Poll: Jiggle Physics on Man Parts

[remnant_phoenix]

So I showed my wife the Dragon's Crown Sorceress gigantic boobage art and let her know about the debacle surrounding it.

We talked about it for a bit, but then we stumbled on the funniest conversation tangent I've had in a looooooong while. (pun intended)

If the developer really wants to go for a gonzo-anime version of Conan the Barbarian, why not make it equal? You know the dwarf character in Dragon's Crown? Notice how, despite the fact that he's an enormous person, you can't really see his package?

Here's my wife's idea: How about for every Sorceress-styled character you include a roided-up, beefcake warrior-dude stripped down to nothing but a banana-hammock? In addition, he should have a huge package. I'm talking SCARY huge. Like at least as big as one of the Sorceress's breasts huge. On top of that, what ever physics make the Sorceress's breasts bounce like they do should be applied to it. His junk should flop up and down as he runs and swing side to side as he twists his body in his attack animations. Just for good measure, give him a quick-pelvic-thrust-at-the-camera victory move to show off some extra-visible dong physics.

Personally, I would be completely accepting of this. If you're gonna go for a gonzo-anime objectified-sexualization "Conan the Barbarian" art style, you've gotta commit. Also, I find the idea absolutely hilarious.

P.S. This is the most homoerotic thing I've ever written.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

I remember Lucifer's wang from Dante's Inferno having some physics to it.
You know, that had to be somebody's job, giving it physics. Somebody had to sit there, and make the devils dick swing to-and-fro properly. And then a QA tester had to make sure it still swung proper during gameplay. And they got payed for it.
I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

 

[piinyouri]

So Oglaf in game form?

Also I don't think a banana hammock would be necessary.
A lot of male characters in fantasy are already designed in a way that is attractive to a particular [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_subculture] group of men.
All they need is some armor and a big weapon.

 

[The Lunatic]

If you're going to have comedic jiggle on lady parts, really not reason to end the comedy with the female gender.

 

[J Tyran]

Wouldn't bother me, well except for the devils giant dong in Dantes Inferno. The way it was waving all the place cracked me up so much I could hardly finish the game, kept expecting to have him do some kind of super move with it.

Voted: Sure why not?

 

[mbarker]

That's ridiculous, how would you be able to move and fight properly in a banana hamock with a huge bouncing shlong?

 

[Casual Shinji]

Don't roided-up beefcakes generally have very small testicles, cuz of the juice?

 

[SSJBlastoise]

I wouldn't be bothered by it but it really wouldn't be noticeable unless the creators made the man junk ridiculously huge. The reason I say you'd barely notice is because that area is kind of small (compared to breasts) and out of the way (a lot of conversation camera angles use the top half of the body).

Also, would there really be any visible jiggle, I mean, compare a girl with average sized breasts jumping up and down in a bra; that would be noticable, while a man jumping up and down in in a banana hammock wouldn't really show much. That kind of thing would be more noticeable if the dude was thrusting but thrusting isn't really a natural motion in games.

Wow, never thought I would go into this kind of thing before.

 

[Cazza]

That would be ridiculous...ly awesome. If I played such a game I probably won't stop laughing. You could also make a guy with Manboobs with jiggle physics as well.

 

[Jandau]

I remember Lucifer's wang from Dante's Inferno having some physics to it.
You know, that had to be somebody's job, giving it physics. Somebody had to sit there, and make the devils dick swing to-and-fro properly. And then a QA tester had to make sure it still swung proper during gameplay. And they got payed for it.
I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

Maybe they let their female or gay devs/testers have fun with that?

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

I remember the original Escape From Butcher Bay had this type of physics on the naked mutants in the sewers, only that the visible 'members' were removed and the entire issue was only mentioned in the commentary.

the animatronic 'bones' are still present on the character models although.

 

[Legion]

"I wouldn't care either way"

I am not a fan of jiggle physics in general, but I can't say it would bother me any more or less if they did it for male characters as well.

That's ridiculous, how would you be able to move and fight properly in a banana hamock with a huge bouncing shlong?

If it is large enough perhaps it could be a weapon itself.

Disturbing images ahoy.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

But wouldn't the banana hammock style underwear be more restrictive toward the floppiness of the guy's junk, therefore making the movement of it less exaggerated and...floppy? If you were to want to get maximum floppiness you'd have to go with something a bit more akin to boxer shorts (though that would create more coverage), or a loin cloth.

 

[Yuuki]

Firstly, there is nothing men have to "jiggle" on the same scale as female breasts that protrudes openly from their body (unless they're completely naked and have an erection, but then you're talking about a porno flick, not a video game). Basic biology.

Secondly, most women are actually turned OFF by nuclear-missile-sized packages because trying to imagine getting pounded by something that size will either rip you in half or leave you critically wounded. Not fun.

Thirdly, and this is me stepping way back and taking a look over the grand picture - the majority of the world is still in a mindset that a man is judged by his deeds while a woman is judged by her beauty. Feminine beauty has been one of the biggest "markets" throughout the history of mankind, as far back as the freaking caveman days...and today that market is bigger than ever - what you see in videogames is just a tiny portion of that market. Don't get me wrong, there is also a rising market for male handsomeness (that's where you'll find your "jiggle physics on man parts" lol)...but that market completely shrivels in comparison to the feminine beauty one, just take a look at most advertisements found in any facet of life.

I've been told that everyone loves to see a beautiful woman and/or her figure - including other women!. Now don't chuck rocks at me because I don't fully believe that, but it's what I've been told and it's what the world seems to be hinting at.
There is simply something "graceful" about the female figure, 'tis a work of art.

 

[Not Matt]

........does man parts jiggle? i mean we have one thing that sway but i have never seen it jiggle.

sorry for putting those images in your head by the way.

i think it is relatively fair. tough i always saw jiggle physics on a video game body as a way to make money from pre teens when the rest of the game suck so much nobody would want to buy it.

 

[Tygerml]

........does man parts jiggle? i mean we have one thing that sway but i have never seen it jiggle.

sorry for putting those images in your head by the way.

i think it is relatively fair. tough i always saw jiggle physics on a video game body as a way to make money from pre teens when the rest of the game suck so much nobody would want to buy it.

All they need to include is a tea-bagging taunt maneuver they can do over a defeated foe and it'll be Game of the Year.

 

[AjHedgehog]

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2013/04/24
I feel this is a relevant link here. But I can see where you are coming from (pun intended) I am not sure if it would really be a case of equality or just both sides losing, I don't think many people are really that interested in seeing 2d jiggle bombs but due to a vocal subset people have the impression that there is thousands of people just wanting to see aforementioned bombs swinging around in a way that could cause serious harm. Jimquisitions latest episode basically sums up my thoughts on the matter though

 

[FireAza]

I chose "sure why not" but you'd really have to take it to ridiculous extremes if you're having junk physics on a character that's fully clothed. Breasts sure, since they're larger than penises, are made mostly out of fat and have a lot more surface area to jiggle since they're round.

But, in order to exaggerate, you need to start from reality. And when in reality have you seen a fully-clothed dude's junk flopping around vs a fully-clothed woman's breasts bouncing around?

CAPTCHA = leaps and bounds

Yes CAPTCHA, that is the sort of motion that would cause jiggling.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

That would be ridiculous...ly awesome. If I played such a game I probably won't stop laughing. You could also make a guy with Manboobs with jiggle physics as well.

They already have. I give you SFIV's Rufus:


He's sexy. He keeps saying so.

 

[mad825]

Yes, your wife.

I don't think many girls could imagine what it's like to have something dangling in-between their legs. Testes are designed to absorb shock or movement to prevent them A) getting twisted - a catastrophic condition which cuts off the blood supply B) Falling off. Quite frankly, it would be an unsightly thing to see because of the pain that the character may be experiencing.

Breasts are just fat tissue with small glands inside to produce milk when the time comes, fat is known to be "wobbly". Sure, the girl might get a bad back because of the size but who doesn't have a bad back? Bad backs aren't as bad as people say.