Poll: Is it wrong to automatically assume some is heterosexual?

[Verlander]

I don't see why you're assuming in the first place. Surely it's not a consideration, unless you have a sexual interest in them? It's not wrong, but depends on situation. You walk into a gay bar looking for straight love, then it's rude, stupid, and pretty arrogant, but not morally "wrong" as such.

 

[Illesdan]

I see this road as going BOTH ways, just because of personal experience. At my first job, most of the people I worked with assumed I was a lesbian. I didn't care what they assumed; I'm just glad they never tried to set me up with a girl (yes, the people I used to work with were busybodies). I treat people like that; people. I've been hit on by both sexes, and even though I don't go THAT way; its still flattering.

 

[Nimcha]

There was a time in my early childhood when I assumed almost everyone was homosexual, even though I didn't know that word yet or what it implied. Made for a very confusing period when the other girls eventually started to not consider boys 'icky' anymore.

Anyway no, it's not wrong. The vast majority of people I meet assume I'm straight, that's fine. And most of them never find out that that's not true anyway.

 

[Drummah]

No, it's fine to assume.
Just don't be a dick about it.

I was at a party 2 days ago, (ratio homo to hetero was 5:1) and made a very snide "Psh, You like the dick anyway" (or something like that)

...and practically the entire party turned on me saying that was assuming--they're right.


Normally I just politely assume--let them correct you if you're on the wrong track (or not if they're still in). Some people (like me) aren't out at the workplace where it's completely populated by "fag-word"-using catholics, and I just let them flap/assume that when I say I went on a date it was with a man.


(The homo has spoken.)

 

[GeorgW]

No, it's a large majority. I try not to assume, but it's unavoidable to do it subconsiously.

Just be conscious about it then
It is totally avoidable. As a kid I used to say 'gay' to mean bad like 'this homeworks so gay' or whatever, but as soon as I realised I was subconsciously rejecting the gay minority, I stopped doing it.

I've never done anything like that and what about my post made you think so? What I meant with my post was that when I meet a new person, I don't assume they're hetero. But I do assume that most people are, and is a little more surprised if I learn someone is gay than if they are straight.

 

[sam42ification]

it's not wrong because being gay is kind of a new thing to be honest. People only really started coming out in the 70s and the human race takes a long time to addapt. We are still not used to the fact that the gay population is rising.

Lol Oscar Wilde? ever heard of that guy? No? Nevermind....

I have heard of him he was a gay man and strong inforcer of fashion in around the 1890s but remember he was put into jail and died at an age of 46.

Put in jail for what? Being gay and open about it. There's nothing new about homosexuality. Many rulers throughout history have had a preference for men; the only recent thing is its acceptance. Ostensible as it is.

Thats what i meant by a new thing. It has only recently been accepted. Yes he was put into jail for being gay and i think he was in there for six years (could be wrong) then he died in jail. Not sure how.

 

[Saelune]

It is not really wrong. What is wrong is when you wont accept anything else. Same with any judgement. Its not wrong to judge, its wrong to be stubborn about them.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Nope, assuming someone is a member of the majority is just simple statistics.

 

[GeorgW]

I've never done anything like that and what about my post made you think so? What I meant with my post was that when I meet a new person, I don't assume they're hetero. But I do assume that most people are, and is a little more surprised if I learn someone is gay than if they are straight.

Just pointing out that hetero only thinking can have unintentional negative effects and saying it's easy to avoid.

...and that's why I avoid it. Again, what about my post has made you think I don't? I have 2 gay friends, and I've never looked at them differently after they told me.

 

[staleBread]

NO, it isn't wrong.
Seriously, there is being tolerant and there is being a stupid, political correctness obsessed shithead.

Basically this.

You would probably offend more people by asking everyone you met. Plus, how can you assume everyone would even tell you the truth.

 

[Harbinger_]

Is it wrong to automatically assume someone is heterosexual?

Generally where I'm from, it is normal to assume someone is hetro until proven otherwise. Is it that everywhere? Are these stigmas of "Everyone is hetro until proven otherwise" ignorant? I don't really feel ignorant, that's just sorta the way it is here. Additionally the homosexuals and other persuasions out there don't take offense to automatically believe someone is hetro until they tell you. I just want to see how it is in places outside of where I live.

So escapists, comments, thoughts? I would really like to know.

Straight people seem to outnumber people of non-straight persuasions. It's understandable and usually pretty quickly forgiven if a mistake is made.

 

[ZephrC]

Depends on what you mean by assume, I guess. Mostly there seems to be no harm in it as long as you don't act on those assumptions in any serious kind of way without some evidence to back it up, but the real question is why you're so worried about who everyone you meet wants to have sex with?

 

[Vryyk]

No, it's the social norm so why wouldn't someone assume that?

As a bisexual male....I kinda got to agree with this. Strait is the majority.

Makes deciding who to flirt with a pain in the ass.

Just do what I do, flirt with everything regardless of it's/your sexual orientation. Everything.

 

[Therumancer]

Is it wrong to automatically assume someone is heterosexual?

Generally where I'm from, it is normal to assume someone is hetro until proven otherwise. Is it that everywhere? Are these stigmas of "Everyone is hetro until proven otherwise" ignorant? I don't really feel ignorant, that's just sorta the way it is here. Additionally the homosexuals and other persuasions out there don't take offense to automatically believe someone is hetro until they tell you. I just want to see how it is in places outside of where I live.

So escapists, comments, thoughts? I would really like to know.

No, homosexuals are a tiny minority of the population despite what some people might want to think. Someone being "straight" is not an unfair assumption.

To be honest trying to adjust default behaviors to accomodate small groups of people "just in case" usually does more harm than good, and it's a part of why so many view political correctness negatively.

 

[GeorgW]

...and that's why I avoid it. Again, what about my post has made you think I don't? I have 2 gay friends, and I've never looked at them differently after they told me.

I never said you were some kind of dickhead, just ^ read above. It's not about hating gay/bi people, it's about ignoring their existence. (And you can replace gay/bi with non-white, with poor, provincial, jewish, whatever)

Again, if I have 2 gay friends, how am I ignoring their existance?

 

[tharglet]

I don't find anything wrong in it. I don't usually think about someone's sexuality until there's a relevant conversation about it (e.g. someone in IRC talking about their boy/girlfriend, I'll assume they're the other gender if I don't know otherwise).

If someone gets annoyed about the assumption, and doesn't even try to correct the person before raging out, I don't like that. A lot of people assume I'm male on the internet (your average person who's a gamer and a programmer is male), and I don't get mad about it - I say I'm a she (or whatever) and the situation fixes itself. No harm done

 

[Kargathia]

Meh, if I'm not trying to hit on them then what does it matter?

And if I am the divider "interested/not interested" is quite a bit more important than "straight/gay", as it encompasses it anyhow.

 

[Flatfrog]

I'm going to go against the majority here: yes, it's wrong to make that assumption in any circumstances where you would actually need to.

What I mean by that is: when I meet someone, their sexuality is usually completely irrelevant to my interaction with them. I'm not 'assuming' they're straight (although obviously if called on to make a guess, I'd guess that they were, since that's the most likely option), I'm making no judgement on the subject one way or the other.

At the moment when the question becomes relevant (eg, when asking if someone has a partner), I think it is a little bit rude to assume they are straight, and it's better to word the question in such a way that it doesn't prejudice the issue either way. So 'are you in a relationship?' is a better question than 'do you have a girlfriend?'. Not that I think anyone would be offended either way (I did say 'a little bit'!), but it's good training, a reminder to yourself that yes, statistically there is a more probable answer, but it's not the only possible answer.

It's the same argument as saying that, if you're talking about a generic nurse, it's good practice to say 'they' rather than 'she' until you know for sure, even if 95% of nurses are women (or whatever the actual figure is).

 

[sam42ification]

Put in jail for what? Being gay and open about it. There's nothing new about homosexuality. Many rulers throughout history have had a preference for men; the only recent thing is its acceptance. Ostensible as it is.

Thats what i meant by a new thing. It has only recently been accepted. Yes he was put into jail for being gay and i think he was in there for six years (could be wrong) then he died in jail. Not sure how.

Right, and a world in which being gay is viewed as some kind of abnormality (which is unfortunately common) is only possible with a hetero-normative worldview; like 'people are straight and to treat everyone like they are straight is fine because it's statistically more common. Anyone who is gay/bi is awkward and should just deal with it.'

That kind of what i said in my first comment. That it is normal just to asume that. What i also said is that in the future it shouldn't be like that. "Anyone who is gay/bi is awkward and should just deal with"???? Thats just being a dick.

 

[Asuka Soryu]

I assume nothing. I don't think of anyones sexuality when I see them/talk to them unless they're actually flaunting it.