Your concern is kind, though let me assure you this is not the case. Perhaps if I was a bit more eloquent with what I was trying to say.AquaAscension said:
Let's take a husband wife scenario. The wife finds out her mother is very ill, perhaps even going to die. Normally, in the past, she would confide these feelings to her husband. They would talk, discuss things, and work them out together. Now though, she feels like it is easier for her to talk to her internet friend. He understands her better, he can soothe her better. So instead of going to her husband to get this comfort, she goes to the internet friend. The husband in the meantime never knows about these troubles, and spends more and more time in the dark with regards to his wife's feelings.
I think that is a kind of emotional detachment that, yes, is a kind of cheating. It's a difficult concept to describe, but I think a lot of long term marriages break up from this type of emotional cheating. Sex is not the cornerstone of a long term relationship, strong communication is. If you suddenly choose to communicate all your intimate feelings with someone else over your partner, you are depriving them of a part of your life that you would normally have shared with them. I've never fallen in love with someone because of great sex, it's the conversations we have and they way they react and support my feelings that is going to create that bond that really holds us together.
I'm not saying you can't have friends that you tell things too. Most people have that and there is nothing wrong with it. What I'm saying is, if you choose to have these intimate conversations with someone other than your partner, that is at the very least a strong warning sign that things are going south rather quickly.
Obviously none of this matters if both members of the relationship have had a discussion about what is or is not okay with them. Everyone draws certain lines in a relationship that they have decided can't be crossed. That stuff gets hashed out in the beginning, or at least, it really should. I think it would save people a lot of pain later in life. Some women don't want porn in their house. Some women don't care if you see a prostitute every now and then. Some men might be okay with an open relationship. Some men might be okay with you having a WoW husband. People are very different, and I don't think every relationship has the same kind of cheating as every other relationship.
Personally, I think there are more issues here then can be answered with a single statement.SirDoom said:
Simple answer: Yes, it is cheating if she isn't okay with it. No, it isn't cheating if she is okay with it. If you are uncomfortable with the boundaries your partner sets upon you regarding what does and does not constitute cheating, you should find another partner.
However, let me put this another way. If I were incapable of being intimate with my significant other, let's say because of some traumatic experience in this case, I would certainly not expect them to go without. I would prefer them to find a professional service, that way emotional attachment to their surrogate sexual partner would be unlikely. I say this because I suspect for someone incapable of being sexual, the friendship is far more important than the sex. I wouldn't know for sure, not being in that situation.
I have no idea if you really wanted to get an answer, or if you were just implying my logic was ridiculous. Reading such things into text on the screen is difficult. But in the spirit of serious discussion, I will say you haven't given enough information for me to give a very detailed answer other than those above.
