Poll: I need an outside opinion

[ecoho]

ok so i got lied to by a friend for like the hundreth time, and when i confronted him about it(the first time since ive known him as ive ignored most of it) he went off on me saying that hes tired of people calling him lier and scum. now i never called him a lier or scum but i did say he had lost my trust. i still consider him a friend but he might not feel the same.now my question is did i do anything wrong?

 

[Anarchemitis]

An obvious way to help him with compulsive lying would be to catch him in a lie but the best way would be to have patience and try to very gently help him realize that he has a problem. That is my uneducated opinion in the matter.

 

[ecoho]

An obvious way to help him with compulsive lying would be to catch him in a lie but the best way would be to have patience and try to very gently help him realize that he has a problem. That is my uneducated opinion in the matter.

I used to have a friend who frequently lied. At first we all thought if we were gentle with him, he would grow out of it. Instead he got worse. When he started telling lies designed to turn me against my brother, that was when I knew it was time to kick him to the curb.

Or alternatively, I have heard of an associate of a friend who is a compulsive liar. Basically they used their contact with this person purely to laugh at the whoppers he would unabashedly drop and not realize that what they were saying was completely ridiculous.

So how you deal with this person is entirely up to you, but I would caution that anyone who would intentionally mislead you is someone who disrespects you at a fundamental level. The moment they started lying to you, they stopped being your friend. You don't owe them any friendship in return. I say maintain the relationship only as long as you get something out of it. But beware that allowing a liar to get away with their lies can be a form of enabling. Sometimes we don't need understanding to overcome our problems. Sometimes we need nothing more than a sharp kick in the ass.

thank you both. i will stay his friend but im not gonna let him lie to me anymore its just not worth the headaches, i mean now hes got another of my friends pissed at me because he is aparently going through a hard time(in college who isnt)im tired of his lies and im tired of his pitty parties that i dont even know if they're real. thank you again for actualy posting i needed some feed back.