Poll: Our generation

[Khadath]

Now a while ago I heard about this thing called "digital natives", it referred to our generation and our lack of ability to read other people because of how much time we spent growing up interacting with technology more then other people.

I had previously disregarded this as with most things delving into our generations social ineptitude, however I have recently had to question this after a very messy early St Patty's celebration.

Now enough of the warm up dialog, I'm 19 and had been kinda seeing this gal for a bit now, I was getting a few mixed signs from her like with most gals when their interested, I had even asked for some of my mates to try and read her and they said she was into me, one even thought we were already together.

Now fast forward to the night in question and it was all going well, I was planning on making my do or die move and got up to get a pint of porter(yes I drink that) as she wanted to try it and I had already gotten her onto Guinness. I get back to see her making out with this guy one of my mates had invited along, I skull the pint give him a fair whack on the back and slam the glass down on the table then leave the pub and start headbutting and punching stuff, later returning to get my stuff only to have the cops looking for me, I was then escorted out and told not to return.

After all that she met up with me out side thinking I had gotten into a fight, I lay it all out and she leaves, the next day it's all sorted out and she says that she wasn't even sure herself and was asking her friends and even her Mum if they thought I liked her and they said that they didn't think so, all in an attempt to avoid an event like what happened.

Now the point of all this isn't how cursed I am with relationships or who was right or wrong we already got that,neither is it about how ridiculously hard my skull is, but its about how we can be so incapable of reading each other and even being read by people from older generations and our own, all my friends were saying she was into me and all her friends were saying that I wasn't into her, even the guy who had been with us most the night didn't pick up that I was into her (or didn't have the commonsense not to go there). Now I'm a fairly big guy and built like a boxer, everyone saw that I was pissed off, Christ! Even the bouncers didn't want to get in my way and the guy cheesed it when he saw that look in my eye, but everything leading up to it should have been easy to see as well.

Anyway there's my thoughts on it what does everyone else think about our generations social ineptitude?

P.S. I know I have bad grammar lets move past that if we can.

Edit: If you vote could you please explain I'd like as much input and don't care how brutal.

 

[Labyrinth]

While it may affect some, I've never had that problem. I read people really well if I may say so. Well enough to be scary, apparently. Much of this comes from an inherent understanding of body-language and inflection in the voice. A lot of people would miss this on the basis that much communication now is through text either online or mobile phones.

We're in love with technology. Our Pixel generation will hold that forever because we've grown up with the internet, with instant access and all too much information at our fingertips.

 

[Flying-Emu]

I think it depends more on the person.

Maybe the girl was a floozy, maybe she was smashed, who knows?

Point is, it's always been hard to read people. Especially the opposite sex. We'll never know if we read better or worse, since we won't experience both statuses. And since the human factor is involved, any test would be foolhardy.

 

[RavingPenguin]

I dont know how well others read people, but I can do it fairly well. I can read guys and girls I dont find attractive. Once I find a girl attractive I have a hell of a time reading her. Its a pain in the ass too, reading people is something Ive come to rely on. Body language and sentence patterns make up more of what we say than what we actually do. Being able to read it is a huge advantage, and everyone should learn how to do it.

 

[LewsTherin]

Hmmm...always use the forward approach, if you are serious. By that, of course, I mean go right up to her and ask. And don't start pub fights, it never turns out well...Blackrock Depths has imparted a life lesson unto you.

 

[Plauged1]

What Penguin said. It is a handy skill and people should learn it. Just don't confuse it with conclusion jumping or paranoia. I know some people who can read people well and some who can't and stand there looking like idiots when they can't get the hint that someone wants something. I can do it moderately well, but I don't really rely on it. Avid has a pretty good point too.

 

[Khadath]

Women are a universal mystery to men. Every generation has struggled with figuring out how to read them, and every single one has failed. The only thing which varies is the degree to which they disguise their failure, you see.

Perhaps our generation is entirely capable of communicating, but rather poor at pretending we don't communicate badly?

That's my opinion on it, anyway.

That's the thing it wasn't just a misunderstanding between a gal and a guy, usually we can tell if another guys interested and don't go near that, also I was under the impression that we men are easy to read, hell I thought I was being straight forward.

 

[lizards]

i didnt grow up in "your generation" but i dont think that it is computers (BLAH BLAH BLAH ETC.) fault i just think that when people had it when i was growing up it was rock music (one of my loves) and knows its games and stuff they just want to blame it on something just because you have trouble doesnt mean that it was tech that did it i may just be that you cant read people very well

 

[Khadath]

i didnt grow up in "your generation" but i dont think that it is computers (BLAH BLAH BLAH ETC.) fault i just think that when people had it when i was growing up it was rock music (one of my loves) and knows its games and stuff they just want to blame it on something

I'm not looking to blame games or anything, but I'm interested to see if anyone else thinks that with all the IM, txt, and phone calls we make rather than seeing the person face to face to talk so much has had an effect.

I know we still do see others face to face a fair amount as well but the majority of our contact with each other is done digitally.

Also it wasn't just me, almost all of our closest friends seemed to have the same problem.

 

[lizards]

i didnt grow up in "your generation" but i dont think that it is computers (BLAH BLAH BLAH ETC.) fault i just think that when people had it when i was growing up it was rock music (one of my loves) and knows its games and stuff they just want to blame it on something

I'm not looking to blame games or anything, but I'm interested to see if anyone else thinks that with all the IM, txt, and phone calls we make rather than seeing the person face to face to talk so much has had an effect.

I know we still do see others face to face a fair amount as well but the majority of our contact with each other is done digitally.

Also it wasn't just me, almost all of our closest friends seemed to have the same problem.

i know im just saying that is what most people fall back on in these arguements

 

[TheCheryl]

"Our Generation" is too generic and catch all for my tastes. The age ranges here range between fifteen and forty. Majority is late teen to 20's if I remember it right and what some of us consider "our" generation varies dramatically. I could span my generation within two years either direction of my age, totaling a five year span.

21-25 is "My" generation. The transitioning "Echo Boomers" We're born in the mid 80s and are no longer kids come mid 90s, teenhood spent finishing off the 90s and early 00's. My gen are young adults right now. We're either still in college or finishing it, some of us are married and have kids. Socializing is a combination of phoning, texting via phone or internet, going out to restaurants or bars and hanging out at eachothers' places. We're a grand mix that don't fall into either extreme completely.

I think it's not so much a generational social issue in this case but a gender gap. Women think men are complicated and vise versa. God knows, I could socialize with guys all day and know them rather well but drag things into the realms of a relationship and something switches over in my brain and I start over thinking.

The song and dance is typical where you skitter about the issue. Both genders do that. It's a part of growing up and learning about relationships. It gets better in time as you figure things out. I did it, I do it less and less with every relationship. Don't fret about it.

 

[Khadath]

"Our Generation" is too generic and catch all for my tastes. The age ranges here range between fifteen and forty. Majority is late teen to 20's if I remember it right and what some of us consider "our" generation varies dramatically. I could span my generation within two years either direction of my age, totaling a five year span.

21-25 is "My" generation. The transitioning "Echo Boomers" We're born in the mid 80s and are no longer kids come mid 90s, teenhood spent finishing off the 90s and early 00's. My gen are young adults right now. We're either still in college or finishing it, some of us are married and have kids. Socializing is a combination of phoning, texting via phone or internet, going out to restaurants or bars and hanging out at eachothers' places. We're a grand mix that don't fall into either extreme completely.

I think it's not so much a generational social issue in this case but a gender gap. Women think men are complicated and vise versa. God knows, I could socialize with guys all day and know them rather well but drag things into the realms of a relationship and something switches over in my brain and I start over thinking.

The song and dance is typical where you skitter about the issue. Both genders do that. It's a part of growing up and learning about relationships. It gets better in time as you figure things out. I did it, I do it less and less with every relationship. Don't fret about it.

It's not the part about me and her I'm asking about I know all that stuff, it's not like I'm new to it, however I just cant seem to wrap my head around how our closest friends couldn't read us, even the guy couldn't and guys are pretty damn good at reading each other especially when there are gals involved.

 

[TheCheryl]

Sometimes the lines just blur. I know if I see a couple that seem really close and connected I'd assume they'd be an item that just aren't being obnoxious about it. Just because some folks are in a relationship doesn't mean they have to advertise the fact.

 

[Matronadena]

he, I'm late Gen-X so Im not too too sure really how to go about this as it seemes to pertain to late Gen-y and iGeneration

 

[Khadath]

he, I'm late Gen-X so Im not too too sure really how to go about this as it seemes to pertain to late Gen-y and iGeneration

Yeah Gen-X you guys had it right.

 

[Matronadena]

well do dive into it I can see alot of possible factors...going from:

" yes the ability to empathize and read an individual based on body language, pheromones, or even tone seems to become less and less attuned as digital communication becomes more dominant in individuals"

to

" looks more like a typical misunderstanding between the genders and their ideas of 'what being interested" means"

and lastly;

you two both in your own ways expressed intrest by bothering to ask.. though your mates and hers are total tits when it comes to understanding people, OR one set had something against the other " ie she may have had friends who were interested in you so wanted to derail her etc"

 

[Khadath]

ie she may have had friends who were interested in you so wanted to derail her etc"

Hmmm that'd be even more awkward, the friend who's opinion she trusted the most is also the fiddler in my Celtic punk band.(I know fiddler)

But It's good to see that I'm not the only one that seems to think that digital communication is having an impact on our ability to read body language.

 

[Matronadena]

lad as long as she does not have a mustache, and smell of vending machine meat pie, and not a " Baobh or luid" then take it as a compliment and stroke your ego abit, but set things straight * lol

 

[Jaedon]

Well, judging from your response to that guy I'd say then at the very least 'you' yourself have the lack of empathy for people you talk about. Ever think about putting yourself in his shoes, empathising with him? He probably saw you maybe at best acting flirty with her but if it was obvious that she wasn't interested in you, (by the fact that she was kissing him!) then he was the total innocent in the matter and your response was childish and selfish. As for her not picking up on your feelings, well alot are just accustom to guys acting that way around them, can't blame her for not picking up on your emotions if that's the case with her.

 

[McClaud]

I don't think its that much of a generational thing as much as it seems to be the "situation" was hard to read.

Honestly, I'm a pretty good reader of people, even people in the present youthful generation. Perhaps being younger makes it harder, and you still have to work at it a bit until you reach my age. I wasn't really good at reading people until around my late 20's, honestly.

And situations that involve flirting always create hard-to-read circumstances. It sounds like to me you were doing too little to get her real attention, and she did too little to give you a real sense of what's what.