Poll: Jedi vs anyone else?

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TorchLighter

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Jan 17, 2008
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Calmly, I would like to point out that, yet again, you miss the easy solution.

yes, a force barriar could probably stop explosives, bullets, and anything travelling fast enough to do harm, while still being vaugly portable.

I also concede that unless you put them in a situation where they can't dodge, then this probably won't work either.

BUT, a rail cannon uses magnetic forces (you know, the forces that hold the atmosphere of the Earth together) to launch large, heavy pieces of metal (NB: No explosives) at targets that generally start on the modest scale of "Entire cities".

Magneto wouldn't be able to stop it, and his entire power is controlling metal. This cannon fires 30 KG rounds (at the smallest), accelerating them to six time the speed of sound.
F = m(30 KG)* acc (in metres per second, something like 300 m/s*6, or 1800)
this thing kills tanks, not by destroying it, but by putting a hole in the armor, and letting explosive decompression do the rest. you have a totally undamaged tank, and a pile of what me might call 'body soup' in a line away from it.
 

TomNook

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Feb 21, 2008
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obigandan said:
Jedi vs that big thing from Fantastic 4 that eats galaxies..
His name is Galactus and he eats planets. You people are terrible nerds.
 

llafnwod

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Nov 9, 2007
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HK-47:
"Select grenades, sonic screamers, cluster rockets, and plasma charges. Mines are also effective, since many Jedi will run to meet you in hand to hand combat. Silly Jedi."

Or Nihilus. Or sufficient quantities of troopers. Post-OT Jedi are pretty flimsy.
 

Miscellaneous

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Apr 5, 2008
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here is a short list of characters and other things i beleive could resonably defeat or kill a master Jedi in battle, but unlike the other guy's list, I'm posting WHY :O

1) Kirby (the kirby series)

While Jedi can easily block physical objects, as far as i know they are not resistant to wind and have no effect on it, thus can be inhaled and swallowed (hello Jedi Kirby), force crush and any amount of bodily disfigurement will not work on kirby, this negates the "hold him up in the air and crush him" method (also note that like someone earlier said, it has never been known for a jedi of any power to use force and fight at the same time, so no 'hold in the air and stab' either) only the lightsaber and possibly Force Lightning could actually cause harm to him (as far as i know, excuse me if i am not a walking dictionary of force powers). while kirby admittedly wont win hands down every time, he would have many more victories than losses.


2) Doctor Who (doctor who)

Reasons have already been explained by others


3) Sonic, maybe (the sonic series)

I'm probably falling into the trap of 'i like him so he'll win' but regardless of precognition its nearly impossible to react to something that can travel at the speed of sound, and with chaos emeralds, the speed of light, with super emeralds(play sonic 3&knuckles), exceeding it, with the master emerald. limitless power, oh well. (also note, he's absolutely invincible as super sonic and beyond, despite what happens in the games when you're crushed; that was just so you can't run around inside the walls)


4) Replicators (stargate)

think about the name. also, the just keep coming back from the 'dead', force lightning is ineffective, force push, blasters, physical dismemberment and disfigurement, mind tricks, telekinesis(can only be done on one or two things at a time, sorry =/) all do not work. With all of his tricks useless, he's doomed from the start. Although i'm not sure if this is cheating in the 1 vs 1 department.


5) Xavier (xmen)

Smarter than the jedi, and does not have to do or dodge anything if he can get in their heads and make them kill themselves.


6) Phoenix/Dark Phoenix (xmen)

de-atomizes everything. win.


7) Lyta Alexander (Babylon 5, notice i capitalized that one)

Massive telikinetic and telepathic powers, can read the jedi's every move, every intended move and react long beforehand, can make them kill themselves, can cause their brains to implode, can close up arteries and airways inside the jedi, and an assortment of other very nasty ways of killing are at her disposal.


8) a Level Designer (life)

just a little joke i thought of, obviously would only work on the game ones. just use your imagination =)


9) Ganondorf (Legend of Zelda series)

holds the triforce of power, which means he holds more power than anyone or anything else that exists, and force is a power. Can't be hurt by anything other than light arrows, the master sword, and his own projectiles. cannot be killed, at most sealed.


10) any God of Death (most books, games, films and anime have one.)

obvious.


11) Ness, Lucas, etc. anyone PSI powered (Mother series)

Jedi can't stop other people's telekinesis, and Ness and Lucas are better at it than them.


12) the last boss from Ikaruga (ikaruga)

If you don't know what it is go find out(google video will probably help) imagine trying to beat that, on foot, while susceptible to both white and black bullets at all times. Also, with no means of killing it...


13) Pokey/Porky (mother series)

He has a time machine, he'd stop the Jedi from ever having existed (dunno why he never did that in the mother games, but oh well)


14) Master Hand and Crazy Hand (kirby and smash bros. series')

Have you ever noticed they never actually die? If one gets weak the other gets stronger(because they are representations of opposite things) the worst that can happen is what Tabuu did(no spoiler yay). (I'm not putting Tabuu in, so far as i know he can die, pretty easily at that)


15) Ultimecia (FF VII)

Came close to fusing all of time together, you can't have that amount of power and lose to a silly little master Jedi(yes she lost to squall, but they couldn't exactly make an impossible game could they?).


16) Super Paper Mario (super paper mario)

He just flips them into 2D, which they are completely unused to, upon which time he has a ridiculous advantage. (I'm fairly sure the Jedi will be slightly distracted by this too :p)


17) The Flood (halo series)

It starts as just one, but even if it dies the spores will spread...
As stated in the games, the only way to kill them is to kill everything of sufficient biomass to sustain them (starve them by killing all possible food sources everywhere, in other words), which would mean he'd have to kill himself and everyone else in the galaxy. Flood win every time no matter what happens.


18) Link (Legend of Zelda series)

also known as the Hero of Time. yeah, I'm beginning to see a slight weakness for Jedi here, although i suppose it isn't exclusive to Jedi.


19) the Bridge of Death (monty python and the holy grail)

If you've seen it, you'll get me. If not type 'monty python bridge of death' into google videos, or something similar. From what I've seen it will win 1 in every 2 'fights'


hmm, 20 seems like a nice round number to finish on, okay, gonna have to think of a really really good one...


20) Time itself (everything)

Time beats everything, every time, no matter the circumstances, no person, thing, or any other possibility of something that exists can withstand or defeat it. EVERYTHING ends with time.
 

Pittzi

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Dec 23, 2007
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It pains me that you've all forgotten one particular man. A Czarnian in fact. You know him as "he who devours your entrails and thoroughly enjoys it." The Main Man. The Big Bastisch. Lobo. Could take on most Jedi I'd say. Bit difficult to hide from him as well.
 

implodingMan

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Apr 9, 2008
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Jack from Bioshock would pwn those jedi noobs, then crack their heads open and absorb their DNA after he kills them.
 

aussiesniper

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Mar 20, 2008
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1. jedi vs the laws of physics

is the laws of physics were somehow given consciousness, they would subsequently be able to pwn the living crap out of anything/jedi that crossed their path, because they could:

i)destroy all molecular bonds in the jedi
ii)lower the flashpoint of his clothing, hair etc. so that he would burn for no apparent reason
iii)temporarily make everything that he is wearing turn into caesium, thus killing him by removing all water from his body/burning him/giving him radiation poisoning.
iv)crush him underneath the weight of his own scalp/hair/shirt etc.
v)make all of the ions that make up the most important parts of a nerve axon switch position permanently, thus paralysing him.
vi)make him go faster than the speed of light, forcing him to implode while going back in time... wait... would be a paradox?
vii)freeze him to death by removing all energy from the electron shells in the atoms that make up his body.
viii)making his entire body suddenly positively charged. static electricity wins!

2. jedi vs specific parts of science:

a)quantum theory:

if quantum theory was somehow controllable, then it could:
i)teleport random parts of him into random other parts of the universe
ii)bump all electrons in his body up to the next energy state, the resulting discharge then burning him and making him emit light

b)chemistry:

i)spontaneously making his entire body's atomic structure out of atoms that required a 6-electron outer shell, thus making him spontaneously break down into heretofore unknown compounds
ii)giving him massive chemical burns (obvious)

3. jedi vs Chuck Norris

it's Chuck Norris.

4. jedi vs the collective consciousness project

it altered the laws of physics and all human thought in a 30 square kilometer zone. what can beat that?

5. jedi vs human armed with railgun

quite simply, the sheer electromagnetic discharge from a railgun (the current DARPA experimental versions) would short out any electrical equipment the jedi is using, followed by a huge projectile (currently a 90mm steel slug) hitting and punching through anything that is in it's path. it's designed as a kinetic-energy penetrator for use against tanks, so it's not about to be stopped by any lightsber.

6. jedi vs slightly better jedi

simple, isn't it?

7. jedi vs the tsar bomb

only two tsar bombs (russian for "emperor bomb") were ever made. it was deemed the "tsar bomb" because it was the most powerful fusion bomb ever made.
 

noolli

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Feb 5, 2008
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i think that a jedi would have to fight some other sword fighter like that guy from no more heroes or Sephiroth. the latter of them would beet a jedi as he has jenova cells and a big ass sword as well as the ability to fly. but that would not be a very good fight as it would be over quickly. i think an awesome fight for a jedi would be the arbiter wielding an energy sword. if the most of the jedis were like the ones you have to fight in battlefront 2 then that would be an even fight.... arbiter vs jedi. and arbiter would win. i think byakuya would beat the crap out of a jedi.(guy from bleach btw)

If a flood spore captured a jedi would it have the force and ability to light saber fight
 

knumpify

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Feb 15, 2008
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anyone who's played a star wars game as a jedi knows, the best way to flick off a jedi is with that laser-sniper-ray-gun-type-thingy. you know, the one with the scope and massive dissintegration ability
 

Fire Daemon

Quoth the Daemon
Dec 18, 2007
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Jedi VS Hello Kitty

Now that would be fun to watch. In then end though Hello Kitty would come up on top as legally Jedi cannot kill good things but after looking at Hello Kitty for to long (like 5 seconds) then your head explodes. The Jedi will stare at the Hello Kitty trying to figure out if its ability to blow up people's brains whith pure cuteness is evil enough to allow its destruction and then BOOM.

No more jedi
 
Feb 14, 2008
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1) Jedi vs. The elders (Lovecrafts novels and shortstories)

I'll place my bet on Chuthlu (or however it's spelled)

2) Jedi vs. Titan (greek mythology)

Kronos would just eat him

3) Jedi vs. The reverse kabbalah

For those of you who havent read the 666 satan/O-parts hunter manga it consists of ten great demons listed here with their attributes/virtues:
1. Lucifer(Satan): Pure evil, immense power, stands for Atheism
2. Beelzebub: Regenerates using maggots, can create bubbles of air in wich he can control all movement, stands for Ignorance
3. Lucifuge: Has its own alternate universe in wich he dwells, anything he eats gets warped into that universe, stands for Disinclination
4. Astaroth: Has the abillity to make anything spontaneously burst into flames, has three heads, stands for Oblivion
5. Asmodeus: Has the abillity to change physical propertye of anything for short periods of time, can change the material too (eg. water into fire, rock into rubber etc.), stands for Cruelty
6. Belphegor: Not much of a fighter, can invent all kinds of stuff (weapons mostly), stands for Uglyness
7. Baal: HUEG moster with spikes and tentacles all over, can create illusions of erotic caracter to distract, constrain or kill opponents, stands for Lust
8. Adramelech: Again a huge monster similar to Baal, can rearrange molecules (like water) and can make anything pass through anything, stands for Avarice
9 Lillith: Master of hypnosis, Beautyful and seducting, stands for Chaos
10. Naamah: A giant whale (like in GIANT, eats bluewhales as a snack), stands for Materialism

4) Jedi vs. my imagination

Say hello to an infinite amount of immortal mosters

5) Jedi vs. Saurfang

CLEAVE!

6) Jedi vs. two rocket batteries

FshhFshhFshhFshhFshhFshhFshhFshh... BoomBoomBoomBoomBoomBoomBoomBoom... no more jedi

7) Jedi vs. Black hole

8) Jedi vs. Straw hat Ruffy(Luffy in some translations)

He's made from rubber... And he packs a punch capeable of crushing steel.

9) Jedi vs. 10 Droedica (or how it's spelled)

10) Jedi vs. any team of more than ten snipers with auto rifles

Edit:

11) Jedi vs. New sisterhood warrior (Dune universe by Frank Herbert)

200 of those bitches took over a planet

12) Jedi vs. The Sleeper Service (spaceship from Iain M. Banks' Exession)

190 km (or something) long, 100 km (or so) wide, 30 km in thickness, 80000 battleship armada (each capeable of obliterating planets at earth size.), max speed: 235000 times light speed.

13) Jedi vs. Zeus

14) Jedi vs. anything from surpreme commander larger than mech marine.

15) Jedi vs. Remover tool from garrysmod

unstoppable blue bolt that makes things not existing

16) Jedi vs. Son Goku (ultra or mega sayadin)

boom...

17) Jedi vs. Just about anything able to spew out 30000 semi armor peircing hi-xplosive rounds pr second.

18) Jedi vs. Sauron

wonder why this hasn't popped up yet

19) Jedi vs. Halo activation pulse

poof

20) Jedi vs. Hypernova

same as 19): poof
 

Spinwhiz

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Oct 8, 2007
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Nice to see people still putting in the creative effort. I wonder how the Jedi's are going to be in the new Soul Calibur game? With my first opinion...undefeatable :)
 

SADASS

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Apr 18, 2008
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Hmmm,
Zoids. Good match. as long as the zoid isn't melee-combat reliant. but if the jedi managed to some how evade the zoids barrage, it's quick light saber stab through the cockpit and it's over.

Arthur Dent (Hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy.. THE BOOKS) Aruthur can't die until he goes to stravo-mueller beta, so yeah. (explained in 2/3/4 book can't remeber exactly)

MingeBags for the win. "LOLZ DO U LIEK MEH GIANT SMOKSTAK COLLECTSHUN???" 'What collection?' "DIZ 1 LOLZROFL" *MingeBag -flying toilet'ed- Jedi*
 

Daved Lodfa

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Apr 18, 2008
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Well, think about it, if they couldn't be defeated, why aren't there just Jedi Masters running all over the place? Oh yeah, they got overwhelmed by clone troopers and SHOT. Even with their lightsabers, quantity beat quality big time.

Turning on a one-on-one basis though, Jedi do stand pretty high on the melee food chain.

- One hit kills/KOs
- Unlimited, and almost entirely invisible, "magic" attacks (you try and dodge Force Choke)
- Crazy enhanced acrobatics
- Mind manipulation

I don't think any one X-man could even come close to topping all that.
On the other hand, Jango Fett did hold off OB1 pretty good in their first spar, even if he did have a ship on his side.
 

Dah big bad wolf

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Aug 17, 2008
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MHD's number 12 choice is a beauty!
The Sleeper Service ( X: Quietly Confident!) could take on the entire Gedi Order, smash the Empire, Banish the Borge, confound the Founders Rumble the Romulans and bake the perfect Soufle.
And all before you could even blnk!
GSV Sleeper Service 1 ~ the Unverse ~ nil!