Poll: Need some advice here.

[Deverfro]

So I'll admit I feel a tad silly posting this here. Nothing against this community or anything, I'm just not comfortable talking about this in general. And yes, its about a girl.

I've been friends with her for years, and have really strong feelings for her. Im sure she see's us as just friends, and I want to say somethng, but I don't have the confidence and really don't want too risk our friendship. Its more of a problem because we hang out together in a large group of people and I woldn't want to make things uncomfortbale.

If I did have the courage to say something to her, what ever I think of sounds to cheesy or to pushy or desperate. I have dropped hints in the past, but they were pretty forward and done over the net, so yeah fuckin lame I know. Plus I really over analyse everything, so it gets worse.

Any help would be really appreciated, Thanks for taking the time to help someone who is in need, count it at your good deed for the day xD

 

[Deverfro]

Thanks, that really does help

 

[rutger5000]

Staying just friends is lying to her about your feelings about her. Don't you think that is kind of low? What you should do is take a few deep breaths, go to the girl and ask her for a date. And make it clear that you want it to be a real date, and not a thing between friends.
I mean do you really want to stay like this forever, eventually seeing her take of with some other guy, just because you did not have the guts to ask her out?
If she really is your friend, then she won't be an ass about it. Yes she might reject you, but you'll stay friends. If not then you were never really friends anyway.
Owh and by the way, no hinds are forward. A dorm-mate of mine with whom I'm very close with is really smart, funny and pretty I don't want to date her because it would feel really weird. But she also has confidence problems, so sometimes she needs someone to tell her she is in fact really smart, funny and pretty. I usually do this, but it's just a compliment not a flirt, and she knows that. What I'm trying to say that hints and compliments don't mean that you actually have feelings for someone. The only thing that says you have feelings for someone is saying: "I have feelings for you"
Owh and one more by the way: There is no such thing as not having enough courage. That's just an excuse you use. You can easily get over it by simply forcing yourself to do it. Maybe ask a friend to beat you up if you don't? Something like that. It's not that bad if you stutter a little bit.

 

[Insanum]

speaking as the guy that never told her, i can say that honestly speaking, if you dont tell her you'll kick yourself more, and for a longer period, than if you did and she said no.

I'd follow aylaine's approach on things, she pretty much summed it up perfectly.

Best of luck!

 

[Zaverexus]

Just do it man, if anything a group of good friends you both hang out with will only be supportive
Plus

I'd follow aylaine's approach on things, she pretty much summed it up perfectly.

Aylaine is always right, welcome to the Advice forums

 

[Deverfro]

Since posting this thread, and getting some great advice so quickly, I've been going over what to say, like obsessively. So what I have is

"Hey [Name] Ive wanted to tell you that, for a while now, Ive started to like you as more than a friend, And was wondering if you maybe wanted to see a movie or something?"

Too lame? or what?

 

[Lexxi64]

Since posting this thread, and getting some great advice so quickly, I've been going over what to say, like obsessively. So what I have is

"Hey [Name] Ive wanted to tell you that, for a while now, Ive started to like you as more than a friend, And was wondering if you maybe wanted to see a movie or something?"

Too lame? or what?

Not lame at all! I think that sounds nice. Go for it, pal

 

[Deverfro]

Since posting this thread, and getting some great advice so quickly, I've been going over what to say, like obsessively. So what I have is

"Hey [Name] Ive wanted to tell you that, for a while now, Ive started to like you as more than a friend, And was wondering if you maybe wanted to see a movie or something?"

Too lame? or what?

Not lame at all! I think that sounds nice. Go for it, pal

Thanks, I will!

 

[Deverfro]

Since posting this thread, and getting some great advice so quickly, I've been going over what to say, like obsessively. So what I have is

"Hey [Name] Ive wanted to tell you that, for a while now, Ive started to like you as more than a friend, And was wondering if you maybe wanted to see a movie or something?"

Too lame? or what?

That's pretty good, but I think you should confirm if she feels the same way about you before you initiate some kind of outing/activity to go to together. Something like this:

"Hey [Name] Ive wanted to tell you that, for a while now, Ive started to like you as more than a friend, and I wanted to know if you feel the same way about me?"

From there, depending on her answer, you can ask her out or if she says no, you can see that thems the brakes on this relationship. Some people might argue that this gives her another chance to say no, before saying yes but in a lot of the forced situations I see (where she/he says yes just because she has no good way of saying no) they end up going out, but she never feels the same way he does or vice versa, because feelings were not confirmed beforehand but you guys still went with it, so no connection is made in this area and it's not for sure out of her mouth if she does like you. She still could go to the movies but you wouldn't know for sure if she liked you in that way. :/

I hope this helps!

Right then, all good advice, thanks everyone

 

[Deverfro]

Just wanted to say that, when I wrote this I said I had no confiedence, but now I know what I should say, I have that confidence. Thank you all so much!

 

[Schreck157]

If you've been friends with her long enough to have developed those feelings for her, it's highly unlikely that she has no similar feelings toward you. Best I can say is go out on a ledge, take a chance. In fact, I was in the friend zone myself with a girl for a few months. Eventually I did ask her out and she told me later that she was waiting for me too. That she didn't like being just friends with me and she was just waiting for me to make the first move, because she was just as nervous about embarrassing herself if I had rejected HER; and we're getting married in a few years. Hope some of that helped.

 

[Kakashi on crack]

Don't gotta be pushy or anything, just mention that you have feelings for her when you get the chance. If she isn't interested, then I suppose that's the end of it, if she is, then it works in your favor.