Poll: Public displays of affection

[kurokotetsu]

there is a fine line between displays of affection and foreplay.
once i feel you cross that line you can go somewhere private.

What is that line? Why go somewhere private? Does it bother you to see it? Do you think is wrong doing it?

everyone has their own line but if i was to whip my dick out and start jacking in the middle of a subway i'm sure most people would not approve.
If you give your wife a hug noone cares.
give her a peck on the check noone cares.
prolonged few second kiss might raise an eyebrow amongst a prudish crowd,
multi minuet french kiss may make others uncomfortable.
groping may cross a legal line.

Well I've groped in public near police, so at least here is not above the legal limit. But that reminds me a city in Mexico where they tried to outlaw kissing (a city which one of it's most important touristic spots is an The Kiss Alley, where a fair amount of couples went in romantic moments to share a kiss) and the reaction it got from Mexicans was to French kiss all over town to complain about an excessively prudish law. Public masturbation is illegal, and I have mixed feeling about that (prudishness not being one, but fun is).

I'm with Mezahmay, really. But I imagine it's equal parts jealousy and prudishness. It's inappropriate behavior and shouldn't be tolerated. That's why I kind of miss school. If a teacher saw two kids snogging in the halls, they'd tell them to fuck off.

Why is it innappropiate? Why shouldn't it be tolerated?

Whatever, so long as things don't get too second-basey...

Why second base is the limit?

 

[Kopikatsu]

Why is it innappropiate? Why shouldn't it be tolerated?

PDAs are very 'all or nothing', and so they should either be fully prohibited or not prohibited at all. Since we have public indecency laws already, I go for 'fully prohibit'.

I would even go as far as to argue that kissing in public, beyond a peck on the cheek, should be considered public indecency.

Here's a question: What benefit is there to letting people perform PDAs? I see none, except for some outliers like tourism insofar as Kiss Alley is concerned.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Whatever, so long as things don't get too second-basey...

Why second base is the limit?

Because fondling people's sex organs in public is a little too much for my milquetoast heart.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

For me it comes down to both the context of the situation and how far it's going.

Kissing and holding hands fits into the realm of affection for me. Making out and hands going under the shirt is a lot more sexual. If you're in full public view you should leave your public displays of affection as affection. I honestly don't care that much if you do though, just it's awkward being 3 feet away from someone on the train while a boyfriend gropes his girlfriend's ass.

As for context, just as courtesy when I'm hanging out with someone as well as my girlfriend I try to keep the PDA to a minimum. When you're in a group of three and the other two can't keep their hands off each other it's really exclusive, and by that metric inconsiderate.

Of course I've violated both of these (although I don't think anyone noticed either time, hooray for blankets!), but I think that's generally the line where PDA's are okay

Why is it innappropiate? Why shouldn't it be tolerated?

PDAs are very 'all or nothing', and so they should either be fully prohibited or not prohibited at all. Since we have public indecency laws already, I go for 'fully prohibit'.

I would even go as far as to argue that kissing in public, beyond a peck on the cheek, should be considered public indecency.

Here's a question: What benefit is there to letting people perform PDAs? I see none, except for some outliers like tourism insofar as Kiss Alley is concerned.

Should holding hands and hugging in public be banned as well? A lot of people lump those in with PDA. What about just light kissing?

 

[V4Viewtiful]

Self confessed prude here, I've never like Public displays but recently in England a lesbian gave there partner a peck on the cheek and some busybody complained and they where asked to leave. That's just annoying, even for me.

 

[Techno Squidgy]

Why is it innappropiate? Why shouldn't it be tolerated?

PDAs are very 'all or nothing', and so they should either be fully prohibited or not prohibited at all. Since we have public indecency laws already, I go for 'fully prohibit'.

I would even go as far as to argue that kissing in public, beyond a peck on the cheek, should be considered public indecency.

Seriously? I can't even begin to comprehend how someone could view kissing another person as public indecency.

But back on topic.
I think PDAs should go no further than french kissing. It's not like I'd prohibit anyone from doing more, that's just where I'd personally draw the line. As long as you aren't in the way of other people trying to go about their business, and you're not pleasuring each other in public, I don't mind. Hell I don't really mind if you are pleasuring each other in public as long as you're discreet, that shit's incredibly distracting, how the hell am I supposed to hold a conversation when the blood flow is being redirected from the critical faculties?

 

[kurokotetsu]

Why is it innappropiate? Why shouldn't it be tolerated?

PDAs are very 'all or nothing', and so they should either be fully prohibited or not prohibited at all. Since we have public indecency laws already, I go for 'fully prohibit'.

I would even go as far as to argue that kissing in public, beyond a peck on the cheek, should be considered public indecency.

Here's a question: What benefit is there to letting people perform PDAs? I see none, except for some outliers like tourism insofar as Kiss Alley is concerned.

Why are they "all or nothing" and why should the status quo be upheld in favor of change? We have the laws but maybe they should be changed, as they are protecting no one, not being really helpful.

The benefit? More personal liberties. If you are harming no one (and kissing someone is not harming anyone who see, as neither is touching her body) then you should be left to do whatever you like. Freedom to do stuff trumps other perceptions, which is why interracial couples, freedom of religion, etc. even if they bother some people shouldn't be illegal.

 

[Kopikatsu]

Should holding hands and hugging in public be banned as well? A lot of people lump those in with PDA. What about just light kissing?

No, because those are 'general' behaviors that are shared between parties who are not necessarily in some form of engagement. For the same reason I would say that mouth to mouth kissing wouldn't be PDA in middle eastern countries because that's simply a form of greeting between men with no sexual connotations involved.

Why is it innappropiate? Why shouldn't it be tolerated?

PDAs are very 'all or nothing', and so they should either be fully prohibited or not prohibited at all. Since we have public indecency laws already, I go for 'fully prohibit'.

I would even go as far as to argue that kissing in public, beyond a peck on the cheek, should be considered public indecency.

Seriously? I can't even begin to comprehend how someone could view kissing another person as public indecency.

What is acceptable and what isn't acceptable is subjective. See also: Kuro wondering why Johnny thinks second base should be the limit. Better to ban it and save everyone the trouble. If you aren't capable of keeping it 'in your pants' for however long you're in public with your SO, then perhaps classes on self control wouldn't be amiss. (You in a general sense, not you in specific.)

 

[Godhead]

If two people so much as look at each other in the eyes, it is unacceptably lewd. The only acceptable instance of that is if you're in a staring contest.

 

[Basement Cat]

Off the top of my head I can't recall any time I've seen PDAs. I'm sure I have but I don't remember them. I'm pretty much indifferent to it, I guess.

Of course there are PDA's and then there are PDA's. Two people groping and making out in public would be inappropriate under most circumstances (not all, of course i.e. certain parties, etc)

There was one instance about 2 or so years ago when I game my Mom a hug and my teenage nephew said something about PDAs being gross. I'm a grown man over forty and my mother is elderly, frail, and not in the best of health (taking care of her is the reason I've been scarce on this site the last year).

When my nephew acted like a teenager squicking at my giving Mom a hug I told him bluntly--right then and there--that I would hug my mother and giver her kisses on the cheeks as much as possible because she might not live too much longer. He blinked and shrunk and didn't say another word: A teen getting gently swatted for acting like a boy towards adults.

Yes, Mom was right there when I said it and she didn't blink. I home nursed my father until he died and have been taking care of her for years and we both are very, very matter of fact about life and death.

 

[Something Amyss]

Depends on the intensity, frequency, and duration.

A lot of people are simply being discourteous.

Otherwise...eh.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I'm not a fan of PDAs. I don't know why but they make me uncomfortable.
Hell I don't even like holding hands in public!

When it comes to other people I'm fine with hand holding, hugging, and kissing but french kissing and anything further than that makes me really uncomfortable.

 

[Drathnoxis]

I shared a drink of water mouth to mouth

Is this some sort of euphemism or did you literally spit water into someone's mouth? If so, that has to be the most disgusting thing I've read in a week.

OT: Depends if I knew the people or not. If I saw a couple that I knew well really going at it on a bench at the mall or whatever it would probably make me throw up a little in my mouth. If didn't know them I would probably not care all that much as long as I wouldn't have to be near them for long.

I feel like this topic is similar to what Shamus Young covered in this article:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/video-games/columns/experienced-points/11943-Why-is-a-Bare-Breast-More-Offensive-Than-a-Severed-Arm

In particular this quote seems to fit:

George Carlin once said, "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" The same idea applies here. We all seem to think that everyone more conservative than us is a prude, and everyone less conservative is some kind of sex-crazed hedonist. We tend to classify things as offensive if they're shocking or go beyond the norms we're used to, and these norms are generally shaped by stuff like tradition, climate, and viewing habits.

 

[Pirate Of PC Master race]

I either want less of it or more chance of participation.

That is all I can say.

 

[kurokotetsu]

I shared a drink of water mouth to mouth

Is this some sort of euphemism or did you literally spit water into someone's mouth? If so, that has to be the most disgusting thing I've read in a week.

OT: Depends if I knew the people or not. If I saw a couple that I knew well really going at it on a bench at the mall or whatever it would probably make me throw up a little in my mouth. If didn't know them I would probably not care all that much as long as I wouldn't have to be near them for long.

I feel like this topic is similar to what Shamus Young covered in this article:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/video-games/columns/experienced-points/11943-Why-is-a-Bare-Breast-More-Offensive-Than-a-Severed-Arm

In particular this quote seems to fit:

George Carlin once said, "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" The same idea applies here. We all seem to think that everyone more conservative than us is a prude, and everyone less conservative is some kind of sex-crazed hedonist. We tend to classify things as offensive if they're shocking or go beyond the norms we're used to, and these norms are generally shaped by stuff like tradition, climate, and viewing habits.

That is not a euphemism of any kind. Considering that scale I'm so much into the hedonistic sex-crazed side of the scale few people are more for me. And I disagree with Calrin, and Young for that matter (interesting article but it is very placed into a single cultural view, if seen very sexual content with family and discussed it since a young age, since my parents are very liberal and after my teenage awkwardness i have no problem seeing sexual content with friends, family or strangers, a sex and hot scene barely registers with me if I'm alone or with anyone else). Sharing a mouthful of water in a public place is actually very secy (fodo can be part fo teh fun, as drinks, any drink) and rather on the tamer side, I would say, of what i do. I don't see why you find it disgusting (no more, I thik, that you don't see why I find it erotic and pelasurable).

 

[viscomica]

To me it goes like this:
Basic PDA A.K.A Holding hands: super ok, probably won't even notice.
Hugging: super cute. If the people involved in the hug are not in any way blocking me from my destination, it's absolutely fine.
Kissing: if it's a peck it's lovely and won't even mind. If they are french kissing I'll just look away but won't really pay too much attention. It's still totally fine
If it starts looking like they are dry humping each other but with clothes on: Too much, it's just too much. In those rare situations I never do say anything but it does make me feel somewhat annoyed that there are people who think that kind of behaviour is acceptable.

 

[Zhukov]

Never been bothered by it.

I suppose it makes me a bit jealous if I'm in a shitty mood, but that's my problem, not theirs.

Usually it just makes me laugh.

Saw a couple fucking on a park bench once. Broad daylight. Laughed, kept on walking, and the world kept right on turning.

 

[Aesir23]

As long as people aren't practically climbing on one another or doing anything sexual then I don't mind seeing it. However, I am definitely not the type of person to engage in it since I tend to be extremely private even where most friends are concerned. So engaging in PDA is pretty far outside of my comfort zone.

 

[pyramid head grape]

I persoanlly wouldn't notice them, I myself taking part would care if I was! If I like a person enough to kiss them I'm not gonna care much about other people! Same should go for them!

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

It really doesn't bother me.

The only time it does bother me is if the couple is practically having sex out in the open. In that case, they should find the nearest motel, or their own car if they're feeling cheap, and carry on there.

I remember one time going into work and I caught two teens practically having sex in front of my work's nursery. There was a backpack involved for leverage, I think. I dunno, but that's the line. No sex out in the open, but make out away for all I care.

EDIT: Also, the other line is that it's not on or against my car. I have no sense of humor about that. I can, and will, set off my car alarm if I catch anyone doing that against my car. They don't need to violate my car to express their love.