Poll: Is being shy bad?

Recommended Videos

Neurotic Void Melody

Bound to escape
Legacy
Jul 15, 2013
4,953
6
13
If you're a noisy arrogant twat-muffin in love with their own gas expulsions or an aggressive, over-bearing often into violent acts towards your fellow easy-going earthlings, then yes...shyness is very good for you; practice makes perfect, learned one...keep trying!

In most other cases I'd say no though if you prefer to have a healthier social life amongst other benefits.
 

Addendum_Forthcoming

Queen of the Edit
Feb 4, 2009
3,646
0
0
Ezekiel said:
Well, think about it. Shyness is fear. Fear from strangers. Why would a shy person be afraid of someone they know well?

It could also be that you're not interesting to them.
Introverted or quiet doesn't mean shy, however. Some people are just naturally laconic. Some people are contemplative, utterly uninvested, or as you say ... people are just not listening when they do speak which leads them to be uninvested in communication.

Honestly, some people are just 'listeners'. They don't mind people, but prefer instead to simply observe. I get it, personally. I mean if people are opening up about themselves freely, who am I to stop them potentially spilling dirt when it costs me none in reciprocation? That seems like a longshot in an intimate relationship. It sounds creepy, in all truthfulness.

Though if you've been living with someone for 6 months and you know nothing about them, then you're probably doing something incredibly wrong, or your life is somehow so incredibly exciting and constantly wondrous. But I doubt it...
 

Pyrian

Hat Man
Legacy
Jul 8, 2011
1,399
8
13
San Diego, CA
Country
US
Gender
Male
Addendum_Forthcoming said:
...it's an obstacle ...not a curse.
Yeah. ...Did anybody say otherwise?

Addendum_Forthcoming said:
...I've seen people black bagged for being a little too extroverted.
I've known people whose extroversion creates problems for them. People who absolutely must carpool to work because being alone for the duration of a car ride is unimaginable torture. Don't ask about how they go to the bathroom. They still seem to be better off than those with crippling shyness, though.
 

The Rogue Wolf

Stealthy Carnivore
Legacy
Nov 25, 2007
18,346
11,419
118
Stalking the Digital Tundra
Gender
✅
Anyone who isn't going out trying to make thirty new friends per day is probably a budding terrorist and should be locked up.

(I kid, I kid. I don't have shyness; I just hate dealing with people because people are imbeciles.)
 

Kae

That which exists in the absence of space.
Legacy
Nov 27, 2009
5,791
712
118
Country
The Dreamlands
Gender
Lose 1d20 sanity points.
Probably, I mean it caused me a lot of problems, but then again I was very much antisocial and aggressive on top of being shy, and I mean I'm still shy but it's not that much of a problem anymore as dealing with people now feels more like a nuisance now, instead of being incredibly stressful, I mean I remember when I fist started working, dealing with people was so stressful that I used to cry before sleeping because I felt really awful and now it's just annoying and people think I'm an ass, but that's fine.

I mean people that know me know I'm a bit of an asshole but I'm also the kind of person that goes out of their way to help anyone even if I show a terrible attitude when I do it, though that does sometimes land me in terrible situations such as the time I almost involuntarily had sex with a taxi driver because he was lonely and I didn't get that meant sex, but sometimes I manage to do good such as the time I coordinated a bunch of people to extinguish a fire, it's interesting in a situation of crisis people truly become sheep and if someone panics they'll panic but if someone starts helping they'll help too, and most surprised if someone starts issuing orders they'll follow them blindly, like imitating the actions of someone I get but the fact that they follow orders is surprising.
 

Gergar12_v1legacy

New member
Aug 17, 2012
313
0
0
Being explicitly introvert is a death sentence business-wise for multiple industries in the US. Try getting a job, not in the video game industry, and telling your interviewer that you're an introvert.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
15,485
0
0
I can't really speak with broad strokes on this. There are times in which it would be an inhibition. However, it's ultimately likely that someone can tell me some good instances that I just don't personally know.
 

Cold Shiny

New member
May 10, 2015
297
0
0
No, it's hot.



I'm kidding, sexually dead people like me don't recognize traits as attractive or unattractive.
 

BadNewDingus

New member
Sep 3, 2014
141
0
0
From my experience, it's bad. I was shy throughout all of High School and part of my adult life. I'm not pretty, so being shy puts the whole creepy label on me. It's also a terrible process to break from, as I've become the creepy guy to the weirdo who talks too much.
 

WhiteFangofWhoa

New member
Jan 11, 2008
2,547
0
0
If it is, I'm a very bad boy.

It's not wrong, but it certainly makes finding friends harder. Looking back at my school years, I really wish I'd been more outgoing, even at the risk of being thought stupid.
 
Mar 26, 2008
3,428
0
0
Nope, it's not bad. It can be quite a big stumbling block when you are shy and you want to meet new people, but if anything it can facilitate some serious character building. Take it from someone who was shy as a kid / teen.

Sometime I wish I had of been less shy as a kid, but then I probably would have been the arsehole I was in my 20's when all the limitations came off. I think I found the sweet spot in my 30's.
 

maninahat

New member
Nov 8, 2007
4,397
0
0
Shyness puts you at a tremendous disadvantage to be shy in society where confidence and outgoing natures are seen as supreme. It also potentially makes you quite resentful because it makes you feel like same society targets you for being shy.

Case in point, I'm a very shy, passive person at work and it tends to result in my needs being neglected and me getting to have to pick up a lot of people's work, because I'm the only one not loudly complaining about having work. I instinctively feel resentful that people don't notice the discrepancy, but I recognise that it is as much my fault for not speaking out as it is them not noticing I'm there.
 

Jarrito3002

Elite Member
Jun 28, 2016
594
495
68
Country
United States
Of course socially it is, people see you as a walking shoot spree or whatever in an instance. I would even say it would be worse for shy guys as the expectation of confidence and outgoing are damn near ubermench levels.

Me personally I had some issues but I think I found the a good enough act and decorum to make things easier and then enjoy me some solitude.
 

Jarrito3002

Elite Member
Jun 28, 2016
594
495
68
Country
United States
Pyrian said:
Jarrito3001 said:
Of socially it is people see you as a walking shoot spree or whatever in an instance.
...Um, what?
Left out a word in there "course". Lots of hypebole but I do remember in high school and in most media the quiet unassuming person in the corner is either one bad day away of breaking and going nuts. Two sides to how people see shy. A you will never get nothing in life and you deserve it or B You are pariah and will lash out in the worst way. Again speaking in extremes for point but yeah shy is bad.
 

Jeremy Comans

New member
Nov 28, 2014
20
0
0
It really is a matter of degree. Shyness is generally underlined by a fear of judgement by others, which inhibits social interaction in the person who is shy.

If by 'shy' you mean crippled by social anxiety and find it difficult or scary to talk to people, then yes, it is very bad and you should see a councillor to help you overcome that fear. If by 'shy' you mean you are a reserved person who would rather be on the periphery of a social situation, but are otherwise comfortable and can still meet people, then no it is not a real problem if you are still maintaining relationships without causing yourself grief.

It is going to depend where on the scale one fits whether being shy is an acceptable part of their personality or whether it is inhibiting them from being who they want to be, or otherwise causing themselves and their relationships damage. Generally, it is more than likely to be at least somewhat unhealthy.

Also, because of what some people have incorrectly said; shy and introverted are not the same thing. An introverted person will find socialising tiring, and need plenty of time alone (I'll 'hibernate' for at least a week or more after a weekend away with friends). An introvert also typically prefers maintaining a very small, but intimate friendship group, with limited time spent with lesser friends or acquaintances. That does not mean that when they do socialise they will be shy (they can be very open with strangers, noisy, like parties and attention), only that they tend to be careful how they expend their limited time/energy for social interaction. You can be a shy extrovert.
 

gsilver

Regular Member
Apr 21, 2010
381
4
13
Country
USA
Being shy actively hurts me in the workplace. Other people are able to offer up better opinions, more quickly, and with less reservations. They're also able to better immediately process incoming information and immediately respond.

Most of the time, I just want to get back to my desk and coding, and just think things through on my own. When I do need feedback, it usually leaves me feeling like I'm interrupting them, since I either wasn't ready or wasn't able to speak up in a meeting.
It sucks.

And as for its affects on my social life... Well... I don't really have any.
I'm much too tired to expend even more energy "getting out there" in a crowded and judgemental world when I'm already exhausted just trying to get through a work day.


It's just kind of humbling to grow up as an "introverted computer nerd" and then work all day with other "introverted computer nerds" all of whom are vastly more well adjusted than I am.
 

CrimsonBlaze

New member
Aug 29, 2011
2,252
0
0
Many people tend to quickly categorize me as an introvert, especially when they compare me to one of my siblings who is an extrovert on steroids.

I am actually quite outgoing, but in larger crowds, or people I'm generally not familiar with, I tend to keep to myself until I can join in a conversation that I can contribute to instead of just nodding and agreeing without any discernible reason.

On a one-on-one basis, I'm actually quite chatty, and as I join larger groups, my shyness tends to slip away. So I typically attribute "shyness" to patience when in unfamiliar surroundings.