Poll: Orcs, Elves or Dwarfs?

[Not-here-anymore]

Wait, is that what you'd rather be, or which is (to us) inherently better?

I'd rather be an elf - immortality and impossible beauty? Yes please! (assuming a Tolkien-esque elf, and not the older fairy tale versions)

But I like orcs - a fast moving, unstoppably large horde, the very ground shakes as they march.
Capable climbers, they can fight in the halls of the Dwarven Lords or the trees of the Elven Kings. Also, a previously forgotten orc bonus - they're green! And could gag an elf with their breath from 20 paces. Not a dwarf, the alcohol that's soaked into the beard prevents that.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Also, Serenegoose, do you read the Discworld novels? If not, I whole heartedly recommend them. Not only are they the funniest books out there, they are very insightful, very clever and turn all the tropes and clichés of fantasy on their heads and make them REALLY really cool. The explanation of the quirks of different races are wonderful. The first few books are a bit "meh" in comparison to the later ones, but you don't really need to read them in any particular order, as the characters drop in and out of the overarching narrative and each novel contains its own story.

I loves me some discworld. Give me some of that Sam Vimes or Rincewind goodness.

Excellent! Sam is probably my favourite (Loved "Thud!") but I do love me a bit of Granny and Nanny.

I think we can all agree that Death is the best of the best. I mean look at the guy

Ahh, discworld. One of the few series I was happy to see the introduction of orcs to. It'll be good to see what Terry Pratchett does with them, if he writes any more Discworld books.

Definitely a Vimes fan otherwise.

 

[pikler2]

Serioli said: Elves - Immortal - Win

Elves are NOT immortal,it seems like they can live for ever because they have a long lifespan BUT a well placed shot can take one down. Still they are snipers, against an unarmored opponent they can take them down really easily.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

You know what? I like women instead so can I just pick that?

If it was Orcs, Elves, Dwarfs or Women - you probably could... but seeing as it's not, and seeing as it's middle earth creatures - you should just choose from what I've given you, thanks.

Touche and I'll pick elves in that event.

Aren't they the only ones that we ever actually see the women for anyway?

 

[Abengoshis]

I was going to vote for Elves or Orcs just because of the spelling mistake on Dwarves, but Dwarves are so cool I had to vote Dwarf.

 

[Marv21]

If I was an evil overlord who wished to conquer all life...I would choose Orcs, they are efficient deadly and take commands well...but livin as an elf in a tree would never get boring...at least for the first half of eternity it would!

 

[Johnny Cain]

In the Lord of the Rings universe (which you're calling upon for your racial showcases in entirety), I'd have to throw my lot in with the Dwarves.
Preferably in a time when their holdings were intact and Goblin free.

 

[thahat]

its simple realy. id like my anal sphyncter not to stretch so never elves.
there is no higher gay then elves.

I thought the fey were, by definition, more gay than elves.

Edit: And isn't the elvish tendency to fuck anything, if anything, a sign of heterosexuality taken to the extreme? I swear, I once saw a half-elf shrub. They're almost as bad as dragons.

what are fey? -has never heard of the apparently gay buggers.

 

[Revolutionary]

Elves.. better KD spread LOL

 

[thahat]

the god emperor approves of dwarves. ( can you imagine a dwarf verzion of a drop pod? so awsome.

If only squats were still around Iom did approve of them, they were allies after all, it was GW who didnt.... Something about the game designers being embarassed about legions of dwarven bikers ¬¬

its GW, it probably did not give them enough money to build a real life golden throne with build in eldar gateway thing big enough for a warhound titan to walk through XD

 

[ObsessiveSketch]

FOR THE DWARVES!!!







....fuck you, I thought it was clever.

 

[ChiryX]

Orcs ftw, they just look so awesome<3

 

[Zorg Machine]

If it's control of them, I choose orcs. If it's to be one of them, I choose elves.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

its simple realy. id like my anal sphyncter not to stretch so never elves.
there is no higher gay then elves.

I thought the fey were, by definition, more gay than elves.

Edit: And isn't the elvish tendency to fuck anything, if anything, a sign of heterosexuality taken to the extreme? I swear, I once saw a half-elf shrub. They're almost as bad as dragons.

what are fey? -has never heard of the apparently gay buggers.

Faerie. Faerie are to elves what demons are to tieflings.