BGH122 said:
Except yes, it is laden with misandry. Take, for example, her holding the organisation 'Men Can Stop Rape' up as a laudable effort. It is a deeply offensive insinuation that the duty to prevent men raping women somehow lies with non-rapist males more than anyone else and that machismo itself is inextricably tied with rape. It's an 'all men are to blame unless they prove otherwise' assumption. Why should I, a non-rapist male, be more accountable for rapists than a non-rapist female? It's a disgracefully misandric accusation, akin to me saying that all women have a duty to actively stop prostitution or else you're all prostitutes in my book. If you can't see why that's misandric, how lumping all men in as 'the enemy' unless they prove otherwise is anything but pro-equality then I'm not sure what more I can do to convince you.
Oh goodness. If that's how you understand that, then yeah, there's a problem.
The organization Men Can Stop Rape is not saying rape prevention lies exclusively with non-rapist males. It serves different purposes, including:
1) rape prevention is largely placed on WOMEN. Victims of rape. This organization offers women male allies, to let them know that rape is not solely our responsibility.
2) It's not holding you accountable. It's saying "guess what, we know that all men aren't asshole rapists, and this is a group of men acting out against the men that do." Men Can Stop Rape was founded BY MEN. It doesn't lump you with the enemy (rapists), it's an organization that avows to RISE ABOVE the myth that all men are rapists.
The fact is, as it stands, right now women are mostly responsible for rape prevention - that is what our culture. Women are told how they must dress, act, and behave in order to prevent rape. Men, other than the rapist, are not taken into account. That's why the organization exists - to let victims of rape know that there are men who CARE that people, both WOMEN AND MEN, are raped, and find it unfair and something that needs to be changed. That you think that's misandric is frankly completely puzzling and nonsensical.
Also, I would hope that, AS A PERSON, we all work to end rape, prostitution, etc. This group, along with Men Against Violence, exists because culturally, the oft-used 'script' for dealing with rape prevention lies ONLY with women.
It appears to me, from her various rants on The Guardian and The F Word, that she makes the claim that she's not against men, but masculinity. This seems to me to be proposing a system that abhors difference as 'wrong', where if we are not all exactly identical with regards to our interpretations of gender then those who women who are more feminine, those men who are more masculine are 'wrong' and their traits necessarily destructive. Perhaps misandry is an inept title here, I suppose bigot fits better.
I'm no expert on Valenti, but she talks about CERTAIN ASPECTS of masculinity. The fact is, femininity and masculinity are, in essence, cultural concepts that WE have created. There are positives and negatives to both. The idea of GLORIFIED masculinity is something that Valenti combats - and these things are issues our society has labeled as 'masculine,' but are not necessarily inherent to the male sex.
For instance, the issue of crying. Everyone will choose to express emotions differently, but our culture considers it 'masculine' to be stoic and not cry. This is a false issue, something not inherent to masculinity, but men crying in our society earns them ridicule. And this is wrong - and a double standard. But, I'm not going to belabor this point as Lolotea summarized nicely.
I guess main takeaway - I think you don't quite understand Valenti's point, or even realize what she's getting at when she talks about harmful masculinity. :-/