Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?

[Nyaliva]

Mmm, maybe. But when my mum and dad just told us off, I just shrugged it off and didn't pay attention. First time my dad clipped us one was when I vandilised property. Didn't do it again. I needed to learn (as a child), bad actions = pain and therefore I didn't want to get smacked again so I sure as hell didn't do it again. Then as I grew I learned that vandalising is just a fucked up thing and thus, now (as an adult) I don't do it because of reasoning and not becasue it's related to pain.

In caveman terms: Kids are stupid, some (like moi) need physcial punishment. Not a hardcore beating but a clip across the lug a few times. Some kids maybe just need a telling off... pussies xD

So you're saying the only two options are tell off or give 'em a smackin'?
How about showing that actions have consequences. Do not want to eat your vegetables? You go hungry? Fight with brother? No TV. These things work. Might not be as immediate, but then, when I started school I was imprinted with the moral that no one should physically harm another. And when I was bullied, hit and beaten, I knew THEY were doing wrong, because I was taught that there were no circumstances when violence was accepted. What If I had learned that a smack meant I should be quiet and do as I was told? Did you know that it's a form of hypnosis? If we get struck and learn that is what we get for being bad, no matter WHO strikes you, your brain is telling you that you are doing wrong. And that, is something that I will never teach my kids

I entered school with the same mentality and still abide by it. I was never beaten up but I know if I was I wouldn't be fighting back because it's wrong, I'd just go to a teacher. "Then how can you support spanking?" I hear you say. Because it's not violence, it never taught me violence was the answer but it DID teach me that actions have consequences. I never saw a spank as violence, I saw it as punishment and I still do. However, I do believe it only works to a certain age. After that kids do start to read it as violence. THAT's when you start taking away TV and such, because most of the time before that it wouldn't have worked as effectively.

 

[Nyaliva]

This poll doesn?t represent the majority and the stories posted here are anecdotes.

And what's your point? Anecdotal evidence or not; it's what the OP is asking for. You seem to have nothing of value to contribute to this thread so why are you here?

-snip-

is this not sufficient?

Yes, if you're undecided as to how to raise your children. But you see, those of us who were spanked and believe it worked will likely use the same tactic because we know both how and why it works because we've seen it done properly. You can wave your "data" and "proof" in the air all you like and you can cuddle up to your psychological societies but the fact is some people believe in spanking and all the "evidence" in the world isn't going to undo the first-hand experience they've had which you so lovingly refer to as anecdotes.

Do you know why I made this poll? Not to show that spanking is the best policy, but to show everyone (mainly people like you) that it can be done right and just because the psychological societies have tests showing it can be detrimental doesn't mean it always is. If you've been spanked the way you should be, you'll know it's a good policy. Maybe not the best and certainly not for everyone but it can work. The fact that I turned out okay (I'm not being egotist here, you ask anyone I know and they'll say I'm one of the nicest people they know, they tell me so themselves) is proof that spanking doesn't ALWAYS cause harm and it's proof to ME that it it's a good policy, and that's all I need. So say what you like but people will continue to spank their children without causing harm.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

My views on spanking are pretty clear but I've got one more thing to add. If you think you've got the right to spank your child then I think I have the right to cut my child. The argument for spanking goes that if done right it's a good disciplining method. Well my argument is that if you do cutting right, it's also a good disciplining method. In fact, anything done right is a good disciplining method including burning, drowning attempts and abandonment.

That literally makes no sense. Did you get spanked in the logic? The only "correct" method of attempted drowning involves not performing the act itself. It's a false postulate, so you cannot use it as evidence in any sound argument.

In dealing with his cat, my roommate clearly subscribes to the idea that you should never raise a hand to an animal. I'm really enjoying the scratched-to-hell couch and carpet...

Spanking is a controlled striking of the buttocks. It's not whipping with a belt. It's not winding up and leaving whelts. It's not domestic abuse. It's a disciplinary tool. That's it. As a parent, it's your job to know whether or not spanking will benefit your child short/medium/long-term. If the tool doesn't fit the job, you obviously shouldn't use it. The important thing is that you get the job done, and that job is disciplining your child.

And if you think children (or pets or adults) don't need discipline, I think you're very wrong - and I don't look forward to interacting with the entitled, selfish, destructive people/animals hailing from your sphere of influence.

 

[Hairetos]

Parenting done right means that you should be able to instill values in the kid that cause them to be responsible, rather than using motivation-by-fear.

I was rarely spanked, and when I was it just made me resentful of authority.

 

[llubtoille]

Belts were the punishment of the day
I'm a well adjusted hateful social recluse

 

[agentironman]

I think spanking works when used properly. That is the way my parents did it for me and my brother. We were not spanked for little things but when we did something that called for a spanking there was a quick and decisive whipping. In hindsight I think they were done appropriately and humanely.

We cried but they never left any marks beyond a few minutes and a belt was never used. When you spank the kid for every little thing they do wrong or do it where they can't sit down the parents are doing it wrong and it is not an affective form of punishment.

 

[OtherSideofSky]

Yes.
It made me smart enough to know that spanking is a shitty punishment that doesn't work and is often immediately enacted in the heat of anger without a proper assessment of what has actually transpired. I have, therefore, learned that physically harming children as a form of discipline sets a terrible example and won't ever be doing it to anyone myself. Discipline based in reason and composure is far more effective and inspires a far more genuine respect. If my own experience is anything to go by, children receive all the beatings they really need from other children already, without any outside interference. Spanking just teaches that it's okay for the physically stronger to abuse those under their care and perpetuates the cycle of violence. Both of my parents would get angry and punish me in this manner when they thought, often mistakenly, that I had done something wrong as a child and, while I love them very much, I have very little respect for them as a result and was forced to seek out role models who understood self control and the value of fully understanding a situation before administering punishment.

Spanking may be a disciplinary tool when applied properly, but I argue that it is a very inferior one when compared to that offered by a system of rules and rewards. I did not receive proper discipline as a child until, at the age of eight, I prepared a contract, which both I and my parents then signed, stipulating exactly the rules I was expected to follow and what my punishment was to be in each case. This primarily consisted of withholding my weekly allowance, then $5, if I broke any major rule or broke a minor rule three times or more. My property was not to be touched unless I had in some way definitely abused it (as in using it to cause harm to another person or their property) and money I earned from yard work was mine to keep and could not be docked except for misconduct in the performance of said work (It would be absurd to perform labor for no certain pay, especially when I was expected to the work of a professional). As I received no additional money or any gifts outside of my birthday and Christmas, this system proved very effective in teaching me not only to maintain proper social conduct but also to manage my own finances with care in a way which physical punishment, always the first resort of the brutish and unsubtle, could never hope to have done.

In contrast, when I was spanked I merely resented my parents and learned to break rules without them noticing. I have never bowed to a system which does not command my respect and I do not believe that physical aggression of the strong against the weak can be justified in such a case unless it is in retaliation for a similar offense. For example: If your child hits you, it is then perfectly acceptable to spank them in retaliation. This teaches the important lesson that they shouldn't pick fights with people they can't beat.

If parents didn't spoil their kids rotten in every other way possible, the need for this kind of punishment would rarely arise.

 

[theriddlen]

It didn't made me a better person, because i never gave a sh** about what my parents wanted me to be - and thank god for my strong personality, i would never want to become something even similar to my parents.

Though i think that spanking, used rarely and with a reason (other that stress relieve for parent...) is a good thing.

 

[Squilookle]

I was and I totally support it- provided it is done responsibly. I was very rarely whacked and only when I had landed myself in deep trouble. It barely ever hurt- what got to me was the shame of being beaten -like an animal- presumably because I had behaved like one.

And yes, it worked.

 

[lacktheknack]

A wooden spoon to the massive fat bottom did not traumatize me, but it made me act like less of a pillock back at the time. I don't begrudge my parents for spanking me at all.

Obviously, beating is a problem, but I don't understand why parents are so resistant and "sensitive to [their] child's needs" when what most kids NEED is a good, solid thunk on the ass. Seriously, if they stop crying in less than a minute, it worked.

 

[Drummodino]

Ok I think there needs to be some clarification. Spanking does not equal beating. Beating is bad. Spanking is perfectly fine when it is justified. I was spanked when I was young, and I still love my family and I think I turned out pretty well. Beating is stepping over the line, with repeated blows all over the body, which causes severe physical and mental trauma. Spanking is a slap on the bum with an open hand or an instrument like a wooden spoon (what I got). Sure you are uncomfortable sitting for a while, but it teaches you discipline and what is right and wrong.

I think it's rather interesting that the poll shows people who were spanked generally support it, whereas people who weren't generally don't... intriguing.

 

[SkyeNeko]

some people just dont know how to spank their kids and go about it wrong. just plain spanking them doesnt help in my opinion, you need there to be respectful fear. also, i dont support anything above slapping covered areas (with hand, belt, w/e).

EDIT: yes i was spanked, but my rents just seemed to get tired of it after a while. yes i respect authority and all the jazz.

 

[Taldeer]

I can kinda see what your saying here. I think that a lot of this is coincidence, but being disciplined in such a pliable manner may have something to do with it.

Thanks for that. I guess you're right, makes sense that it's a mix of many things.

 

[DarkShadow144]

I was never beaten as a child, what my parents did was rule through fear the first like 13 years of my life. An example of this would be that one day I walked in on my father screaming at the top of his lungs at my older sister for getting a progress report. (at that point in time, they were sent to students that were missing work in classes.) It was like watching a shark go at a seal (ill let you think about that). then a few weeks later when i got one, I just broke down into tears in the middle of class so that I had to be sent to the guidence councilor with a call to my parents. They've stopped since then, but ive still been kinda screwed from those first 13 years

 

[Alucard832]

I was spanked, switched, and belted and I fully support it. Until kids reach a certain age, physical punishment is the only way to deal with certain behavior. Obviously small things should be handled with less severe punishment like time-outs and what have you. There are also some obvious rules: closed-fist is completely unacceptable, you should only hit them in the rear (unless using a switch or something where the arms/legs are fine), If at all possible they should be warned that continued misbehaving will get them spanked, leaving a welt or small bruise alright but shouldn't be the goal, drawing blood is NOT ok, and most of all you make sure that you are NOT injuring your child.

My dad is a complete asshole - he was the one who threatened to belt me at the drop of a dime and continued to do so until I was old enough to kick his ass. *Skip to the next paragraph if you don't want find out part of why my dad's a psychopath*. When he realized that I could take him if he started a fight, he changed his tactic to enticing me to hit him first so he could call the cops. This isn't a good idea as if he ever did push me into Limit Break, I would beat him until he was dead or within an inch of being so (I have no immediate family strong enough to stop me), and I would enjoy it a lot. Luckily, anything that would break my Limits would justify me legally and morally. I know because he's literally done everything short of anything that would legally allow me to attack him. Once I got older, I could tell that he's pretty much a clean-cut psychopath with a fair amount of mental issues, but I digress.

I would say that him being overzealous with a belt definitely factors into why I hate him so much. However, my mother, who administered 90% of the spankings I ever got, did a great job of it. She never spanked or threatened to unless there was a completely justified reason (however unfair it may have seemed back then), and she followed all of the guidelines I mentioned above. She has her own faults (like being useless when Glenn throws his raging *****-fits), but I consider her a good parent overall.

tl;dr spanking is a great way to punish children, but it has rules. If you repeatedly break those rules, you can't blame your kids for hating you.

 

[Pifflestick]

All I have to do is look at my little brother and I can say that yes, spanking did make me a better person. I'm wise, emotionally strong, respectful, and I stay on the right side of the law. My little brother breaks whatever he feels like, screams bloody murder when he dosn't get his way, and has pulled a knife on my sister. If he was properly punished, he would not be the danger to everyone around him that he is.

 

[Eisenfaust]

i was spanked... with a particularly study slipper... stung like hell, but i only ever got it about twice... after the first two times i learned me lesson and consciously reconsidered acting out to avoid it

and by "acting out" i mean wanton childhood douchebaggery, so it wasn't something that forced me to live an overly inhibited life, etc, etc

i've no idea whether it makes you a "better person" as such, there are too many other confounding variables to ever know for sure (plus any studies that would accurately test it would be wildly unethical) but at the very least it seems to instil a sense of consequence, knowledge that there is punishment for bad actions...

i am a firm believer in the "spare the rod, spoil the child" argument, whether it be an actual physical punishment or something more psychological is up to the parent's creativity, but today's society of social services and knee jerk reactions seems to have almost abolished it, and i'm sort of worried that in 10 years everyone alive will be self-righteous twats with no sense of discipline or self control...

 

[Mcupobob]

I got the strap at during school. Wasn't in front of the other kids but lead back and hit. I was a little shit and I wouldn't have changed that moment. I say as long as the kid knows why then its okay. Though sometimes spanking doesn't get through kids, so you got to find the punishment that will let them learn their lesson and hopeful become a better person.

What do I know? I just hope that when I have kids I can guide them to be halfway decent human being.