Poll: How do you feel about lying?

[The Night Angel]

I never lie any more, except to spare feelings or when a secret isn't mine to tell. But I don't lie to cover myself or make myself look good.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, this picture of me COULD be a lie too.....

Spoiler

Well if it's not, that is damn shmexy looking chrome you're pulling off there lass.

Oh why thank you. I try to keep it looking like that, it's not very easy with everyone pawing at me.

 

[requisitename]

I'm distinctly uncomfortable when someone tries to pry information out of me about someone else, so I will lie and say that I don't know even though I do. I will also lie to protect someone else's identity in something they don't want others to know about (though, not to cops or other people who can arrest me, obviously). I believe that a person's information/secrets are their own to dole out however they choose, so I play dumb (lie) to keep from getting caught up in the middle of stuff.

I hate hurting people's feelings. I will tell a white lie or omit information that isn't pertinent in order to avoid causing someone else emotional distress.

Additionally.. when someone I don't know asks me a question I don't care to answer, I make something up. For instance, I used to work in a place that had top secret policies about outsiders knowing exactly what we did (even though it was thoroughly boring and inconsequential, and it wasn't a complete non-disclosure thing, it was more a "general answers are fine, use your head" thing). So, when people I didn't know would ask me what we did there, I'd make something up like, "We experiment on orphaned aliens." or "We braid puppies' whiskers." to give them an answer that wasn't an answer. Lies like that are always absurd, though, and there's no way anyone could possibly think I'm telling the truth.

 

[omega 616]

I am with the girl on this one, I don't lie ... which is odd 'cos people think I am lying when I say that.

With me, people get a warning before being a told a harsh truth or I say something like "I don't want to say", which is still true, I am just not giving them the truth they want.

 

[Suicidejim]

I'll happily lie about petty nonsense or to complete strangers, but as a situation becomes more serious / the people involved become closer to me, I get less and less likely to lie.

I also get a mildly unhealthy amount of enjoyment out of that game you play sometimes where you make every sentence you say technically true, but pick and choose information and arrange the way you say them so that the message you get across, while completely accurate, completely misleads people. This, oddly enough, is often considered a more moral alternative to lying, even though it often takes a hell of a lot more work and deliberate deception than a simple lie would.

 

[General BrEeZy]

I'm a terrible Liar, and I have an even worse Poker-Face.
I'd like to be able to lie more, strange enough to say it, but i feel that way.
But it's probably a good thing I don't pursue that thought-pattern...

 

[zehydra]

It's ok to lie now and then, if you're sparing someone's feelings for example.

I'm not really a fan of this, and lying to spare feelings can often end up doing more harm than good for the sake of his/her feelings

 

[Evil Smurf]

I lie all the time to get out of trouble, I am quite good at it too.

 

[Findlebob]

I hate it.

 

[Dan Steele]

I myself have quite the forked tongue, I find it to be a useful skill in life to manipulate the stupid

 

[Right Hook]

Occasionally I see the reason to lie like sparing feelings, to not have to explain yourself (I mean if the situation isn't bad, you just don't feel like wasting time having to go into great detail, so you say something standard instead of fully fleshing out a story.) and in a few other places. Personally I can usually tell or find out later if someone is lying, it's annoying, I have certain friends who I don't trust a word out of their mouth since it's a 50/50 chance they are lying. I let them know too, especially people who tell lies to make themselves look better, that is fucking pathetic and just proves you are super insecure.

 

[RastaBadger]

I was going to leave a quote from Garak from DS9 here but I can't really pick the best one.
I don't lie when it's very important but occasionally I tell obvious lies for unimportant things to make people think I am bad at lying. That way when I do need to lie for something important people will believe me.

 

[taylorton147]

if the lie has a better outcome than the truth, then i will lie

 

[Agayek]

I've had a couple of friends give me vastly, VASTLY different perspectives on this.

One tells the truth no matter what. Honesty is the best policy, she insists, even if it means being tactless or hurting someone's feelings. She absolutely refuses to lie, or keep anything she feels is important hidden. It's occasionally made things very, very difficult for her, and almost destroyed relationships, but she feels it's a matter of honor.

Another is an inveterate liar. He lies easily and frequently. He thinks that lying is just a useful skill, like any other, that can be used to make social interactions easier for everyone involved. It's never really blown back on him, and even though pretty much everyone knows he's "lie friendly", it hasn't damaged anyone's ability to trust him that I can see, and he's generally regarded as the easier person to get along with than the truthful friend.

So what's your perspective on lying? Do you think it's a moral imperative to tell the truth? Do you restrict yourself to "white lies"? How do you decide what's a fair lie, and what isn't? Would you tell the truth even if telling the truth was damaging? Do you think telling the truth can be as selfish, and as indulgent as lying? Is lying really an issue if you're never caught? What if the lies make everyone feel better, about you, and about themselves? Are YOU a liar?

Poll added because polls are FUN.

The way I look at it, lying is both pointless and stupid. You could lie and spare someone's feeling, but telling a lie doesn't suddenly make it true. The fact of the matter is, reality is as it is, and sugarcoating that doesn't help anyone. It might make things less painful in the short term, but it actively sabotages the long term. There is never an acceptable excuse for knowingly and deliberately misleading someone else, either through untruths or vague statements.

That said, I don't think withholding information is in and of itself a bad thing. It's definitely situational though. The government, for example, should be absolutely 100% transparent with everything it does (except maybe the military, for obvious reasons). An individual though should be able to withhold damn near any information they want from the rest of the world.

Long story short, tell the truth at all times, and if you don't want to talk about it, say you're not going to talk about it.

Also, the passive aggressive bullshit people use because they're too pathetic to actually take a stand really, really needs to stop. Beating around the bush because you're afraid of confrontation does not help anyone.

PS - As a disclaimer, all of this applies only to "serious" topics. There's nothing wrong with lying to someone as part of the setup for a joke, or a surprise of some sort, or whatever. As long as it's not malicious at least.

Edit: I feel I should probably also mention that I am a highly skilled liar, in the situations where I have lied in the past. I'm fairly non-emotive by nature, which leads to a fairly solid poker face. Plus the fact that I make no secret of my approach to lies means people I know trust what I have to say without even thinking to question it. Makes practical joke set ups so much easier.

 

[Fishyash]

I tell white lies to protect other feelings except my own.

I really don't like to lie about myself, especially when I forsee hurting someone in the future. I always question things in general if I am feeling something's up, and obfuscating something is rather embarassing when I am discovered. I'd rather feel the embarrasment sooner rather than later.

However, in general I would prefer not to bring something up instead of lying about it. Some lies are completely meaningless though, so I may tell some white lies to avoid unnecessary pain.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Lying is such a useful skill. Here are some of the things lying can help you with:

Manipulation of others
Getting out of doing all kinds of things
Making people like you
Making people hate you
Getting girls to sleep with you
Doing better at school
Getting a better job
Getting out of trouble

What's not to love about all that?

 

[viranimus]

Hate people that lie. It is infuriating, especially those who lie under the guise of protecting feelings. Little white lies are some of the worst, and most damaging lies told, because sometimes people need to hear that.



I would much rather bear a painful truth than a comfortable lie.

 

[BathorysGraveland]

I picked "Lying is a useful skill" as it holds the most truth and purpose. But I myself try not to lie to much unless I can almost not avoid it. For example, someone asks me if I've seen a certain film and I'm in no mood to listen to someone explain to me what it is about for 5 minutes, I'll just say yes to cut that crap. That sort of thing.

 

[TheTechnomancer]

I think After I started trying really hard to avoid lying I found myself in a position where I would deliberately say the truth in a way that it could easily be misinterpreted. After I realized this I switched my focus to not being deceitful while still telling the truth. My friends are mostly aware of this and I can honestly say that I think my relationships with them have all been better for it. While the truth can sometimes hurt, my friends trust me a lot more than they would otherwise and this leads to greater understanding between us. Another example of this is that I never make a promise unless I am absolutely committed to what I say and this means, when I do make a promise, they know i am committed to keeping it.

The way I look at it, lying is both pointless and stupid. You could lie and spare someone's feeling, but telling a lie doesn't suddenly make it true. The fact of the matter is, reality is as it is, and sugarcoating that doesn't help anyone. It might make things less painful in the short term, but it actively sabotages the long term. There is never an acceptable excuse for knowingly and deliberately misleading someone else, either through untruths or vague statements.

That said, I don't think withholding information is in and of itself a bad thing. It's definitely situational though. The government, for example, should be absolutely 100% transparent with everything it does (except maybe the military, for obvious reasons). An individual though should be able to withhold damn near any information they want from the rest of the world.

Long story short, tell the truth at all times, and if you don't want to talk about it, say you're not going to talk about it.

Also, the passive aggressive bullshit people use because they're too pathetic to actually take a stand really, really needs to stop. Beating around the bush because you're afraid of confrontation does not help anyone.

PS - As a disclaimer, all of this applies only to "serious" topics. There's nothing wrong with lying to someone as part of the setup for a joke, or a surprise of some sort, or whatever. As long as it's not malicious at least.

I pretty much agree with everything you said here, minus a few words and slight change in scale in some places.

 

[Berserker119]

I try to tell the truth, even if it hurts someone's feelings because I just like it. I only lie about really trivial things, like if someone asks me the time of day.