Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?

[rockera]

I was and I get afraid when my parents get angry regardless if they are angry at me or not, so no I do not support it.

 

[katsumoto03]

Yes. It made me a benevolent fucking paragon because it totally has lasting psychological effects.

No, seriously.

By lasting psychological effect, you mean that children learns that every action (whether good or bad) has its consequences ? I agree.

Nope. It merely implants the idea in their minds. Trust me, it never gets anybody anywhere once the kids turn, what, four?

 

[Iwana Humpalot]

Nope, i did not get spanked Probably because i always ran away and crawled under the bed and started crying until my parents started to feel sorry and gave me cookie for making me feel bad/scared or because my crying torn their ears apart.

 

[PureChaos]

i was a couple of times but don't think it made any difference. if i have kids i will only smack them if the REALLY play up but that's about it

 

[kasperbbs]

rarely.. did it make me a better person? who knows.. but it sure prevented me from doing the same stupid thing again that i got punished for. seeing how kids from my building act i have to support it ,i wish their parents would spank the **** out of them because i sure as hell want to.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

No. I quite clearly stated

States what? You're saying that saying spanking is used by lazy parents is offending you. It's also offensive to me to say that spanking is an effective measure when I can attest that it's not and so can loads of my friends who were also spanked.

51% of those polled have had it done and agree. 55% agree with it.

This is a simple black and whiteish poll. More data needs to be gathered before you reach that conclusion.

Then, by your definition, scolding a child is as bad as spanking him.

What are you talking about?

If you wish to use non-violent methods on your children (and I'll be amazed if you manage)

You were obviously brought up in a world where violence is the only solution since you hold that opinion. My father managed to raise me without the use of violence. I suppose he's either a miracle worker or just an ordinary person who never used violence with his children and still managed to raise them.

ut don't make sweeping statements about 300 different sets of parents just because you don't believe in it.

I will make "sweeping statements". Spanking is the easy way out. Of course I'm going to consider a parent lazy for spanking them since they wouldn't bother take the harder route.

Right. For supposedly 'advanced' beings we (as a race) have an awful lot of trouble suppressing our own natural urges and instincts.

But we can supress them. That's what makes us intelligent. That's what led us to where we are at today and unfortunately when we can't supress those emotions we end up using violence.

Also, good for your dog. I'm glad to see you approve of using animal tactics to raise a child.

I mean for christ sake, we're part of a race that have fought countless wars over opinions and clashes of ideals. We meaninglessly killed others because of the colour of their skin or the beliefs they held in their head and you're trying to tell me we're superior beings to many maternal animals?

Yes. The simple fact that we hold ideals prove that.

But this doesn't automatically throw physical punishments out of the window.

Yes it does. We're supposed to break free of our animal instincts. How are we going to do so if we still cling to them?

A cut will invariably hurt a child, it's a cut and it draws blood and will hurt no matter how.

If done right there will be barely any blood if none at all and of course it will hurt, for a while. Just like spanking.

A cut will invariably hurt a child, it's a cut and it draws blood and will hurt no matter how.

Snip

Of course not every child is the same. Every child's development depends on the actions of the parent. If the child was beaten then of course that child will only respond to violence. Violence is the ultimate punishment and any other attempt to discipline him/her will not work. But what are you going to do when that child becomes a teenager? Are you going to beat him then to? What happens when the child punches you back? Are you going to beat him with a weapon next? How are you going to discipline a teenager who now only responds to violence? You won't be able to, because no matter what you try they will still only respond to either verbal or physical violence.

And when I actually put that into context of my own childhood it just sounds completely and utterly ridiculous. Why the hell would a child have to "fight back" against his parents? Talk about fostering a rebelious attitude and no respect for authority.

Are you saying as a teenager you would gladly accept corporal punishment? And of course I do not support the respect of a higher authority. I believe each person should form their own opinion and their own moral spectrum and not have someone else do so for them.

The role of any parent is to raise, nurture, and guide their children into adult hood. And unlike what some people like to think children aren't just little people, the same as the rest of us only smaller.

No, they're not. But they're not animals either. The same thing applies to pets and yet you do not hit them. In fact, hitting a pet can land you in jail.

A simple primitive discipline is used because words and reason won't always reach a child like it would ann adult. Or like a teenager for that matter.
.

Yes they will. You do not need to hit a child to make him understand that eating soap can hurt you.

Saying that spankings stop when you grow into a teenager because you're now able to "fight back" is just absurd.

You're correct. Teenagers will gladly accept a spanking and it will totally do more good than just talking to them. Do you honestly believe that or are you fucking with me?

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

Spanking by a calm, composed parent is fine. My mom was (is) emotionally unstable, so the spanking crossed the line of acceptability many times. Also, it's important not to discount verbal abuse disguised as "lectures" when looking at discipline that screws up a kid for life.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

It seems like a false analogy to compare the interaction of adult humans and their children to that of a nursing ***** and her pups.

That depends on what you're looking at and how you judge human beings against other animals.

 

[Varya]

Thank you, sir, for making my point. Seriously, I'm sick of all this crap about how any kind of physical discipline is child abuse. It's needed, and parents who completely forsake it will, more likely than not, raise lazy, amoral people.

See, by that logic, Sweden would be a lazy, amoral country by now, since all form of spanking is illegal and has been since 79. Sweden is one of the most secular countries in the world. We are leading in gender equality and we sure as hell aren't a lazy people.

 

[Sikachu]

This is to quash a claim on another thread that anecdotes from people who were spanked aren't proof it works and another person questioned when opinion becomes survey data?

I say: when you make a Poll on the Escapist!!!

So, if you were spanked as a child, please answer whether you support it, due to your own experiences or otherwise. If you weren't spanked, please don't say yes or no solely based on your own opinion of spanking. I've made some options for you, partially to keep you from lying and ruining the poll but also to answer a statistical question of my own...

Have fun, discuss and don't be jerks!!

Did it make me a better person? How the fuck am I supposed to answer that question? This is totally flawed as a piece of 'research'. Severity and regularity of spanking is not taken into account, we're being asked to conjure up some magical scenario in which we know what we would have been like but for a couple of minor changes, there is inherent bias in the way the question is framed (no 'it made no difference' or 'it made me worse' options). Basically just a total failure to achieve anything worthwhile, but maybe you'll get some comments from people that were never spanked about how bad it is, some comments from people that were spanked about how it really makes no difference, and some comments from kids that were abused about how bad being hit is.

My two cents on the topic run basically that it's acceptable to slap or spank your child within reasonable limits of power (so it hurts a bit but doesn't cause physical damage) but that the parent doing so mustn't ever be doing it in anger or in fear - it must be done with a cool head.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

I don't think it makes any difference in the future person, but there is still no justifiable reason for it.

 

[thylasos]

I think it kept me in line, but it only happened a few times. As to what effect it had, I couldn't guess. My guess would be... an utterly negligable one.

 

[gl1koz3]

Spanking is not the best memories ever.

But if you do it before you start remembering anything, it should be fine.

 

[qeinar]

i belive wheter you were spanked or not would not impact the person you are today to greatly.

 

[Tron-tonian]

My parents used spanking as the "You dun goofed" method of punishment - that is, when it was SO bad, there was nothing other than a spanking to get the point across.

Kids don't come with a built-in moral compass - it's up to the parents to help set it. Spanking can be an effective method - it allows the kid to ask themselves "If I do this, will I get my ass tanned for it?". It brings consequences into the picture for a kid who may be on the verge of doing something really stupid.

For myself and 2 brothers, the total # of times were were spanked is under 15, less than 5 each - and this comes from my father, who is pretty proud of the fact that we didn't need any serious discipline in our lives.

I've given my own child a spanking (one smack) when she was just under 2 and in her biting phase. It quit very soon after. She got the point that biting hurt and the behavior changed. Telling her to stop and that it hurt wasn't working, spanking did. Other than that, she's a good kid and I (hopefully) won't have to do it again.

 

[Mittens The Kitten]

I voted yes, without physical discipline, I would not of had the values I have today. Respect for others, self-control etc. I feel sorry for the parents who don't physcially discipline their children because they are letting them down and I feel sorry for the kids because they are not learning the lessons they need to.

Children need to be taught that adults see violence as an acceptable means of communication.

 

[Eri]

I got spanked as a child. Honestly I don't think it made me worse or better. It was just whatever. Meh.

 

[Danpascooch]

No! Parenting without spanking says: "I am your parent, and you have to listen to me because I have more experience than you, and provide for you"

Parenting with spanking says: "I am your parent, and you have to listen to me because I'm stronger than you"

Children need to listen to their parents because the parents have more experience, and are supposed to guide the child, not because they are afraid of the parent because he/she is physically stronger!

 

[Danpascooch]

I was spanked as a kid and I ended up being a bitter and angry person. I hate my family I've had no contact with mum's side of it. I do love my dad, however, and he's got me through a lot of shit. In fact, if he didn't put all that effort into me I'd be dead by now. Granted there were some abandonment issues but those pale in comparison to how many times I was "disciplined".

Even so, you have no right to beat your child. Your child is not an animal, it's a human being. It's frowned upon to beat your animals and you can even end up in jail for doing so and yet it's acceptable to beat your child.

My views on spanking are pretty clear but I've got one more thing to add. If you think you've got the right to spank your child then I think I have the right to cut my child. The argument for spanking goes that if done right it's a good disciplining method. Well my argument is that if you do cutting right, it's also a good disciplining method. In fact, anything done right is a good disciplining method including burning, drowning attempts and abandonment.

Generally, spanking and beating aren't looked at as being the same thing.

Are you hitting the child? Yes, you are. Spanking is a fancy way of saying beating your child.

Sweeping generalizations are hardly compelling.

I was spanked as a child. I love both of my parents and harbor no resentment whatsoever. Besides, I always preferred spanking to any other form of discipline - 5 minutes, and then its over. The few times I was grounded were horrible.

What does spanking teach a child? It teaches them to listen to their parents because they are stronger, not because they are more experienced, and equipped to teach you right from wrong.

Liking your parents doesn't mean spanking was right, it just means spanking was wrong enough to kill your relationship, which I don't think it usually is.

I don't think spanking is EXTREMELY wrong, but I DO think it's wrong, because it teaches the child the wrong lesson, that you should fear your parents physically.

Whether or not you personally thought it was a better punishment than being grounded doesn't really matter, because different people apply different levels of force, and for every person like you, there is another who is spanked way too hard.