Poll: jokes about Linsay Lohan

[cgride555]

Hello there gamers and gamisses. My name is G-ride and I am an ammeter comedian in Cincinnati Ohio. I suck for the most part, but every now and then 1% of the audience poops their pants laughing at me. Granted I only see about 20 people a night, thats still like .013% people laughing and like .000203% poop. I"LL TAKE .000203% POOP BECAUSE THATS MORE POOP THAN YOU"LL EVER SEE ON STAGE!!!!

So I've decided to take that poop and expand on it: I'm going to try this concept the wankers in England know as topical humor. "Oh the queen is rather ugly... yes quite". In this attempt I've written some jokes about an American drunken whore who goes by the name of Linsay Lohan and her journey to the penal system. I've written 10 jokes.

There not all .000203% poop-worthy, but I'd like to use some of them so I need some brutal honesty on your behalf. I trust this website because you all seem to hate everything including life itself, so please hate on my bad jokes so I will know not to use them. Feel free, as well, to comment on the jokes you find "not so bad" Here they are:

Lynsay Lohan top 10 jokes:


10.Rehab doesn't fix stupid

9. OH NO! Now who will I not give a fuck about?

8. way to give lesbians everywhere a bad name

7. Linsay Lohan sucks. They can't all be winners guys.....

6.I heard she threatened to kill herself. Please LInsay.... take Sarah Palin with you. That alone would guarantee you a spot in heaven!

5.MADD (Mother's Against Drunk Driving) has formed a coalition with MALL- Mothers Against Linsay Lohan

4.She went from jailbait to jail date

3. She's got so many DUI's they just pull her over for being sober now

2.She was in The Parent Trap, now she's got the apparent clap. Linsay Lohan has gonorrhea. her respect level is gone.. orrhea

1.looks like Herbie wasn't the only one that was fully loaded


I appreciate the candor and in return my sister will come to your house and blow you. Are you a female? Very well then... I'll come to your house and blow your brother.

 

[Cherry Cola]

... Didn't laugh once.

Not even a giggle.

The second one is decent, if only because it's a fail joke, and those are just sort of awkwardly funny.

And you can keep your sister at home, I'm fine, thanks.

 

[Sassafrass]

Hey, don't make fun of this actress!
She's worked hard to get where she's gotten and, I believe frankly, she should be left alone! SHE HAS TROUBLES, LEAVE LINDSEY ALONE!!! BTW, that was all sarcasm.

OT: I quite like 1 and 5. The rest just seem kinda...eh, to me at least.

 

[RatRace123]

I like 9 the best.

Good luck with the act.

Hmm, Lindsay Lohan in jail... a few years ago that could've been the subject of a great porno. Now, eh not so much.

 

[Julianking93]

#2 and 9 were pretty good.

The rest...eh.

 

[Jroo wuz heer]

my top three of those:
1. 10
2. 9
3. 3

do NOT use:
7
4
2!
5

 

[cgride555]

I like 9 the best.

Good luck with the act.

Thank you! Topical isn't quite my area, but I'm going to have a go at it anyway.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Well this was stupid

 

[Estocavio]

Id say 1,2, or 3... I also have my own, and i sincerely apologise if i offend anyone;

Spoiler

Now wouldnt it be fun if Lohan and little miss Palin go off and f- each other to death in a rotted ditch - Itd take five minutes and the mess would be minimal."

 

[cgride555]

I'd prefer a cocaine joke. Lindsey Lohan is a ******.

Of yours I'd say 1 is the best.

I had forgotten she was on the midnight express! Thank you sir! I may be able to factor this in.

 

[teutonicman]

4 is a definite winner. The others weren't funny.

 

[swolf]

10, 9, and 1 are my picks.

 

[Slaanax]

1, 4, then 9 where the ones I liked in that order.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

10, 9, 6 and three are all pretty good. The best is probably either 6 or 9 depending on how political your audience is.

I didn't like the others at all.

 

[cgride555]

A sincere thanks to all who have participated thus far. I'm honestly just a stupid guy trying to get a silly idea off the ground, and this has helped in my wacky escapades.

 

[Kinguendo]

2 could be funny... if you didnt already say "gonorrhea" before the punchline, and you know... tightened the phrasing with good timing with the pause at the end.