Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?

[s0p0g]

yeppers, and i sure as hell think kids nowadays could use a little spanking as well.
when i take a look of what's coming only a few years after me, where most parents seem to forbear from spanking and parenting in general, i... well, fear for my pension ^^
and our society as a whole.

what kids dare... i most assuredly didn't when i was their age

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

I can't say, because I don't know what kind of person I would be if I hadn't had the crap smacked out of me as a kid. I had a ton of complicated issues growing up, and I still can't tell what was what. Now that I've got my shit together, though, I've got it together tight.

I guess you could say it made me a screwed-up kid, but a very good adult.

 

[Senaro]

Spankings are reserved for repeated offenses for things I new I wasn't supposed to do. Sometimes a kid simply deserves to be punished.

 

[Stasisesque]

. It's been discussed to death, there's no data to support it has any positive or negative long term effect

There's no data?



There are studies showing both positive and negative effects. These are all the links I found on the first page of google after searching for studies.

And if there are no negative or positive effects to it then why should we use it?

That's what I mean by no data, apologies for not being clearer. If we have a 50/50 situation in which there are positive findings and negative findings, there are no clear findings and thus no support for either side as a be-all-end-all. What we've got, instead, is this very argument with the bonus of Science! behind it. That is why it is still legal in the four countries I mentioned.

Why should we use it? Because, at the time, it works. Not in every single case, obviously, some children simply won't respond to it. But then why shouldn't we use it if others do?

 

[AndyFromMonday]

Not necessarily. Though I preferred it to other forms of discipline, it still wasn't a pleasant experience. It should be reserved for children under the age of 10 in my opinion. Children tend to be inherently irrational and incapable of understanding the consequences of their actions, so a physical form of discipline is necessary.

I disagree. If my father can do it with 4 different children then so can other parents. To me, spanking is an alternative for parents who are unable to actually be parents. Instead of taking the hard way to disciplining their child they'll just choose the easy way out.

The problem with your analogy is one of severity. Cutting and burning your child is far beyond smacking him on the ass a few times.

How so? Advocates of spanking say that if it's done right then it can be a good tool to discipline your child. I'm making the same argument.

Cuts and burns leave scars and can hurt for days, a smack lasts about 5 minutes, as a result they would be much more traumatic for the child. I know what you're trying to say but I can never agree. I'm sure you'll say the same about spanking though so I guess we've hit a dead end.

If you do it right then those consquences can be avoided, just like you can avoid bruising and wounds on the butt of a child when using spanking.

snip

If done right then the consquences would be the same as spanking.

That's what I mean by no data, apologies for not being clearer. If we have a 50/50 situation in which there are positive findings and negative findings, there are no clear findings and thus no support for either side as a be-all-end-all. What we've got, instead, is this very argument with the bonus of Science! behind it. That is why it is still legal in the four countries I mentioned.

Why should we use it? Because, at the time, it works. Not in every single case, obviously, some children simply won't respond to it. But then why shouldn't we use it if others do?

Because there are better alternatives. Because violence only encourages violence. Because children are not animals. You can end up in jail for hitting your dog and yet you won't end up in jail for hitting your child.

 

[fezzthemonk]

The threat of a spanking was much more dreadful than my parents just getting upset with me. The memory of the pain is enough to make you think twice about doing something your parents wouldn't approve of.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Yes. Pain was the only punishment that got through to me. Without it, I would be my brother, who was not beaten. He is not exactly the best individual.

You all had it easy, I got the belt.

shoot i had every household item you could possibly think of, i was catapulted down the stairs one time from my mom using the broom as a golf club (i was running away because i knew it was coming lol) (the belt by far was one of the worse though, one time my dad used a hat and it had a metal part on the back, holy piss that hurt)


OT: i was a fucking brat with no common sense at all, (my parents tried and tried to install it, but my shit didn't want to run windows 98) and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that i am a better person today because of them givin me an ass whooping when needed.

now overall, not EVERY kid needs it, every kid is different, however in the majority of cases, a good fucking whoopin is needed sometimes, and unfortunately my parents weren't even half as harsh on my next youngest brother, and compared to the other 2 he is a smartass brat who gets away with everything, so im glad they gave me the whoopin i needed.

 

[mireko]

I wasn't, but I don't think it would've changed much. Getting scolded had pretty much the same effect for me.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

snip.

the same cannot be said for every child, just because you were raised that way does not make it inherently right. i know tons and tons of friends who grew up just fine who weren't beat, but at the same time i could turn around point out tons of them who ended up going down the drain because they basically got away with anything they wanted with no fear of having anything happen. would you not agree that everyone is born into being a different independent human being? so would you not agree that everyone has to grow up a bit differently?

p.s. i have seen some parents who use spanking in the complete wrong manner, they do it out of anger and frustration, which they should be using it as a lesson and they should reason with the child to make them understand why that happened.

 

[Stasisesque]

That's what I mean by no data, apologies for not being clearer. If we have a 50/50 situation in which there are positive findings and negative findings, there are no clear findings and thus no support for either side as a be-all-end-all. What we've got, instead, is this very argument with the bonus of Science! behind it. That is why it is still legal in the four countries I mentioned.

Why should we use it? Because, at the time, it works. Not in every single case, obviously, some children simply won't respond to it. But then why shouldn't we use it if others do?

Because there are better alternatives. Because violence only encourages violence. Because children are not animals. You can end up in jail for hitting your dog and yet you won't end up in jail for hitting your child.

So why aren't we (all of us who were spanked as children) violent individuals? I know I'm certainly not, I've never hit anyone in my life. I rarely lose my temper, and when I do, I merely retreat until I'm calm again. It's certainly not encouraged violence in me - I don't even like action films.

How can this be?

 

[El Poncho]

No. I wasn't spanked as a kid and I've turned out fine.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

If done right then the consquences would be the same as spanking.

It's clear that no amount of reasoning or dumbing down will get through to you, so I'm just going to stop.

Because there are better alternatives. Because violence only encourages violence. Because children are not animals. You can end up in jail for hitting your dog and yet you won't end up in jail for hitting your child.

Really? Because last time I checked human beings were very much animals. Our parents raise us the same way in which a ***** raises her pup. I'm sorry if this is a view you don't quite agree with, but its not one open for debate. Human beings are animals, if not more so than domesticated pets are.

But I digress. Children have to be taught. It is up to the parent how to teach them. What methods they employ are quite frankly not the business of others. As evident in this thread it works for some but not for others. Now we can continue to argue the toss or we can just agree to disagree and move on.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Problem is, 10 years later, I feel like that again, and have been for the past 2-3 years, just no pimples...

It starts at Puberty. It only goes away when you flush it away. These days though, it's something that you "NEED TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT!", which I think is far more toxic.

Dump the problems, start living.

 

[Lucifron]

Truly, a parent must be either extremely lazy, stupidly conservative, or of an inferior mind if he/she must ever resort to spanking or beating. A single slap can be justifiable in certain cases, but spanking? Whatever you say, Cletus.

 

[ace_of_something]

I and all my brothers were spanked.
However, I think most of us (except the 4th in birth order) could count the number of times we were spanked on one hand.
It was the most extreme of punishments reserved for occasions like when I kinda sorta left a gate open and a cow wandered onto a road where it was hit by a truck.
(The driver was fine. The cow and truck not s'much)
Are we better people?
Well 4 out of 6 us are cops/detectives, one is a chef and the other is a rancher.

So yes? Would we have turned out the same without spanking? Well since it was so infrequent I'm going to say it'd probably be pretty similar.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

he same cannot be said for every child, just because you were raised that way does not make it inherently right.

I wasn't the only one raised that way. So were my cousins. And getting away with everything? Do you think that's what it means to not be spanked or grounded? I've never had a tantrum in my entire life whilst I was with my father and neither did my cousins. In fact, our respect for him was what led us to behave the way we did. We respected him for being the kind and loving person he was. He managed to use reason to keep us in line and if he could do that with kids aged 7 to 16 then I'm fairly sure everyone can. He took the hard way and he earned our respect and for that I rarely stepped out of line and the same applies to my cousins. We didn't fear getting spanked or getting grounded. We feared disappointing him. And I suppose that's part of the reason we were who we were.

Spanking is always used out of anger and frustration. You're angry because you can't keep your child in line and you're frustrated because they don't listen to you.

 

[Jonci]

Both my sister and I were spanked. I was a model child and she was a criminal before she was even 18. I don't think spanking us had any effect on the behaviors we developed later in life. Of course I usually didn't know what I was being spanked for, so that could have had a negative impact on the act. Can't learn if you don't know what you were being punished for.

 

[pigmypython]

I was and I'm just great! I fully plan on spanking my kids when I have them. Keep in mind I will adjust the punishment for each kid. Some don't mind a good lickin' while others start to cry if you look at them funny.

 

[sulld1]

Yes it worked, i would have been a little arse if i hadn't been kept in line and frankly in my opinion the only way to keep a child in line is for there to be some kind of force, i haven't turned out perfectly but i have turned out a lot better than i believe i would have done without the punishment....