't attractive to me unless gaming is "part of this balanced breakfast" in their list of hobbies. I mean, it'd be nice if she liked Fallout 3...but if that's all we've got, I'm not sticking around long.

 

[Good morning blues]

I don't think it's a problem either way, though I've never dated someone who played games more than once in a blue moon.

 

[Count Igor]

Good I say.
GOOD!
But hey, she's just not got high self esteem I guess.
Also, I may as well say it.
You couldn't care less.
If you could care less tells us nothing about how much you care >.>

 

[TaboriHK]

Her gaming habits aren't bad. How could they be? The problem you're having is on another level.

 

[Nieroshai]

My fiancee and I are pretty avid console gamers, and while she's jealous of my OCD helping me be awesome at them, she doesn't make a big deal of it. She doesn't like the idea of MMOs though, which sometimes leads her to get annoyed at me whenever I'm playing WoW. Overall, both of us being gamers has proven to be a good thing.

 

[Nieroshai]

Bad, but I say that from the point of view of someone for whom games are a peripheral element.

My ex-wife played WoW, and it created problems in our marriage because it got to the point where she'd rather raid with her guild than go out with her husband. And since I don't play MMOs, it separated us since all she ever talked about was what was going on in her friggin' WoW guild! Her starting to play that accursed game was the moment where, looking back, our communication started to break down. I hate that fucking game.

But beyond that, gaming simply isn't interesting enough to play a main role in a couple's discussion of interests (unless you're a hell of a lot nerdier than I am.) I'd much rather have a girlfriend/potential spouse who's obsessed with the Boston Celtics or the Sweet Science or discussions at length about ancient history or anthropology or Alton Brown or other more socially redeeming things than games.

Gamer chicks just aren't attractive to me unless gaming is "part of this balanced breakfast" in their list of hobbies. I mean, it'd be nice if she liked Fallout 3...but if that's all we've got, I'm not sticking around long.

I agree that a gaming obsession is a big turnoff but gaming in a relationship is good if balanced. Personally in WoW, I don't even join a guild unless it's the "we'll help you if you help us occasionally" kind as opposed to a "THIS IS YOUR JOB!" kind of guild, and a guild is really just a tool to me. I help if I'm bored, but otherwise they're ok with me doing my own thing.

 

[newwiseman]

It really depends on the types of games the significant other plays and if they have their own software.

My buddies ex got addicted to WoW, an old story at this point, and she refused to use her lame old computer, opting instead for his top of the line machine that he worked really hard to buy. As a result he was never able to use his beloved work horse for a gaming experience.

I've had Girlfriend who enjoyed the occasional racing game, or platformer, and it made the relationship better that she understood the appeal of games.

As opposed to my ex that hated games with a fury I can only liken to that of a devout evangelical Christian and an abortion clinic doctor's union.

I think the deciding factor in most of my relationships wasn't that my GF played games or not but rather if they could see the value they contain.

 

[Starke]

I literally read the poll options as Good/Bad/Ugly: Explain...

 

[Knusper]

discussions at length about ancient history or anthropology or Alton Brown or other more socially redeeming things than games.

I don't know about you, but I am certain I have NEVER talked to a girl about history or literature or anthropology. I think it's more likely that I could find a common interest in gaming than in the academics.

O.T. As can be inferred from above, I think having a common interest in gaming is good if you (or her) have little else that you both have enough knowledge about to talk with (and school doesn't count, by the way).