Poll: How does my animation look?

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fa_fallen_ye

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Aug 5, 2010
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I made this for college and i DESPERATLY need responses on it, what's good, what I can change (this is my first time ever using flash or making an animation)

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/553679 (if it's out of sync hit F5)

https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dE1BVkpDemdBV0ZNb1AwTlR3UkMyd1E6MQ (if you want to do a small questionaire)

Either give responses on my crummy questionaire or down there in the comments thanks for your time :)
 

SultanP

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Mar 15, 2009
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Too much head bobbing. Really, a bobbing head is only really necessary if a character doesn't have a mouth that moves when he talks, and even then the head bobbing should be when he talks, not always. Also, I'm not sure I would have that kind of close-up on the ass for a college project, but maybe that's just me. Maybe have him walk up some stairs to the podium instead of floating there, would help with eliminating some wildly unnatural movement.

Other than that I guess it was fine. I didn't understand the point of the animation, to be honest, but that wasn't what you were asking about.

Edit: Maybe a bobbing head is some sort of characteristic for whoever you took the sounds from, I don't know.
 

zeonz

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Sep 26, 2010
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The walking animation seems realy bad and unnatural. is he some kind of weird crablike creature?
the head constantly bobs the same animation, not very lifelike is it?
why does the unicycle keeps spinning?
the sound seems to abrupt in the begining and stops somewhere in a sentence and immidietly stars the next sentence. i coulden't make out what was being said when that happened.
i quote "some electronic item" and a mouse and xbox controllet get out. not only should it be 1 thing, but probaly something a bit more technical but less known? ( some kind of weird gadget perhaps ).
i quote "1 of my video machines" and then he poops out a computer. should either be a console now or something like a dvd recorder or VCR even.
i quote "600 pounds of a fish" and then there's a tiny thing that barely resembles a fish with 600 on it.
The animation doesen't has an end and keeps going on forever.
i quote "4 lolipops" yet there's only 1

if you make something, please be persistant and at least keep the simple details right.
 

Fire Daemon

Quoth the Daemon
Dec 18, 2007
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How long have you had to make it?

If its a major assignment that is in dire need of improvement. I'm not a flash expert and even I can tell you that the bobbing head is clearly a way for you to animate as little as possible while still making it look like you've done something. I'm pretty sure that whoever marks this will think the same. A very easy way of improving on this is giving it a neck, makes it look like you aren't just repeating the same animation a little less.

Give it a better background, the blue haze looks lazy. More mouth shapes for different sounds. The bum close up was ugly, so if that's what you want than well done but don't be surprised if that just ends up counting against you. It should have some sort of credit sequence with your name on it at the end. Put more detail into the many objects you spawn, the unicycle is particularly bad.

If this is only a small assignment in which you haven't had months to work on than don't worry about it, but why you would come to us for something small is beyond me.
 

Mr. Cheese

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Sep 29, 2009
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Fix the head and the lip-synching, change the art (maybe use a tablet) and practice flash in general a lot by making shittons of short clips/drawing pictures in it.

Eventually you get better (you should if you have any modicum of skill) and then the better animations/drawings follow.

Also, make him blink or he gets creepy.
 

zombiesinc

One day, we'll wake the zombies
Mar 29, 2010
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I found that the bobbling head was quite distracting. I don't think it'd be too bad if it were going with what's being said, and not constantly repeating the same animation. I didn't enjoy the close-up of the butt, though perhaps that's what you were going for.

I'm not sure what the clip was about, but the entire idea of some guy poopin' out items isn't of interest to me. The voice bits are too inconsistent, which if you're going to use a soundboard, or separate clips from one person, can't be helped, but it's worth a mention. I also think that you could change the background to add a little depth to the entire clip.

With a little practice and a few tweaks, I'm sure you'd do fine. Though, as Deamon already mentioned, that highly depends on how large the assignment is.
 

DiMono

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Mar 18, 2010
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If you're looking to make an interesting animation, you need more animation of body parts and less of bobbing head. The body part animation doesn't need to be anything big, just adjust an arm here and there, but it goes a long way towards making your animation more engaging if the characters don't seem like they're cardboard cutouts.

Aside from that, given what you seemed to be trying to accomplish, I think you did a pretty good job.
 

Squilookle

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Nov 6, 2008
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Can I just say- nudge his pupils a bit to the right so he's looking at us, so it's like he's talking to us.

If he's not meant to be looking at us, make him look further away from the camera so it doesn't seem like he's talking to anyone near us.
 

skywalkerlion

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Jun 21, 2009
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Yet another person telling you to fix the bobbing head. It's funny in machinima if you're doing it to mock other bad machinimators or you're doing it to overly dramatize it (so as to make it humorous), but otherwise, just don't do it.
 

fa_fallen_ye

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Aug 5, 2010
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TheHecatomb said:
Your college accepts stuff like this? It's absolutely terrible. Honestly, does this even count as animation? Do you even know how the simplest human movements are constructed? Have you even bothered to study them? I can't believe I wasted my time on this.
First animation ever and first time I've ever used Flash ¬.¬ so no I haven't studied human movements or anything like that, nice criticism very constructive.
 

TheHecatomb

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May 7, 2008
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fa_fallen_ye said:
First animation ever and first time I've ever used Flash ¬.¬ so no I haven't studied human movements or anything like that, nice criticism very constructive.
That's a poor excuse. Let me put it another way; Do you even know what animation is? Animation is trying to create movement in a convincing manner. There's a big difference between creating something that moves, and creating movement. There's rules and there's tricks. Anticipation. Stretch-'n-squash. And many many more. Now you're probably going to make another poor excuse by saying it's meant to be cartoony or that you have "your own style", but that's an even worse thing to say. You cannot develop your own style if you have not tried to understand why established styles work. And judging from the fact that this is your first animation, I can tell that you have not.
To cartoonify is to stylize and simplify. How can you simplify something as complex as an emotion or a movement if you have not studied the actual thing? How can you capture the essence of a footstep in just 3 frames if you have not studied an actual foot? Sure you can try, but you will very VERY rarely succeed. And if you do succeed, it is by luck only.

The reason your excuse is a very poor one is this; Imagine someone you knew was to say "Hey Faye, I'm going to make you an apple pie!", and then presented you a hot dish with a tablespoon of sugar and a banana peel on it. You'd tell him it does not look anything like an apple pie, and you'd ask him if he's even looked up how to make one. Don't argue, you would. Unless he's only 2 years old and your child. Then you'd just say he's cute, put him to bed and clean up the mess. But I digress.

You've obviously done some research if only by just watching other stuff on the sewer that is Newgrounds, but your project is never going to convince anyone who's looked into animation if you can't show you understand at least the basics.

This has nothing to do with story, humor, target audience or whatever. You've attempted to create something without first understanding what it is you're trying to create. And I called you out on it. Saying it's your first attempt won't do. Practice by animating a bouncing ball. Or a stick figure jumping. Stick figures are an excellent way to practice animation, because they let you focus on the movement only. There's no point in dressing your figures up with beards, or even eyes and mouths if you haven't gotten the action right. They'll only serve to amplify the poor quality beneath.

Now I do owe you an apology because I have no idea what kind of school you're going to and if it's a place where they actually expect you to understand animation, but if you enjoy doing it and actually want to get somewhere with it, I suggest you learn this lesson. Believe me when I say I've also had my share of harsh criticisms to deal with. Any developing artist has. But they are essential to your progress, and if you can keep it up you'll understand this.

After all, you did 'desperately' want comments. Don't scream you're hungry if you're gonna choke on a mouthful, you'll be alright. ;)