I went with some friends to Buffalo Wild Wings yesterday. In my corner of the United States, there are no BWWs nearby, so this was only my second trip there. I myself am something of a wing fanatic/mad man, and they had wings, so I was there like shareware.
For a moment, I'll disregard the fact that they did not immediately order the spiciest wings possible without a moment's hesitation. As embarrassing as ordering sissy wings was for them, that wasn't what was the worst about this whole ordeal.
Instead, it is worth noting that their Sissy Wings were BONELESS.
Now, if you're like me (i.e., a MAN), then you just reeled back in disgust, spat out the lamb blood beer you were inevitably drinking, and blew up an SUV full of steaks with your Man-O-Vision out of sheer frustration and anger.
I know. I'm still upset over it.
Look. A boneless buffalo wing isn't a buffalo wing. It's an unnatural abomination, a chicken nugget with sauce, and it's WRONG. It's spineless, like the little girlie-man eating it. We all know that boneless buffalo wings were invented so that whiny girlfriends would shut up and stop talking about nail polish or whatever while sports games were on, and they should be treated as such.
This is part public service announcement, part quiz. Pick your answer wisely to the poll attached, because there's only one right answer. It's the second answer, and I don't even care that I gave it away. Real men would have known what the right choice was before even reading anything on the page (real men don't read - for example, I just typed all of this by smashing my face into the keyboard until I sustained serious brain damage since writing is like reading but not), chosen the right answer, and strangled a t-rex to death with a crane lift.
The moral of the story, of course, is God Bless America, and to hell with the Miami Heat.
